


This Light Between Us

by MariaArnt



Series: This Light Between Us [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Dubious Consent, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Movie Spoilers, Nightmares, Possible incest (not that it would stop me... going to hell on this ship and I don't care ), Psychological Trauma, Rape/Non-con Elements, References to Prequel characters, Reylo - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2018-05-10 17:20:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 26
Words: 82,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5594569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MariaArnt/pseuds/MariaArnt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Kylo Ren tries to delve into Rey's mind and she fights back, it damages both of them. Now, as Rey tries to heal, she begins to have a series of disturbing dreams centered around the enigmatic dark jedi. But are they really just dreams?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Impressions

**Author's Note:**

> The first two chapters of this story are scenes that happen in the movie, told entirely from Rey's perspective (as most of this story will be). I was a little disappointed with the novelization and wanted to explore what exactly was going on inside Rey's mind during the interrogation. 
> 
> Chapter 3 will start exploring what happens after the movie, but only in terms of the connection between Rey and Kylo, I'm not going to bother with a whole overarching plot for the fate of the galaxy lol.
> 
> Enjoy!

Rey was accustomed to waking quickly. On Jakku, a few moments' indulgence could mean you would never wake up again. But now she had to fight to come awake, fight against the curtain of darkness that had dropped over her. The first thing she noticed was that her wrists were held fast, the second that she was vertical. When she finally prized her eyelids open, there wasn't much to see. The room was dark, and she was bolted onto a tilted platform.

"Where am I?" she murmured. Thinking she was alone, the words had slipped out without thought.

"Does the physical location really matter so much?" The distinctive modulated voice of Kylo Ren resonated in the small room.

The shock of his answer was ameliorated by Rey's surprise at his tone. It was almost gentle. He knelt on the floor before her, low enough that she had to tilt her chin to see him properly.

"You're my guest," Ren explained when she did not answer.

Rey frowned. "Where are the others?" He was right, it didn't really matter where she was, as long as her friends were near.

Standing slowly, Kylo Ren crossed his arms. "You mean the traitors, murderers, and theives you call friends?" He let the threat hang in the air a moment, and then seemed to shrug. "You will be relieved to hear that I have no idea."

She was relieved - for their sake. That is, if he was telling the truth. If he was lying, if he had hurt them....

"You still want to kill me," he murmured, interrupting her train of thought.

She wasn't sure what angered her more, the absurdity of his comment or the puzzlement in his voice. "That happens when you're being hunted by a creature in a mask!" She spat. As soon as she said it, she wished she hadn't. This creature was dangerous, that much he had proven. She had no way of knowing how he would retaliate to insult.

To her utter shock, he reached up and pulled back his hood. A press of a button released the lower half of his helmet-like mask, and he lifted it effortlessly.

Rey stared at the face it revealed. She wasn't sure what she had expected - some horrible disfigurement, or a cruel old man. But it was not this: A man, older than her but not by much, his black curly hair somewhat matted from it's recent confinement. His face was narrow, angular, and the only truly remarkable feature were the eyes. Dark and piercing, they gave lie to the apparent vulnerability of his exposed features.

After a moment he set the mask down, the dull thunk revealing that it must be very heavy. When he turned back, he gave her a once-over assessment. He'd had plenty of time to study her while she was unconcious, but apparently it made a difference to see her with his own eyes. Rey felt suddenly uncomfortable under his gaze.

"Is it true?" He finally asked. "You're just a scavenger?"

She had no idea how to answer that. What more would she be?

Trying a different tact, he changed the subject. "Tell me about the droid."

Rey looked away from his eyes that saw too much. It seemed introductions were over. "It's a BB unit with a selenium drive and a thermal hyperscan vindicatior, internal self-correcting gyroscopic propulsion system, optics corrected to--"

"I am familiar with the technical specifications," he interrupted. "What I want is located in it's memory. It's carrying a section of a navigational chart. We have the rest, recovered from the archives of the Empire. Somehow, _you_ convinced the droid to show it to you." He moved to her side, standing close to her. "You. A simple, solitary scavenger. How is that?"

She turned her head away from him, to give herself the illusion of distance. How did he know that? Had he stolen that from her mind as well?

"I know you've seen the map," he pressed on. "It's what I need. At the moment, it's all I need." His voice hovered between commanding and concillatory. He seemed to promise, without saying it, that he would go easy on her if she just complied.

Rey fought not to roll her eyes. She'd heard that one before.

Kylo Ren frowned, displeased. "You know I can _take_ whatever I want," he threatened.

She shuddered, suddenly painfully aware of how vulnerable she really was. She'd heard that line, too. Jakku was not a kind world, and any vulnerablity was eagerly taken advantage of. Rey could defend herself handily, but she was very young when her family had left her to the dubious protection of Unkar Plutt.

Rey heard a sharp indraw of breath, and opened her eyes. She hadn't even realized she'd been squeezing them shut. Kylo's eyes were wide, surprised. He glanced down at her body as if only just now realizing that she was, in fact, female. He seemed more distracted than predatory, and after a moment he caught himself, his face hardening once more. One eyebrow lifted in an unspoken question.

"I won't give you anything," she spat.

He sighed, and straightened his shoulders. "Very well. I would have prefered to avoid this. Despite what you may believe, it gives me no pleasure. I will go as easily as possible -- but I _will_ take what I need."

Her muscles tightened, and she squeezed her eyes shut so she didn't have to watch the hand rising to cover her face.

Rey couldn't pinpoint when the change happened, or how, but she suddenly found herself floating in a void, her arms and legs curled in tight. She felt hands on her shoulders, warm and gentle, and she unfolded a little. Turning her head, she saw the face of Kylo Ren over her shoulder. She tried to yank away from his grasp, but in the weightlessness of space she had no leverage.

 _Shh_ , he murmured, and she didn't hear it with her ears. _Show me, Rey. It's all right_.

In front of her, the void shimmered and reformed into a familiar scene. Her home, on Jakku, the overturned AT-AT walker. The dried flowers. The scratches on the wall.

"You've been so lonely," he murmured, and she could feel him solidify behind her. A broad expanse of chest pressed against her back. A cloak that fluttered around her own legs.

In the scene in front of them, she appeared, adding another scratch to the wall. She gazed out a hole to the stars above, and her heart clenched with longing.

"So afraid to leave..." That same longing echoed in his voice, and she realized that he wasn't just seeing her memories, he was _feeling_ them too.

Her vision-self lay down to sleep, fighting back tears. She felt them fall on her shoulder.

"At night, desperate to sleep, you'd imagine an ocean..." The image before them changed to her imaginings. A vast expanse of water, as far as the eye could see. And in the middle, a twinkling emerald gem. "I can see it... I can see the island..."

It hurt too much to share this, and Rey pushed at him, not with her hands but her mind, scrambling to focus on anything else. A face flashed before them, weathered and scarred.

"Han Solo," Kylo growled, recognizing it. Strangely, she felt a wave of bitterness she'd never felt towards the old smuggler. "He feels like the father you never had," he scoffed. "He would have dissapointed you."

Outraged, Rey shoved ineffectually at him. "Get--out--of--my--head," she gasped. She managed to jerk one shoulder free from his grasp, but he pulled her around to face him, grabbing her arms securely.

"Rey, you've seen the map." He sounded like he was chiding a small child. "It's in there. And I am going to take it. Don't be afraid." He let go of one arm to snake his own around her waist. "I feel it too." Pressing her to him, she gasped, realizing that her body, while poorly defined, was naked.

The tears that had threatened to fall earlier rolled down her cheeks. " _I'm not giving you anything_ ," she insisted.

A hit of a smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "We'll see." Brushing aside her awkward attempts to keep him out, he pressed deeper into her mind. He frowned, not in frustration but more curiosity. _That's interesting_ , she heard him think. _Definitely something worth investigating...._

Rey went still, startled by the thoughts. They did not sound as if they were directed at her. She calmed herself enough to focus on Kylo Ren.  The cloak he wore seemed to be choking him, clinging to his shoulders and pulling him down, almost as if it were it's own creature. He looked tired, his cheeks gaunt and the circles under his eyes as dark as bruises. And his eyes...!

He was already looking intently into her face, and when she locked gazes with him she suddenly realized that she could see _into_ him, the way he looked into her. She took his face in her hands, and for a moment he leaned into the touch.

"You," she breathed.

He froze.

"You're _afraid_ ," she realized aloud.

He pulled back, and her eyes shot open. The trance broken, she could see him standing in front of her, arm outstretched towards her. But standing behind him, looming large, was another figure. Cloaked, it wore a far more intimidating helmet. She pulled at his mind, and a name came to her, easily.

"That you will never be as strong as--Darth Vader!"

Kylo Ren's hand jerked back as if he had been burned. He stumbled back a half step, staring at her in horror. She felt the connection between them shatter, and with it went all the fear, hers and his. All that was left in it's wake was her, unshakeable and unharmed.

Moving quickly, he grabbed his helmet and left, not quite running.

She could hardly believe her luck.

 


	2. Quick Learner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey uses the knowledge she's gleaned from Kylo's mind to make an escape.
> 
> Later, she confronts him in the forest.

Rey stared at the wall of her cell, not seeing it. She had the feeling that something very important had just happened, but it had all gone so quickly she could barely comprehend it.

One thing was clear, in her rush to fight back against Kylo she had taken more than that impression of Darth Vader from his mind. She filtered through the memories, flashes of images and cut off sounds. They mostly seemed to deal with his mind-reading powers, catches of other victims he had stolen from, and a snatch of a deep booming voice explaining the process.

 _You must reach into their minds, and pierce deeply_ , it said. There was more but it was lost, like sand slipping through her fingers. She saw that beyond reading a victim's mind, it was possible to implant suggestions within. Easier than reading, even, if the subject was weak-minded.

Everything felt different. In some ways she felt tainted, violated. But at the same time it was as if the world had opened up around her. All around she could feel... something. Like small warm stars, near and moving. The nearest was behind her, and she realized with a start that it was the superfluous guard who had been set to watch the door to her cell.

Were all these points of light life forms? She was amazed by how many there were, and stretched her senses out, looking for one specific...

 _There_.

Rey jerked in her restraints, pulling her senses back. She had found the spark of Kylo Ren's life. It burned like a supernova, dark and out of control. He felt rage, fear, and strangely, concern. But she had only caught a glimpse, and was too afraid to keep looking. It hurt too much.

Once more she extended her mind, carefully this time, and only just to the guard. Maybe, just maybe....

"Hey you," she called over her shoulder.

The stormtrooper ignored her, but she could sense his agitation.

"You will remove these restraints, and leave this room with the door open."

That got his attention. He walked towards her, and for half a moment she thought, incredulously, that it had worked.

"What did you say?" The voice that was relayed through the white helmet dripped with disdain.

Steeling herself, she tried again. "You will remove these restraints, and leave this room with the door open."

He stared at her a long moment, his helmet hiding all expression. But she could feel the rising irritation and amusement.

"I think I'll _tighten_ those restraints, scavenger scum," he threatened.

Scrambling, Rey looked inside once more, to the piece of Kylo's mind she had stolen. How was it done?

 _You must be perfectly calm_ , said an even, encouraging voice. It was not the one she had heard before. _Find a stillness within you. You must sound confident, relaxed. Form the impression of what you want in your mind, and - gently - nudge it toward them. The hand gesture is just a distraction, it isn't really necessary._

Bolstered by the warm advice, she took a deep breath, letting go of her fear and anxiety. She looked the stormtrooper straight in his vision receptors, and arched an eyebrow. "You will remove these restraints," she said slowly, "and leave this room with the door open." And she pushed with her mind, just a little.

The stormtrooper straightened his spine slowly, and for a moment she thought he would lash out. But then, he spoke. "I will remove those restraints," he said in a monotone, "And leave this room with the door open."

He leaned forward to press a button, and the clamps on her arms and legs sprung free. Then he marched towards the door.

Stunned, she managed to think at the last moment. "And you'll drop your weapon!" She added.

"Aaaand I'll drop my weapon." There was a clatter as he complied.

Rey's heart raced as she stepped down from the platform. What now? She had to get moving, couldn't stop to think. She would just have to trust her senses.

\--

Rey groaned, and arched her back away from the ground. It was so blasted cold here, and her thin tunic wasn't enough to keep the snow from her skin. Her head reeled at the motion, and with a jolt she remembered what had happened. Running for the Falcon, Kylo Ren in their way. He had raised a hand, she had gone flying, slamming into something, and then... darkness.

How long had she been out? In the distance she could hear a strange wrenching sound, like the tearing of metal but dragging on for far too long. A scream then -- Finn!

Rey scrambled to her feet, looking around. The sun had died and it was now night, and far off she could just make out the unnatural red light of Kylo Ren's lightsaber. It was pressed up against a blue one - Luke Skywalker's, she realized - but the crossguard emitters allowed the dark knight to press the blade into Finn's shoulder nonetheless.

Kylo Ren backed off suddenly, and swept his lightsaber in an arc that met the blue blade and forced it aside, flinging it from his grasp. Finn turned to watch it go, and when he did Kylo used his free hand to punch him in the jaw. Finn spun around with the force of the blow, and Kylo brought his fiery weapon down, slicing deeply into Finn's back.

The ex-stormtrooper collapsed in the snow, and Rey bit down on her hand to keep from crying out. Surely Ren would kill him now, run him through the way he had killed Han Solo, just minutes before.

But the dark jedi seemed to care little about the smoking body on the ground, and instead turned away. After a moment she realized he was focused on something else. On Luke's lightsaber. _Anakin Skywalker's blade_. The name rang through her mind, although it meant nothing to her.

Extending a hand, she could feel the pull in the Force as he called to it, willed it toward him. She had a brief moment to wonder why he didn't just walk over and pick it up, before the handle trembled in the snowdrift and she realized he would soon succeed in his useless display of the Force. She couldn't let that happen.

At the last possible moment, she flung out a hand, reaching for it too. Rey thought she was too late, as the handle went flying from the ground toward Kylo's outstretched hand. But he recoiled as it whipped past his face, and turned just in time to see it land in her own palm, as if magnetically pulled.

Rey stared at the weapon in her hand for a long moment. She hadn't thought it would work, had only sought to keep it from his hands, but now.... Glancing up, she caught Kylo's incredulous expression, quickly replaced by one of rage and jealousy.

Adjusting her grip carefully, Rey thumbed the activation switch. With a flourish, Kylo brought his blade to life once more as well. A moment's hesitation, and then he attacked.

Rey was no stranger to close combat. If she had been weilding her staff - and Kylo attacking with something that wouldn't slice it cleanly in half - she had no doubt she could defeat him. He was injured, and while she didn't know how long he'd fought Finn, it had clearly winded him. He was angry, and his rage made him sloppy, he fought with a careless elegance that bordered on reckless.

But the lightsaber was so different from anything she had weilded before. The balance was all wrong, the blade had little weight to it but resisted passage through the air, as if slicing through water. Most of all she missed the reach - she tried a few jabs, threw all of her weight into them, but he easily deflected each long before she got close to scoring a hit.

Soon she was entirely on defense, backing into a small ravine. It felt too much like their first encounter, and she took the same exit, climbing up one wall, but then leapt across the gap to the other side. Kylo followed, leaping from the crevice with two powerful strides of his long legs.

He struck, again and again, and it was all she could do to bring the searing blue light of her weapon up in time to catch it. Kylo was wearing her down, she could tell. Could feel the rising triumph in him as he sensed his impending victory.

Running for the high ground, Rey nearly lost her footing as the ground heaved violently beneath her feet, and the snowy forest floor in front of her gave way to a glowing ravine too wide to jump. She turned, barely managing to block the next blow and keep her footing.

Kylo Ren executed a complicated series of moves which nearly made her lose her grip on her lightsaber, and then locked blades with her right before her face. It took every ounce of her strength to keep him from pushing her into the yawning chasm behind her.

This close, she could see the sweat pouring down his face, illuminated in the harsh blue and red light. His expression was no longer filled with rage, but rather determination and... fascination?

"You need a teacher!" he shouted over the sound of the forest collapsing around them, over the screech of their crossed blades. "I can show you the ways of the Force!"

She blinked, shocked by his offer. He let up on his pressure, but only enough to let her consider his proposal seriously.

"The Force?" Closing her eyes, she tried to think. She had beaten him before, was that the Force she had used? She reached for it now, for that piece of him she had stolen, and was surprised to find that it led her straight to _him_. Without a second thought, she found herself within Kylo's mind, caught up in a swirling maelstrom of panic, pain, exhausion and desperation. Somewhere, as if far away, she could hear someone screaming, a raw emotional sound. But who?

Opening her eyes once more, Rey could see the shock on his face as he realized what she had done. What she _could_ do. Without further hesitation, she delved into his mind, looking for what she needed. There--the proper move to break this hold. Duck beneath the crossed blades, and sweep at the ankles in passing.

Before she even had time to process the idea, her body had moved to obey. He whipped around, and she knew that with his advantage of height and slight elevation he would go for a downward stroke to maximize the power behind it. Rather than block it directly, she knocked it aside, and in the moment he was open jabbed deftly toward his shoulder.

The blow landed, searing a hole in his robes. He cried out and backed off, and with a sickening lurch she recognized the smell of burnt flesh. But he recovered quickly, trying to attack to cover his weakness.

It was almost too easy to counter him. She could see what he would do before he did, could picture the perfect response before the attack even came. Within moments she scored another hit, this time to his leg, nearly severing one of the panels of his robe.

Kylo limped away, and now she could feel fear rolling off him in waves. He could die here, he realized. And she reveled in that power. _Kill him_ , a voice whispered in her mind. _He deserves it after what he did to you, to Han Solo, to Finn. Kill him._

Distracted, she hesitated too long as Kylo stumbled to his feet once more. She had to admit, she was impressed with his perseverence. But it was time to end this. When next he swung at her, she barely deflected it, moving past his defense to grab the wrist which held his blade. He mirrored her move, making it impossible for her to strike him with her blade, but that wasn't the point.

Pulling in a way that would have required his injured left abdominal muscles to counter, she drove the flickering red blade into the ground. It hissed, snow sublimating into hot steam all around them, a terrible grating sound filling the air. He screamed his defiance, as if sensing what she was doing. The lightsaber was unstable, and this much stress could destroy it.

Desperate to save his lightsaber - Rey suddenly realized he had actually built the tempermental blade himself - Kylo released her wrist and tried to pull with both hands. Her blade now free, she slashed downwards to neatly slice one of the crossguard emitters off, disabling the red blade entirely. Conscious that even without his blade Kylo was still a dangerous opponent, she swung the blade back up into a defensive posture.

But all of Kylo's focus had been on his lightsaber, and the defensive swing caught him unawares. It sliced a nasty groove across his face, starting on his right jaw and ending above his left eye. He fell backwards, collapsing in the snow with a scream of anguish.

Rey stood, panting for breath, shocked at her victory. Rage and hunger for vengeance washed through her, and she could no longer tell if they were bleeding off of Kylo's wounded mind or her own. _Kill him_! The voice returned, insistent. _End his pathetic life while you still can!_

She frowned. That was not her, but it wasn't Kylo either. She was still tempted to comply, but before she could act, the ground shook once more. The few feet of snow between them collapsed into another crack, widening into a gap too large to jump in a matter of moments. Rey felt a twinge of regret, realizing that even if she hadn't killed him herself, leaving him here, wounded and alone, would likely be the end of him anyway.

The thought reminded her of Finn, though, and she turned, running to find him, leaving all thoughts of Kylo Ren behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't think it was really necessary, for the scope of this story, to write the entirety of what happens between these two scenes. (Plus nothing on earth could motivate me to write the Torn Apart scene. *cries*)
> 
> Next chapter will begin the original stuff that happens AFTER the movie! I hope you like it!


	3. Warning Signs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Master Luke realizes that Rey has been exposed to Kylo Ren's mind reading, he teaches her a meditation technique in the hopes that it will repair the damage.
> 
> But the process may be more than Rey can handle....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up, this chapter definitely earns the explicit rating and most of the tags. Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.

Master Luke sighed heavily at the angle of the branch Rey held. "No, not like that." He moved to stand beside her, imitating the proper stance with his own stick.

"Like this?" Rey shifted her grip a little, and leaned forward.

The old jedi shook his head. "No. I wish we had a training unit, it would come naturally if you could just _feel_ it. I can't really explain it. It's like..." he made a frustrated gesture.

Curious, Rey lowered her would-be lightsaber. "Well, maybe you can show me how it feels," she reasoned.

Luke turned, considering her anew. "How?"

Rey licked her lips, trying to remember. She held out a hand, and reached toward him. She got a brief impression, a swirling maelstrom of greif and power, barely contained by the rigors of faith, when Luke grabbed her hand, shattering the connection.

" _Who taught you that_?" he growled. His face was a mask of fear.

"I--" she blinked, her mouth gone dry. She had never seen Master Luke this upset. "No one taught me. I... someone did it to me, and I just... figured it out."

Her teacher dropped her hand, his face falling. He turned, walking a few steps away from her. After a moment he let out a long, shaky breath. "Kylo Ren," he breathed. It was not a question.

"He's... your nephew, right?" she asked hesitently.

"No," Luke turned. "Ben Solo was my nephew. He was my aprentice. An exceptionally gifted one, at that. Kylo Ren killed him."

Rey shook her head. "I don't understand... Han..."

Luke's face softened, and they shared a quiet moment of rememberence.

"Han thought he could bring Ben back. Like I brought back my father from the clutches of Darth Vader," Luke explained.

"Darth Vader?" Rey's eyes widened. "He was..."

"My father, yes." Luke sighed.

"Kylo Ren... mentioned him," Rey said.

Luke shook his head with a humorless smile. "Yes. Ben had an unhealthy obsession with his grandfather. They're very similar. Too much, his mother worried. But the image he formed was not the truth, but rather a story Snoke spun for him. When I tried to tell him the truth, that Anakin gave in to the darkness to try and save his family, and turned his back on it for the same reason...."

Rey watched as Luke stared off in the distance. She didn't need to look into his mind to know that the scene played out for him once more.

"He didn't believe you," she guessed.

"No." After a moment, Luke came back to the present. "Rey, when Kylo invaded your mind, did he find what he was looking for?"

Rey shook her head. "He saw some other things, but what he wanted was the map to find you. He couldn't get to it, though. I don't know why."

Luke nodded. "The Force protected you. It doesn't want this place found either. But what he did was very dangerous, Rey. It can cause damage, not only to the victim, but also to the person doing it. If you're not careful, the damage can be permanent."

Rey thought about that. She was afraid to admit to him what she had done, how she had looked back into Kylo's mind. Did that mean that she had used the dark side of the Force?

She swallowed thickly. "How can you tell if the damage is permanent?"

Luke sighed and tossed his branch to the ground. Beckoning to her, he ducked inside the small stone hut they used for meditation. Dropping her own stick, she followed, settling on the ground in the posture he had taught her.

"I can teach you a meditation that will allow you to explore the recesses of your own mind. It's most effective just before you fall asleep, as your subconcious mind is much more powerful and open to the Force than your conscious mind. In addition, once your subconscious sees an injury, it will fix it without instruction, if it is not too great a wound. But it may give you strange dreams. Nightmares." Luke explained.

Rey shrugged easily. "I can handle nightmares."

\--

It was true that life on Jakku had given her more than enough nightmare fuel to last a lifetime, but nothing could have prepared her for this.

When evening came, she had retreated to her own little hut, banking the fire against the cold windy nights. Master Luke had said that it was important for her training that she have her own space, and the privacy to consider his teachings in solitude. She thought perhaps he wanted a little privacy of his own, considering he'd spent who knew how many years isolated on this island. They were neither of them terribly social creatures.

Finished with her preparations for the night, she sat on her pallet of blankets and began the exercise Luke had taught her. She breathed deeply and sunk into a trance. This much, at least, she excelled at. Master Luke had been startled by her ability to empty her mind, but she had long experience in the deserts of Jakku.

Carefully, she reached into her own mind. She called up the memory of the interrogation, trying to remember small details. The dry, cold air, almost like the recycled air of a ship but with a brisk, astringent tang of resin. The cool metal of the table she'd been strapped to. The tightness of the restraints around her wrists and ankles.

It was all too easy to imagine.

Opening her eyes, she found herself in the room, alone. It was startling, and she gave herself a moment to adjust. A few deep gulps of the thin air, and her shivering subsided. She imagined the restraints on her wrists releasing, and they gave way. She hugged herself, staring around the room. It had worked - every detail was preserved. She could almost swear she was back Starkiller Base.

But one thing was missing, and as much as she dreaded it, it was necessary if this was going to work. She needed to run through everything that had happened, and to do that she needed Kylo Ren.

As if summoned by her thought, he appeared before her. But instead of the well-ordered masked figure that had knelt at her feet, it was the image she had last seen of him. Robes torn and burnt, hair touseled by wind and fighting, and a deep gash across his face where her lightsaber had cut him.

"You," he breathed. The single word was laced with a world of rage and disbelief.

Rey frowned. Not only was the image wrong, he wasn't acting the way he had in her memories. Kylo Ren had been concillatory, manipulative. In that room he hadn't shown her the slightest hint of anger, although she'd given him more than enough reason to.

Now, he looked around the room as if seeing it for the first time. His gaze came to rest on her free arms, and he scowled. Rey felt her hands jerk back down to the platform, the restraints clicking tightly closed. What was going on? How had he taken control of the situation so quickly?

Kylo took two steps forward and leaned over her, bracing his hands on either side of her shoulders. "What are you doing here?" He demanded.

"I..." Rey choked. She couldn't remember why she had come. "None of your business!" She shouted at last.

His eyebrows rose. "None of my business? That's rich." He grabbed her chin roughly, studying her face. "Stars, you are so beautiful," he murmured.

Rey's eyes shot wide. What did he just say?

Kylo's gaze swept down from her face. "I should have taken you when I had the chance," he complained.

That made Rey's blood run cold, but it also sparked her curiosity. "Why didn't you?"

The dark Jedi stood back up, considering her question. "Believe it or not, it's against First Order prisoner handling procedure," he said evenly. "I looked it up, afterwards."

"That does surprise me," Rey said bitterly.

Kylo shrugged, and began to pace around Rey's trapped form. "It would seem that it creates unreliable results in the subject's confession. What I do is tolerated because no such errors result."

Rey swallowed thickly. She knew now that mind reading was a personal violation on the highest order, but hadn't considered it in that light before.

Coming back around, he faced her once more, rubbing his chin contemplatively. "And it's not something I've ever done, honestly. I've never wanted someone quite the way I want you."

That brought a frown to her face. What in the galaxy was he going on about?

"Of course, I also naively thought I could convince you to come to me willingly, which would have been preferable. So much talent is wasted on a blind old fool like my old Master." Coming to stand at her side, he fiddled with the trailing end of her guaze wrap.

"Master Luke is a better teacher than you could ever be," she ground out.

A flicker of rage passed over Kylo's face, quickly replaced by exasperation. "Let me guess, he's got you doing saber drills and hours of meditation. Nothing really _useful_. Nothing exiting."

Rey scowled. It was true that she had been a little dissapointed by how mundane her training had seemed, but unlike _some_ people she valued hard work and patience for their own sake.

"It matters little," he sighed. "Eventually I will find you, and then your real training will begin."

"I'll never give in to you," she said. Her voice was quiet, but it held all the resolve she could muster.

The same half-smile tugged at his lips, the first time he had reflected her memory. "We'll see." With a gesture of his hand, the platform began to tilt back.

Rey glanced to either side, tugging against the restraints. She'd been able to undo them before, why wouldn't they open now? "What are you doing?" She tried to squirm away from him as he deftly flipped the catch on her belt.

"Well as long as you're here," he murmured close to her ear, "I might as well indulge myself."

Squeezing her eyes shut tight, Rey tried to concentrate. _This isn't real_ , she remembered. _I can wake up at any time_. But it felt real. She could feel the belt as he slid it out from under her, hear it as it clattered to the floor. Could she have imagined the brush of his leather gloves as he pushed aside the gauze wrapping? She remembered the sensation of his breath on her throat, but the touch of his lips against her collarbone was startlingly new.

Eyes flying wide, she looked down just in time for him to glance up, their faces as close as when they had fought. After a moment's hesitation, he kissed her mouth, his full lips remarkably soft and gentle. The kiss was disarmingly tender, and he cupped the back of her head with one hand, the other braced against the platform.

Despite her fear and anger, Rey found herself returning the kiss. In that simple contact there was a rush of need, a heady mixture of desperate insecurity and raging desire. Was this what he was feeling?

When he pulled away, she considered him anew. He looked as startled as she did, and he bit his lip, uncertain.

"Don't do this," she whispered. "Please."

"Why not?" he murmured back. His smile was cocky, but the tone revealed he meant the question sincerely.

How was she supposed to answer that? She struggled to find an answer that would mean something to him. "Because it means the only way you could get it is if I'm tied down," she bit out.

His eyes narrowed. "You're trying to trick me into releasing you."

She shrugged as much as her restraints would let her. "It's still true," she pointed out.

He pressed his lips together, his breathing speeding up as her goad worked. He stood up, and paced a few steps away from her, whirling to consider her from a distance. "Fine, then!" With a gesture of his hand, the platform she was secured to dissapeared.

She fell through empty space, crying out before landing on something soft. The room around her had changed, charcoal-dark stone walls barely lit by a glowing shelf just below the ceiling. The air smelled of sulfur and carbon, and it was warm. She felt as though she were in the belly of a volcano. She was in an alcove, filled with soft bedding.

Before she could even fully register his presence, Kylo strode to the bed and straddled her in one fluid movement.

"Is that better?" he growled, wrapping a hand around her throat. "Is this _fair_?"

She gasped as he bent down to kiss her again, this time with no little force. Freed, her hands scrabbled for purchase in his dark robes, pushing at him ineffectually. The hand around her throat released, drifting lower to take hold of her breast. Rey whimpered, arching her back at the touch.

Cursing, Kylo backed off, but only long enough to rip off his gloves and toss them aside. His hands were large, she noticed, with long tapering fingers, and when he grabbed her once more  they were alarmingly warm through the thin fabric of her tunic and bindings.

"It's not enough," Kylo hissed, more to himself. Yanking the loose tunic up, he revealed the tightly wrapped bindings and groaned in disappointment.

"What?" She scowled, cheeks heated. Not that she cared what he thought, but it wasn't exactly the sort of response a girl appreciated anyway.

"Why do you wear these?" he demanded. He worked the tunic the rest of the way up, and to her surprise she let him pull it up over her head.

She glanced down at the revealed bindings. "They're practical. Breasts get in the way, not that you would know," she pointed out.

He seemed unimpressed. "If this is my fantasy, I would have you wearing something lacy and delicate," he whined. "Or better yet, nothing at all."

Rey frowned, puzzled. What did he mean, if this was his fantasy? "Well it's not, and this is what I wear. Deal with it."

The corner of his mouth twitched, and he leaned close to her face. "Oh, I intend to, Rey."

From underneath the pillow her head rested on, he withdrew a small, wicked looking knife. With a single gesture he neatly slit the bindings from bottom to top, instantly exposing her.

Rey didn't care. Her focus was on the knife, and the advantage it could give her. She grabbed for it, and there was a moment of struggle. She almost had it, prizing it from his grip, but he knocked it out of her hand and sent it spinning across the room. Grabbing both wrists, he pinned them to the bed.

They stared at eachother, out of breath and panting. After a moment Kylo's gaze drifted lower, to watch her exposed chest as she gasped for air. He swore softly, and released her arms. She covered herself, but the damage was already done. He sat back, still staring at her crossed arms, staring through them, at the scar.

"What is that?" he asked, his voice barely a whisper.

"What does it look like?" she snapped irritably.

"A brand," he answered frankly. Rey didn't bother to confirm his guess. "What happened?"

"When I was fourteen I ran away from Unkar Plutt," she began. Why was she telling him this? The words came out of her mouth without thought. "A skin trader picked me up out by Kelvin Ridge. I hadn't even been free for two cycles."

"Skin trader?" Kylo frowned.

"Slaver," she translated. He clenched his fists in his robes, suddenly angry.

"He knocked me out, and I woke up when he was burning me. Said I was his now, and until he sold me he could do what he liked. And then..." she looked away from Kylo as the memory played out in her mind. Vividly.

Kylo recoiled, scrambling away from her and falling to the floor. He collected himself, standing, cursing, running a hand over his scarred face and up through his tousled black curls.

Rey scowled at him, and sat up, trying to catch sight of the knife, judging where it should have landed. There, just under the edge of a rough-hewn cabinet set in the wall. She had to keep him distracted, though.

"Why so shocked?" she mocked him. "It's what you're doing to me."

"No!" he shouted.

She raised an eyebrow dropped her arms. His gazed flicked instantly down, and she could see color raise on his cheeks before he whirled away, pounding his fists on the wall.

"I don't know what I'm doing, Rey," he growled.

"Well, that much is obvious," she taunted, carefully sliding out of the bed, not daring to take her eyes off his back.

His answer was to pound on the wall again. "Damn it, Rey. Do you have any idea what you've done to me? I can't stop thinking about you. I can't get _away_ from you. Every time I close my eyes, you're there. I can't even _sleep_ without seeing you."

Rey inched her way towards the knife, closing her fingers around it silently.

" _You are in my very soul, tormenting me_." The words sounded strange, almost as if he were wearing his mask. Or as if it were someone else speaking them.

At last he turned, and she had only a moment to hide the knife in a fold of the sheets.

"How did you get free from the slaver?" he asked suddenly.

She ground her teeth together, noticing that his gaze was on her hand, where it rested above the knife. "I slit his throat while he was sleeping," she answered plainly.

Kylo fell to his knees before her. "Do it," he told her. "End my suffering. Please."

She picked up the knife, studying it in the dim light. _This isn't real_ , she reminded herself. _If you kill him now it won't really hurt him. Maybe this is how I can heal myself?_ Or maybe he was testing her.

Rey pressed the edge of his knife to his throat. He swallowed, making his adam's apple bob, but he did not move away. His dark eyes bored into hers, begging, pleading with her. _Do it. Do it now_.

"No," she breathed, and lowered the knife. A sob escaped his throat, and he shoved her back on the bed roughly. This time, when he covered her body with his, she did not push him away.

His mouth took hers, his tongue pushing into her uninvited. The knife in her hand, she didn't resist. His hands were rough, callouses scraping against the skin of her breasts, her hips. He yanked the drawstring of her pants undone and shoved them down. She lay, unmoving, as he unclasped his robes and pushed his own pants out of the way.

And then he was pressing into her, and she gasped, tilting her hips up. He trembled above her, his black curls falling into her face. Her fingers tightened around the knife, but it was her other hand that reached up, tracing the angry red line that crossed his face.

"Rey," he groaned, and began to move within her. His thrusts were desperate, ungentle, sending jolts of sensation through her that weren't quite pain or pleasure, but somewhere in between. Laced through it were the emotions seeping off him like heat off the desert sand. Pain, longing, frustration, and a grief that made her breath catch.

He didn't last long. Just as she thought she could bear it no longer, he stiffened, his back arching hard, his features twisting, the scar pulling grotesquely. Then he collapsed with a groan, still clutching her shoulders.

They lay that way, entwined, Kylo's face buried in her neck as she stared at the knife, still clutched in her hand. Why hadn't she stopped him?

"What have you done to me, Rey?" His voice cracked on her name, and he sounded much younger, and so alone.

"I don't know," she whispered. "I don't know."

\--

Gasping, she sat up on her pallet. She lashed out with the knife - but it was her knife, the one she had fashioned from a broken droid's arm. She was gasping for air, and her whole body thrummed with the force of her vision. With a flush of embarassment, she realized that her thighs were wet with her arousal.

What the hell was that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...and yes, that was a line from Episode II. Please don't kill me for indulging a little too much in Kylo's obsession with Anakin Skywalker.


	4. What Lies Beneath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey goes to Master Luke to tell him about her disturbing dream. He advises her to rest, but when she goes back to sleep she dreams of something else....

Luke stirred the fire, frowning.

"And then he..." Rey's throat tightened on the words. "I let him. I had the knife in my hand the whole time. Why didn't I stop him?"

Her master shook his head. "I did not expect it to be that... effective the first time. Usually it's just flashes, images." His gaze was turned inward, and though she tried not to, she could feel a wave of doubt and self-loathing roll over him.

He seemed to collect himself, though, and finally looked up at her. "But you mustn't blame yourself. Your mind is trying to understand what happened to you, and reinterpreted it in a more... physical manifestation. Something you're... more familiar with."

There was a hint of a question in his last statement, carefully placed so she could ignore it if she chose. She nodded, and he placed a hand on her shoulder, consoling. "You've seen so little of the Galaxy, Rey, and yet you've seen so much more than you should have. I'm so sorry."

Rey resisted the urge to brush off his hand. "It's not your fault."

As if sensing her discomfort, he withdrew his touch. "Yes, but I'm still sorry it happened."

After a moment, she nodded once more. His sympathy was acceptable. It was hard for her to imagine that someone else would feel pain because of something she'd experienced long ago, but she was learning.

They stared into the fire for a long time, the night wind howling outside Master Luke's hut. She had gone to him immediately, told him... well, not everything. The general gist of what had happened in her dream. That he was also upset was somehow comforting, at least she wasn't overreacting.

Rey took a deep breath. "So, what should I do differently next time?"

Luke blinked at her, taken aback. "You mean to try again?"

"Well, yes," Rey glanced down at her hands. "Obviously I did something wrong, but I can tell there's something there. Something that needs healing. Should I try to attack him with the knife?"

The Jedi Master thought it over. "No. What you are seeing is not Kylo Ren. It's part of your own mind, a damaged part. To cut it out would end the pain but it wouldn't heal you. You must try to... make peace with what happened. If you see him in your dream again, try to talk to him. Or, it may be that you will have to relive the experience until it no longer disturbs you." His expression turned sour at that last thought.

She pressed her lips together. She didn't want to tell him how close she came to _enjoying_ it. The thought sickened her.

"But for now, you need to rest." Luke stood, and Rey followed him out of the hut and into the night, glancing up at the stars that peeked through the scudding clouds.

He turned, giving her what she thought was meant to be an encouraging smile. But she could feel the fear behind it, and it was tainted by the shadow of Kylo Ren. "Coruscant wasn't built in a cycle, Rey. Give yourself some time. Sleep, and wait a few days before you try again, if you're determined to."

Rey nodded. "Thank you Master Luke."

As she walked back to her own hut, she could feel him watching her. And she knew he wondered the same thing she did - would she be strong enough to face what lay ahead?

In her own hut, Rey curled up in her blankets, and tried not to think of anything. It was harder now, with the shadows of her past flickering in the dying fire. Eventually she slid off into an uneasy slumber.

\--

She was walking down a hallway. She supposed that was what it was, although she had never seen such a grand, imposing room, it seemed to have no other purpose than to lead from one place to another. Stone pillars wider and taller than the trees on Takodana lifted glittering ceilings so high she could have easily flown the Millenium Falcon through the passageway. Light floated down from windows so high they showed nothing but the fading evening sky.

There was no one in the hallway but her, although she could hear the murmur of many voices elsewhere. The whole place felt teeming with life, as if right outside the grand embossed doors were more life-forms than she had ever seen in one place.

As she stood on a narrow strip of plush carpet, the size and scale of the place slowly went from awesome to intimidating. She felt exposed, unprotected. The closest place she could compare it to was the gutted hull of the Inflictor, but there at least she had known what lay behind each panel and drift of sand.

Her instincts kicked in, and she began to look for a place to hide. Darting behind the line of pillars, she pressed her back to one. Looking to her left, she froze as she saw two figures in the shadow of another pillar, a few down from her.

But they didn't seem to notice her. In fact, they seemed to be hiding, themselves. It was a couple, she saw. The woman was beautiful, with long dark curls and an exquisite blue dress. The man she couldn't tell much about, as he faced away from Rey. The woman smiled, and the man touched her face.

Rey gasped - where his hand should have been there was a droid's arm, mechanical and inhuman. Was this Master Luke, then?

"Who are you?"

Jumping badly, Rey whirled. But the voice had apparently come from a small boy, standing behind her. He looked young, six or seven, and had messy black curls. He made her think very much of the woman behind her. She glanced to check if the boy was looking for his mother, but the couple had disappeared.

"Who are you?" The boy asked again. A pout was beginning to form on his little face.

"I... I'm Rey," she said, bemused.

"Why are you here?" He asked, in the frank way of children everywhere.

"I'm looking for a place to hide," Rey answered, without thinking. Before she could wonder why she'd told him the truth, his face lit up.

"Follow me!" He said cheerfully, and ran towards the wall. When they reached it, he placed his hand on one marbled panel after another. At last he stopped, and reaching out, grabbed her hand.

When he pressed her palm to the stone, she was surprised to feel that it was warm. A quick check of the adjoining panel confirmed that most of the stone was cool.

The boy was now running a small finger down the carving on the edge, frowning in concentration. There was a small click, and the panel sunk into the wall before lifting, revealing a series of pipes, wires, and a small console.

"An access panel?" Rey marveled.

"Yeah. Careful, the red pipe is hot." Without further instruction, the boy crawled into the open space beside the console. Without much else to do, Rey followed on hands and knees. The door slid shut behind them.

They followed the crawlspace for a while, until they came across a tall, narrow passageway. It was dusty with misuse, and littered with broken droid parts. A maintenence hallway, Rey realized.

"Up here!" The boy was already partway up a ladder built into the wall. He climbed it easily, and she was surprised to find she had a hard time keeping up.

At the top of the ladder was a hatch that led into a ventilation shaft. This they followed for a few turns, until they came to a huge lattice screen. The boy made himself comfortable, making it obvious this was their destination.

Looking down through the finely carved stone screen, Rey could make out a dark haired woman in blue standing before an assembly of some sort.

"We cannot allow infighting to destroy what we have fought so hard to build," she spoke, her voice commanding respect. "We _must_ work together to find some way of making this government last. Surely if we--"

"Senator Organa," a deep voice interrupted. A rotund figure stood to argue his point, but Rey was too surprised to hear him.

Senator Organa? Could that be the General? At this distance she couldn't get a clear look at the woman's face. But as she argued her own points, Rey could hear it, a clearer, younger version of the strong voice she had heard at D'Qar.

"That's my Mama," the boy said softly.

Rey's head whipped to face her erstwhile guide. "Your..." she glanced back through the screen, then at him again. "...what is your name?" She whispered.

"Ben," he said simply. "Ben Solo. Mama kept her last name, but gave me Daddy's."

Rey stared down at the future Kylo Ren in mild horror. He payed her almost no attention, eyes fixed on the senate floor below.

"Mama's very busy," he said. "She's trying to fix the Galaxy. I guess it's broken."

In spite of her fear, Rey's heart went out to the little boy. "Where's Ha-- your father?"

The boy shrugged. "He's on a mission. He says when I'm older I can come along. But Mama says when I'm older I'll go train with Uncle Luke. Maybe I'll do both. I want to see the whole galaxy, Rey. There's so much out there!"

Rey mirrored the boy's enthusiastic smile. "There is," she agreed.

She listened to Ben rattle on for hours, telling stories he'd heard from his father and other pilots, about the wonders of deep space and mysterious planets. He seemed desperate to tell her everything he knew, and she understood why.

Rey had heard many similar stories as a child, from pilots and traders who passed through Niima Outpost. She'd wanted nothing more than someone to share them with.

_You've been so lonely_... The voice belonged to the figure before her, but from a different time. Had the longing in his voice been... empathy? Understanding?

_Don't worry, I feel it too._

Something had passed between them, some recognition.

Ben Solo had grown up with everything she had ever wanted - a family that loved him, a galaxy of opportunities that awaited in his future, and the freedom to follow whichever one he wanted.

But he'd still been alone.

\--

This time, when Rey woke, it was to coldness. Her little fire had gone out - she hadn't gotten the knack of keeping it alive all night yet. In the chill pre-dawn, the tears that streaked her face made her shiver.

For some reason, this dream scared her more than the last. There was something about it, something she couldn't put her finger on. It meant something, but she didn't know what. But she did know one thing.

She couldn't tell Master Luke.

She couldn't tell anyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brownie points to those who recognize the couple hiding behind the pillar.


	5. If At First You Don't Succeed...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey trains with Master Luke, then decides she's ready to face the dream again.
> 
> But this time, it's a little different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads-up, this chapter delves back into dub-con and gets arguably into non-con. I've tagged it as such, but I know some people appreciate a little extra warning.
> 
> But this is literally as bad as it gets, so if you're on the fence because of it, stick around!

Saudering the last of the connections, Rey pushed the mask off her face with one gloved hand. She replaced the small access panel, clicking it in to place. With one last thorough inspection to make sure everything was airtight, she stood from the makeshift workbench.

Stripping off her gloves and mask, she grabbed the two white canes and hurried up the steps. She'd been working on the lee side of the island, and as she crested the hill a blast of wet, cold wind hit her full body. Some days the foreign environment of the First Jedi Temple seemed unbearably uncomfortable. It was always chilly and raining, the opposite of the dry sandy dunes of Jakku.

But today she found it refreshing and invigorating. "Master Luke!" She called. He was standing, staring out to sea, as he often did when not training her. "Master Luke, I've finished them!"

He turned, and gave her a small smile. Climbing the steep hillside, he met her half way in the level space they used for fighting training.

"Have you tested them yet?" He asked.

She shook her head, handing him one of the objects. She'd had the idea last week, on a particularly long comm call from Finn and Poe. They were telling her what had happened on Takedona while she had been abducted, Finn excitedly regaling her with his brief use of Luke's lightsaber.

Rey had been fascinated in particular with the Stormtrooper he had fought who carried an energy-based weapon specifically designed to counter a lightsaber. Finn explained that they were a holdover from the Clone Wars, and he'd trained with them in the past, otherwise he would have been dead meat.

From there it had been a matter of getting the specs. Poe knew some traders on Bakura who specialized in Clone War memerobelia, and offered to contact them. Sure enough, they'd had just what they needed. Rey didn't ask how Poe had paid for the information, she was too in debt to him anyway. It chafed her, at times, to have people she depended on. But she reminded herself that they depended on her too, and that wasn't so bad.

Chewy had brought the necessary parts on his latest supply run. They still hadn't convinced Master Luke to leave the temple and return to saving the galaxy, but Leia was determined to tempt him out with what she called "conveniences of the modern world." Rey kind of doubted it would work, but then the twins knew each other better than she ever would.

Now she stood holding her own modification of the design. It looked something like a toy sword, white and made of duraplast. That alone would have been a better training tool than the sticks they had used, the balance was far closer to that of an ignited lightsaber, although nothing could quite replicate that strange resistance.

But this had something else, too. With a deep breath, Rey thumbed the switch on the handle, and the duraplast crackled with electricity. She swung the sword experimentally. No resistance, but it did make a rather satisfying sound.

Luke turned his on as well, and studied it carefully, nodding. "This will do nicely," he agreed. "You have a real talent for building things, Rey."

She shrugged, trying out a few forms. "When you take a lot of things apart, it starts making sense."

"And they're non-lethal?" Luke asked dubiously.

The original design had been strong enough to knock a person unconscious, or potentially kill them if applied to the chest, depending on their species' anatomy. But she had scaled back the electromagnetic field as much as she could, while still maintaining the connection.

"Only one way to find out," she reasoned. Holding out one arm, she turned it palm-down. A burn on her forarm wouldn't hurt too bad, and they had some bacta patches if this didn't work.

Luke raised an eyebrow, reached into his robe, and threw something at her.

Reacting on instinct, she easily swiped at the flying object. Rey deflected it easily with the energy field, and it rolled a few times before stopping against a rock. She frowned at the brown, lumpy thing.

"Is that a... tuber?" She asked.

Luke laughed, and Rey's eyes went wide at the raspy sound. She certainly had never heard him laugh before, and she doubted he had in a very long time. Bending to pick the root vegetable up, he examined it closely.

"Not even a little scorched," he announced. "A safer first test, wouldn't you agree?"

She smiled, in spite of herself. They began to train in earnest, then, and she quickly learned that while the practice swords weren't lethal, the blows they delivered weren't comfortable either. The dull thwack of duraplast on her unprotected sides was always partnered with a sharp jolt of electrocution. She struggled not to get frustrated, until finally she happened to land a blow on Luke's back as he demonstrated a particularly complex turn.

He let out a startled yell, and then broke into laughter once more. Catching her breath, she wondered if Master Luke wasn't losing it. The laughter went on, and he stumbled over to a boulder and sat heavily on it.

"Are you all right?" She asked cautiously, turning off her practice sword.

He nodded, and beckoned her over, turning off his sword as well. When he had managed to stifle the laughter and wipe the tears out of his eyes, he shook his head. "When I first began my training, Master Obi-wan used a small hoverdroid to teach me lightsaber defense from blaster bolts. It fired on stun, and felt very much like these do," he gestured with the white stick. "It brought back some long forgotten memories."

"Your master was Obi-wan Kenobi?" Rey asked exitedly. "I've heard stories of him, from the Clone Wars!"

"Have you really?" Luke chuckled. "Growing up, I never heard the name Obi-wan. To me, he was just old Ben Kenobi, the crazy old wizard who lived out in the desert. Uncle Owen never liked old Ben, but I suppose he tolerated his presence, knowing he was there to protect me if Darth Vader ever discovered where his son had been hidden."

"Ben?" Rey asked softly.

Luke's smile turned sad. "Yes. Han and Leia named their son for him. I don't think Leia ever met him, although she knew he was on Tattoine, somehow, and sent him the message that got me involved in the whole mess to start with." He shook his head with a chuckle. "He and Han didn't get along so well, so I was more than a little suprised."

They sat in silence for a long moment, watching the gray clouds as they scuttled by.

"I think that's enough training for today," Luke announced. "You did well, Rey. These will be very useful."

"Thank you Master Luke," she answered automatically.

The old Jedi turned at the lack of enthusiasm in her voice. Usually she responded well to praise. "What's troubling you?" He asked.

"I think I need to try again," she said after a moment. "I'm ready to face the dream again."

Luke nodded. "I agree. Would you like me to stand vigil this time?"

She shook her head. "I have to do this alone. If I need you, I'll call out." They had been practicing using the Force to communicate over distances, in case of emergency.

"Very well," the Jedi Master said solemnly. "May the Force be with you."

\--

This time, Rey wasn't surprised to find herself in the interrogation room. She took a little longer to steady herself this time, closing her eyes and using the breathing techniques she had been learning.

_I am safe_ , she told herself. _I'm just here to talk_. Anything that happened wasn't real, it was just her mind processing the damage. It wasn't really Kylo Ren who....

"You again."

She opened her eyes to see the dark Jedi standing before her. This time, he appeared as he should, black robes pristine and helmet securely in place. Good. It was easier to deal with him this way, as a faceless symbol for the damage he had done.

Which is probably why he immediately reached up and took the mask off. "I had hoped I would see you here again," he said lightly. The scar that crossed his face was still there, but it looked paler, as if it had healed a little.

"I want to talk," she blurted out.

A slow smile curved his lips. "Ah, the irony. You're strapped to an interrogation table," he gestured to her restraints, which she hadn't bothered to try removing, "and you want to _talk_."

Rey took a deep breath, not letting herself get riled up. "Yes."

He studied her a moment. "Well, then, by all means, talk."

She opened her mouth, frowned, and then shut it again.  Master Luke had instructed her to talk to her vision of Kylo Ren, but he had never said about _what_.

Meanwhile, the dark-haired man began to walk around the room, examining it. Squinting up at the harsh light in the ceiling, he reached a cautious hand towards it.

"What are you doing?" Rey asked.

"Experimenting." He turned his hand slowly, and the light dimmed considerably. "Last time I was caught unawares, and changed the dream without thinking. This time I intend to be a little more... precise." He turned his hands, palm up, and lifted them. The temperature in the room rose to a far more comfortable level.

Rey squirmed in her restraints. She didn't like the idea that he could control the situation and she could not. Especially when he turned and looked her over with a critical eye.

At first, she thought he had lowered the temperature of the room once more. Then she squirmed again, and the brush of metal on her back sent a shock of sensation down her spine. Glancing down, she saw that while her boots, belt, and gauze wrap remained, everything beneath them had dissapeared.

Involuntarily, Rey tried to press her legs together, but the restraints on her ankles held tight. _This isn't real,_ she reminded herself. _It's just my mind processing the damage._ Why her mind had to choose _this_ avenue of processing it was beyond her understanding.

Satisfied, Kylo stepped towards her and leaned menacingly over the platform. "You're not talking," he pointed out.

Forcing her breathing to slow, she regarded him levelly. "What do you want to talk about?" It sounded lame, even to her.

The corner of his mouth twitched. "I'm not here to talk, Rey." His heated gaze was focused on her lips, and he licked his own contemplatively. He seemed to be toying with her, waiting for something.

"Then why are you here?" Her voice shook. He shifted, and a panel of his robe drifted down to brush the inside of her leg.

The grin that stretched his lips was frightening. "To take whatever I want." And he claimed her mouth with his own, pressing their bodies together.

He was infuriatingly, terrifyingly gentle. One leather-clad hand found the unsupported back of her neck and applied reassuring pressure. The other drifted over a shoulder, and then dipped beneath her gauze wrap to cup the curve of one breast. After a moment, the glove vanished, and her skin tingled at the rough callouses on his bare palm.

"Why?" She demanded breathlessly as soon as she was able. He left her lips to explore the expanse of her neck, placing a few kisses down the side before licking upwards in one long stroke.

"I told you before," he murmured, breath hot against her ear. "I can't stop thinking about you. All day the memory of you haunts me, and most nights I can't sleep with wanting you. It's only in this dream that I can indulge in my desires."

Rey frowned. No one - _no one_ had ever spoken like that to her before. How - and why - would her mind conjure such a thing? Even more unsettling were the sensations he was eliciting from her body. Kissing his way down her neck and chest, he brushed aside her wrap just enough to expose one pink nipple, which he quickly took into his mouth.

Crying out in surprise, she arched hard against him, pressing away from the table as much as her restraints would allow. Kylo groaned, and slipped an arm behind her, clasping her tightly to him for a moment.

"You are so sweet, Rey," he murmured against her sensitive skin. "I want to taste all of you." He tugged the wrap back into place, he slid his hands down over her hips, and then carefully knelt before her.

"What are you doing?" Rey asked once more, her voice more than a little panicked.

Kylo gave her an amused glance, sliding the trailing end of her wrap aside and placing a deliberate kiss on the inside of her thigh. "Tasting you," he explained, his tongue flicking out to lick her skin breifly.

"Wait," she said breathlessly, as he moved inward, brushing his nose against the dark curls that grew there. "Don't--"

Before she could finish her thought, his tongue darted out once more, and the spot he found was much, _much_ more sensitive. An involuntary, strangled sound escaped her throat, and he hummed appreciatively. His voice did strange things to her, so close to her center.

Squeezing her eyes shut, Rey tucked her head to the side as he continued to lick, at first with light flicks and then with more pressure. It made her see stars behind her eyelids, and she gasped, pulling against her restraints.

"Relax," Kylo paused to say. His lips moved against her slick skin, and she shuddered. "You'll like this, I promise."

Rey tried her best to hold still, to be silent. But the things he was doing to her.... She'd never felt anything like it. Jolts of pleasure flashed through her legs, which shook in the restraints. A roiling mass of heat and pressure began to build low in her stomach, and she moaned helplessly.

In response, Kylo redoubled his efforts, his tongue plunging deep into her folds, and then swirling around the swollen bundle of nerves. She cried out, hips bucking involuntarily, and he pressed her harder to the platform with a hand splayed across her stomach.

The pressure built within her to an intolerable level. "S-stop..." she gasped.

He paused, as if considering her request. But with his free hand he trailed a finger over her skin, deliberately avoiding the most sensitive spot as he watched her face.

She whimpered, unable to meet his piercing, demanding gaze.

"I think not," he decided, and lowered his head once more. But this time, he touched her as well, stroking the folds slowly, carefully, before pressing one finger deep inside her.

"Ah!" She jerked against her restraints, trying to escape the invasion. "Please," she begged. "I can't. K-kylo, please...." Rey wasn't sure if she was asking him to stop or go on.

He brushed something within her, and a wash of fire ignited from his touch. Every muscle in her body seized up, and she cried out as more pleasure than she could have imagined detonated like a pocket nova inside her.

It seemed to last forever, but eventually she came to her senses. Kylo was watching her, fascinated. Her heart was pounding, she was gasping for breath, and the muscles in her legs were still twitching. She felt as if she'd just been running for her life. She felt _amazing_.

"What..." she gasped, then stopped herself.

But it was too late. Kylo's eyebrows shot upwards, and as he stood, he started to chuckle. The chuckle developed into a laugh, and he clutched his injured side with the force of it.

Rey scowled at him, feeling a flush heat her cheeks and neck. How dare he laugh at her!

Kylo, as if sensing her anger, stifled his laughter and wiped a hand over his mouth, cleaning away the results of his earlier efforts. "Oh Rey. You are so delightfully, improbably innocent. I had forgotten." As he calmed, his gaze turned speculative, and he nodded to himself. "Yes. You will be perfect."

"What are you talking about?" She narrowed her eyes at him.

He smiled, and unclasped his robes, shrugging out of them. He began to unbutton the tunic beneath as he spoke. "Can't you see, Rey? You represent my very greatest temptation: the pull to the light." Slipping off the tunic, he pulled at the dark protective layer beneath.

Rey had a moment of clarity, and wondered why he was bothering to actually undress. Why didn't he just make his clothes disappear, as he had done with hers, and his gloves?

Pulling the shirt over his head, he revealed the pale, muscular expanse of his chest and torso. It bore an impressive collection of scars, and her mouth went dry at the record of so much pain written in his skin. The worst was the bowcaster shot in his side - a chunk of flesh was actually missing, the skin around it puckered and raw. Next to that, the slash she had carved across his face looked like a mere scratch.

He paused to let her look. His expression was unreadable. Did he want her pity? Did he expect her to find him attractive? Or intimidating? She felt a little of each, an unstable mixture that turned her stomach.

"You see," he stepped toward her, removing his belt. "If I can _take_ you, conquer you, twist you into something dark and beautiful.... Then I will have truly mastered the Dark Side."

"You're still afraid," Rey murmured.

Kylo's hands paused on the clasp of his pants. "What did you say?" He growled.

Rey shook her head slowly. "I couldn't understand before, but now... I get it. You keep doing these horrible things because you think, somehow, that it will prove to yourself that you really are evil. That you're as strong in the Dark Side as Darth Vader. That's why you killed your father!"

Kylo's hand shot to her neck. "Silence." He ground out. "Don't sully his name with your stupidity."

But Rey just smiled. "It didn't work did it? You thought if you killed Han, you wouldn't feel the pull to the light anymore. But here I am, and you still can't resist it."

"SILENCE!" Kylo roared. His hand clenched around her throat, but she barely even felt it.

"You can't hurt me," she realized. "Not unless I let you." With less than a thought, the restraints snapped open, and she she pushed herself off the table.

Kylo backed away, his eyes wide. "How? Why?"

Rey's clothes rematerialized around her, and she felt strong. "Because this is _my_ dream, and _you have no power over me here._ " A rush of power flowed from her, like the blasting wind of a sandstorm.

Hands raised to protect himself, Kylo turned and ran.

\--

Rey sat up, short of breath and sweating. Her body ached, and her hand ghosted to the epicenter of her longing, tucked between her legs. Oh, to feel that release again....

But then she paused. She sensed, somehow, that giving into this desire was not the way of the Jedi. It would be an act of passion, and passion was one path to the Dark Side. At least, that's what Master Luke had said.

The thought of Master Luke was enough to douse whatever heat was left in her body. She collapsed back on her pallet, and ran over what had just happened in her head. She had made progress, she decided. It wasn't over, but she'd managed to take control of the situation. She was confident, given enough time to rest, that she would be up to the challenge next time.

Satisfied, she turned to burrow into her blankets and slipped easily into a warm, dreamless sleep.

\--

Halfway across the galaxy, Kylo Ren sat bolt upright in his sleeping alcove. His cock was painfully stiff, aching where it pressed against his belly. Cursing, he yanked the drawstring of his pants loose and shoved one hand inside. Groaning as he grasped himself and started stroking, he lay back on the bed and remembered the dream.

She had come to him again, as he had hoped against reason that she might. His long experience with the force had told him from the start that this was no ordinary dream. But now, as he recalled her words, he had to wonder.

_Because this is_ my _dream, and you have no power over me here!_

_Her_ dream, was it? Could it be possible that she was having the dream as well? A wash of shame and lust rolled over him as he realized what that would mean. That she would have experienced all of the things he had done to her, unaware that there were any consequences.

The memory was enough to push him over the edge, and he spilled into his hand with a groan.

_This is definitely worth investigating_... he smiled to himself in the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, that wasn't a Labyrinth reference. I don't know what you're talking about! *puts fingers in ears* Lalalala! I can't hear you!
> 
> Also, my inspiration for Rey's modified outfit:  
> https://luckyinksblog.wordpress.com/2015/12/30/star-wars-pin-ups/  
> (It's the 5th one down)
> 
> So winter break is over and I go back to work tomorrow! Not sure when I'll be able to post again, but I thought I'd leave you this nice long chapter to hold you over until then. But don't worry, this story is starting to eat a hole in my brain, there's definitely going to be more!


	6. Like a Stone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo seeks to enter the dream by traveling to Rey's past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title borrowed from the Audioslave song by the same name, which partially inspired this part of the story.

Kylo Ren stared at the abandoned AT-AT walker. It couldn't be. There was no way that this was someone's _home_ , much less a small human girl's. But the tug from his senses was insistent, and it matched the description he had bullied out of the disgusting trader who lorded it over the nearby outpost.

He walked around the broken-down transport, questioning his decision to return to Jakku for the thousandth time. He hadn't told Snoke where he was going - hadn't told anyone. But his position within the First Order was such that, when he had announced to the Finalizer's quartermaster that he would be taking one of the long-range TIE fighters for a mission, no questions were asked.

He doubted even General Hux would bring it up to Snoke, but he did worry if Snoke should ask the General where Kylo had gone. He didn't expect to be gone long, but lately Snoke had kept him on an irritatingly short leash.

On the underbelly of the AT-AT Kylo spotted a panel of sand-scoured metal that did not match the rest of the wreck. Sand had drifted against it, but he could pry it back from the cabin far enough to see that it was a makeshift door, covering a sizeable breach. He considered carving his own door with his lightsaber, but there was something almost sacred about the little hovel.

Complaining about the sand and the heat and the stupidity of such a place being anyone's home, he used his hands to dig out the panel. Exhausted and overheated, he finally managed to wedge it open far enough to squeeze inside, a small avalanche of sand following him in.

The inside wasn't much better than he had expected. The angle of the fallen walker meant everything was at a slight tilt, and everything of value had been scavenged from the interior. It seemed no one had found the bolthole in the months since Rey had left with FN-2187 aboard the Millenium Falcon, though. There was a fine patina of dust over everything, and there was a patched-together computer system that would have been instantly snatched by any of the other scavengers on this desolate world.

But what really struck Kylo was the walls. He had glimpsed, during Rey's interrogation on Starkiller Base, her daily habit of scratching a tally on the wall. Every day, another mark. It was a common habit of prisoners, he knew, and had guessed she had seen her time on Jakku as an inprisonment of sorts, one which would end in a definable amount of time. Rey, he knew, was waiting for something.

The scratches on the wall, though, made his mind reel. Two sides of the interior were covered, a third nearly so. They seemed innumerable at first, but with a few presses of a button or two, he managed to get his mask's technical readout to recognize them. It couldn't promise an accurate count, but estimated somewhere between four and five _thousand_.

He sat on the floor, feeling small. Stars above, no wonder she felt so lonely. She'd spent over a decade in this place. How young had she been when she was left here? A small child, far younger than he had been when his parents had given up and dumped him in Uncle Luke's custody.

As the overwhelming revelation passed, he realized he had made the right choice to come here. She had spent so much time here, the place had become infused with her essence, her presence in the Force. Kylo could feel the lonliness, but also the strength, the hope, the still, small pond of self-contained strength that was Rey. He pulled his legs up under his body, settling into a meditative stance he had not used in many years.  

Meditation was not something Kylo excelled at. Before he had joined the Knights of Ren, he had lacked the detachment necessary for a Jedi to relax into an empty state. His feelings were too strong, too insistant, for him to let go. The techniques Snoke taught him didn't work much better. The Sith way was to find the eye of the storm, the calm, focused center of that hurricane of rage and passion that fed their connection to the Force.

But Kylo had no focus, no center to balance himself on. He _was_ the rage, and his passions came and went like lightning.

He glanced around the tiny room for inspiration. There was a dried desert flower, a small hand-sewn doll, and a worn X-wing helmet. The last item caused a flare of pain in him, and he grabbed onto it like a lifeline. He focused on the regret, on the knowledge of all the deaths he had caused, and felt the abyss open up beneath him.

Outside, the storm began to rage. Outside, the winds howled and lightening cracked the sky, sand roared as it pounded the side of the AT-AT walker. Inside, Kylo found refuge, borrowing from the calm echoes of Rey's presence. He reached for her, with everything he had. But would it be enough?

Suddenly, the door was wrenched open, and a swathed and goggled figure slipped nimbly inside, pulling it shut behind. A blanket set near the door was snatched up, and sealed over the fissure in the metal with ship-grade magnets. It wasn't until that was done that the figure turned and saw Kylo.

The goggles met the mask and froze.

After a moment, gloved hands removed goggles and wrap, exposing the face of Rey. "What are you doing here?" she asked, irritated.

Kylo let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. _It worked!_

He must have tried to initiate the connection between them a hundred times, asleep and awake, and had gotten nothing for his efforts. Although he couldn't pinpoint the exact moment that the dream had started, he doubted that she'd just _happened_ to return to Jakku at the same time as him.

Maybe.

_The Force works in mysterious ways_ , the memory of his uncle's voice intoned.

Rey didn't bother to hold his stare, hurrying to cover the other small holes and crevices in the AT-AT with other blankets and magnets. This also blocked all the light, and in the darkness she reached with unerring confidence to light an electric lantern that hung from the wall above them.

"You don't want to kill me," Kylo realized. Why bother sealing the place up, otherwise?

Rolling her eyes, Rey sat on the floor and sighed. She was as far away as she could get, but that was still close enough that he could reach out and touch her without getting up.

"This storm could last two hours or two days," she explained. "As tempting as the idea is, I don't fancy spending two days cooped up with your rotting carcass."

"Thanks," Kylo drawled.

They stared at each other for a very long, awkward moment.

"So are you planning on wearing that tin can the whole time? You must be roasting," she teased, the ghost of a smile on her lips.

He was hot. The storm had brought no relief, and the little space promised to grow only more stifling as time went on. With a silent reminder to himself that Rey was far more intimidated by his true face than the helm, he relented and pulled it off.

Kylo wasn't sure what reaction he was expecting, but it wasn't the supressed giggles that escaped despite her best effort.

"What?" He frowned.

"Your _hair_ ," she squeaked.

Running a gloved hand through his curls, he could feel the crackle of static eletricity. The sand outside had ionized the air, he realized. He could imagine what he looked like, and glanced at his helmet, wondering if he could preserve his dignity by putting it back on.

"Damage is done now," Rey answered his unspoken question. "No point in hiding, fuzz-ball."

Kylo felt a jolt of pain lance through his heart. Fuzz-ball was precisely what his father had called him, when, as a child, his unruly hair had reached particularly amusing heights.

The smile disappeared from Rey's face, and he guessed she must have felt some echo of the memory as well. They fell into uncomfortable silence once more.

A particularly loud clap of thunder sounded close outside their shelter, and while Rey didn't exactly jump it obviously unsettled her. "You must be thirsty," she said suddenly. "I have a small stash of water. We'll have to ration it, to be safe, but you can have some."

Kylo raised an eyebrow. "That's... very gracious of you," he fell back on his old court manners, unsure why she was extending such kindness towards him.

"It's... behind you." She gestured awkwardly.

Turning, Kylo examined the walls and floor, but found nowhere that such a thing could be stored.

Sighing heavily, Rey leaned forward, then half-crawled over him. Her body was stretched over his as she lifted a tattered rug, and dug into the sand below, unearthing three small jugs. Two were heavy as she passed them to him, the third sloshed as if half full.

Rey frowned at this, examining the seal on the lip of the jug. It had cracked, and the water must have evaporated through the tiny gap.

At the same moment they seemed to realize that she was practically sitting in his lap. Apologizing ridiculously, she shifted her weight and scuttled out of his reach once more. He let her go, but savored the particularly favorable view of her rear this afforded him for a few moments.

"So. Two and a half. Usually I need one a day." She chewed at one thumb, thinking.

"The storm will pass soon," Kylo said reassuringly. He didn't know why he needed to comfort her, but it seemed vital that he ease the crease that formed between her eyebrows.

Rey leveled a sardonic glare at him. "How long have you been on Jakku?" She asked.

He knew she meant it as a challenge of his knowledge, but he just shrugged. "Call it prescience," he suggested.

Her suspicion was not lessened. "I don't think that's how the Force works," she said slowly.

"And how would you know? I told you before, you need a teacher," Kylo pointed out.

Brought to a stalemate, they regarded each other across the small room. Kylo looked away first, unsettled by how self-assured Rey was. They were in her domain -- in her mind, Kylo reminded himself -- and he was an intruder.

Irritated, he grabbed the jug with the broken seal, opening it and raising it to drink. He had intended to drain it, to spite her, but when the luke-warm water hit his tongue he nearly spat it out. It was brackish and horrible, and when he swallowed it left a terrible metallic taste in his mouth.

Rey gave him a wicked grin, and he cursed.

"You knew it would taste awful," he realized.

She took the jug from him, swirling the contents and smelling it with a grimace. "It doesn't taste great when it's fresh," she explained. "This is half-way evaparated. Concentrated, you could say."

Kylo wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, wishing he had anything to remove the foul taste. A number of salacious options suggested themselves, and he raked his eyes over Rey's body, but he doubted he could coerce her into such things in her own domain.

Besides, he decided that it might be more effective to go gently from here on. If his previous actions hadn't completely ruined any chance he had at winning her over, it would take a lot of work to convince her to turn to the Dark Side. He could always break her, he supposed. That was probably what Snoke had in mind when he had ordered Kylo to bring her to him.

But it wasn't how _he_ wanted to do it. Rey's strength was borne of self-containment. If he broke her, she would lose that, and be half as powerful as if she came willingly. The thought of crushing her spirit, of killing the light in those warm, brown eyes, made him feel sick. No, he would seduce the young Jedi. A smile curved his lips. He would enjoy it, too.

Rey didn't seem to pick up on the thoughts behind the smile, and returned it innocently. "Ok, that was kind of mean. Let me dig out some portions and we'll eat."

Retrieving her pack from where she'd dumped it by the door, she fished out a couple flexiplast packets. Ripping them open, she removed the small green squares and set them inside a small metal tin, before placing it upon a filament. A couple flicks of a stubborn switch, and the filament came to life, glowing and heating the pan. While the green substance began to sizzle, she opened one of the unbroken jugs and poured a small measure of water into a bowl, then added the beige powder from the other half of the packets.

Kylo watched as, like magic, the powder absorbed the liquid and began to swell, resolving into something that vaguely resembled bread. Rey switched off the filament and carefully removed the pan with a scrap of fabric, setting it on the sandy floor between them. Rummaging in a container behind her, she came up with two small, mismatched clay cups, and set them out as well. Her hand was steady as she poured two pathetically small portions of water, and then she tore the bread in half and handed one side out to him.

He took the offered item gingerly, sniffing it. She began eating immediately, watching him with curious eyes. The bread-substance had no smell, so he took a cautious bite. It didn't have much taste, either, and stuck a bit in his throat, but it was edible.

Rey ate as if she hadn't in weeks. She spaced out tiny sips of her water carefully, and fished the hot green strips from the pan with nimble fingers.

Kylo took off one glove and picked a piece up for himself. "What is this?" He scrunched up his nose at the smell, like pickled feet.

She shrugged. "Protein," was her simple answer.

"Yes, but from what? Algae? Some animal?" He turned the strip, examining the way the light from the small lantern passed through it.

"Do you really want to know?" She scoffed. "Whatever it is, it tastes a lot better hot, so I'd stop staring at it and eat it if I were you."

He popped it in his mouth, and tried to chew. It was thick, gritty, and tough, and tasted worse than the water had. He struggled not to let his distaste show in his expression, and forced himself to swallow. A memory haunted him, one of the first political dinners his mother  had dragged him to. The stares when he had spit out a salty morsel that had unexpectedly turned painfully sour. The lecture Leia had berated him with. The fight that had started between his parents, Han arguing on his behalf for once. The shouting. The next morning, his father leaving on the Falcon. Again.

Kylo wrenched himself back to the present. He cleared his throat and took a small sip of water. "You can have the rest," he said darkly.

Rey opened her mouth, obviously offended, but then paused. She seemed to sense his grief, and unable to place it, dropped the subject.

They finished the meal, the roar of the wind and thunder filling the silence between them. The lantern above them flickered occasionally. At last the bread, the dubious protein substance, and their small portions of water were gone, and they were left with only each other.

"Why did you come here?" Rey asked again, her voice soft this time.

"To find you."

She let out an exasperated sound. "Well obviously, but why find me? How did you know I would come back?"

Kylo looked around the room. "This place is a part of who you are. You may have left it, but it will never leave you. Not completely."

Rey gave him a long, assesing look. "I suppose you would know," she decided. "But that still doesn't answer--"

"I needed to see you again," he interrupted.

Her look compelled him to go on. "This... thing, between us. I need it. I need you."

She looked non-plussed. She felt... scared. "For what purpose?"

He let out a long, shaky breath. "For my sanity?" he guessed.

She laughed, scornful. "In short supply, from what I've seen."

Kylo leaned forward, rising to one knee. In the small space, it meant he towered over her, partially blocking out the light from the small lantern. In the shadow he cast, she looked a little lost. He didn't miss the subtle shift of her hand, hovering near what was undoubtedly a hidden weapon.

"You're right," he said, catching her completely off guard. "I haven't much sanity to speak of. All I want is to acheive true darkness, to live up to the legacy of my grandfather. But no matter what I do, no matter what acts I commit, something still pulls me to the light. That same something pulls me... to you."

Her eyes flicked between his, as if she could read him by looking deep enough. Why didn't she say anything?

"Rey, I--" Kylo's words were cut off as Rey grabbed the front of his robes and pulled him into a kiss. He collapsed against her, groaning into her mouth. The taste if her was sweet, intoxicating, and her lips parted to let his tongue probe deeper. 

Pressing one knee between her legs, he was rewarded as she arched against him, moaning softly. Sweet Darkness, she wanted him. He pressed his growing hardness against her center and she repeated the sound, sending chills down his back. His hands roamed over her body, and he found the clasp of her belt, slipping it open easily.

"Wait." She broke the kiss, her hands pressing against his chest.

He ignored her, sliding one hand beneath her wrap and up under her tunic to splay his fingers over the small of her back, pressing her to him tighter. He relished the way her breath hitched, how her hands tightened in his robes convulsively.

"Kylo, please..." she breathed. "Not here."

Maybe it was the hint of tears in her voice, or the way she trembled in his arms, but he stopped. With a nearly inhuman force of will, he pulled slowly away from her body, and collapsed on the sandy floor beside her sprawled form.

He watched her, trying to calm his heart and slow his breathing. He didn't even try to do anything about his throbbing cock - only one thing would solve that problem now. Especially with the way she looked: hair disheveled, lips swollen, her gauze wrap hanging halfway off one arm. Her eyes were wide, pupils dialated like two black holes that would consume him. But she looked more surprised than frightened.

"I suppose," he panted, "That the sand would get everywhere."

Rey blinked, as if not sure what to make of his joke. At last, she smiled, a wry, unsure thing. "It's a sandstorm, Kylo. It's going to do that anyway."

He shared the smile, and let his head fall back against something soft for a moment. Glancing down, he realized that what he had fallen into was essentially her bed. It was nothing more than a rug, a thin blanket, and a small pellet-filled pillow, but it's purpose was clear.

He held out a hand. "Come here."

The wariness returned instantly, and she actually moved a fraction of an inch away from him. He sighed.

"I just want to hold you, Rey. To feel you close to me. Please," he murmured. His throat felt tight.

After a long moment, she stood and extinguished the lamp. In the darkness, she came to him, fitting her small body against his tightly. Neither of them spoke, afraid to shatter the delicate balance between them. Kylo felt something swell in his chest, some painfully unfamiliar emotion. It was only just as he fell asleep that he recognized it.

_Happiness._

\--

When Kylo awoke, he was alone. Night had fallen on Jakku, he could see a patch of stars out one of the holes in the AT-AT's belly, and it was freezing cold. Sitting up, Kylo realized he was still wearing his helmet. He stood, and without looking turned on the electric lantern.

The light was weak, the charge worn down with time, but it showed what he needed to see. There was no sign that Rey had been there. No pack, the blankets and magnets stacked neatly by each opening to the desert outside. Kylo turned to one corner, knelt, lifted the rug, and dug beneath.

Three water jugs, one almost empty, with a cracked seal. Opening the jug, he held it to the intake manifold of his mask, letting the smell invade his senses. Brackish and metallic.

So it was more than a dream. There was no way he could no about the water on his own. Perhaps the Force would lead him to it, if he needed it to survive, but it could not have told him what it smelled like.

Leaving the abandoned hovel behind, Kylo made his way back to the TIE fighter through the frigid desert night. There were predators here, he could sense them, but they stayed away, wise in the Force as more sentient creatures rarely were.

What was he going to do with this knowledge? His first instinct was to tell Snoke. The Supreme Leader would know the best way to turn Rey to the Dark Side. But part of him recoiled from the idea. He could not deny what his father had said, before Kylo had killed him --

He swallowed, hard, shoving the pain _down_ \--

\-- he knew that Snoke was using him and would discard him once his usefulness was ended. He wouldn't hesitate to use Rey as a bargaining chip to prolong his loyalty, or worse, he might turn Rey against him. She had great potential, and he was not entirely sure that she wasn't already more powerful than him, although she certainly hadn't realized it yet. Given such promising material, Snoke might kill him out of hand and start over with Rey.

Kylo punched in the coordinates to the Finalizer, shaking his head. No, he wouldn't tell Snoke. If he found out, Kylo could claim that he had hoped to bring Rey to the Supreme Leader already turned, a useful and willing tool. But a secret hope, too dangerous to acknowledge, began to grow within him. Perhaps, together, they could _defeat_ Snoke for once and all.

The TIE fighter came to life around him, and Kylo Ren smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the continued Episode II references. I can't help it. 
> 
> In addition to the song, having the dream take place during a sandstorm was inspired by the Young Adult novel Star Wars: Before the Awakening, which I absolutely recommend. It made me have feels.
> 
> On the subject of feels, thank you all so much for your wonderful comments! They really make my day and feed the muse like nobody's business!


	7. Hide and Seek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey dreams of young Ben once more.

Rey half-woke in her little hut. Outside, the rain continued to pour, more water falling from the sky than she had seen in a lifetime on Jakku. A powerful thunderstorm had rolled across the ocean that afternoon, forcing Master Luke to take her training indoors.

The thunder and lighting explained why Rey had dreamed of the sandstorm, but the rest? Perhaps the hours of meditation she had done earlier had stirred up the damaged parts of her mind. Yes, that must be it.

Turning over to burrow deeper in her warm, dry blankets, Rey went back to sleep. 

\--

In her dream, the boy was running. Rey was running right behind him, but had the feeling that she wasn't so much chasing him as they were both running from the same thing. The halls of the great building seemed to go on forever, curving slightly so the end - if there was one - was out of sight. 

"Where are we going?" she gasped, already out of breath. 

"I know a place that we can hide!" Ben shouted over his shoulder. He ran around a tight corner, and when Rey followed she nearly crashed right into him.

"Oh no..." Ben's eyes were wide with fear as he stared down the hallway.

Far away, in the shadows, a tall cloaked figure hovered menacingly. Rey felt a cold lump in her stomach. Was that...?

The figure shifted, and Rey grabbed Ben's hand and pulled him back the way they had come. She took the next left available, and then a right. She had no idea where she was going but she knew if they took enough turns they would be hard to follow.

As they rounded one corner, Ben cried out, but it was a happy sound.

"I know where we are! Follow me!" He shot ahead, checking each door as he passed them. He came to one, slammed his hand on the access panel, and the door slid open with the terrible slowness of dreams.

Behind them, the figure drifted closer. Rey frowned, realizing it was not Kylo Ren, as she had expected, as the figure was much too tall and had a very pale, bald head. They squeezed through the door as soon as it had opened enough, and once through hit the panel on the other side to make it shut.

But the door kept opening, slow as ever.

"Oh no," Ben wailed. "It won't start closing until it's opened all the way!"

Rey turned, looking around the exquisitely appointed room for some escape. There was a large window, but it looked out on a dizzying drop and didn't appear to open. There were doors, but when Rey tried one it was locked.

"Please," Ben cried, pushing himself into a corner. "Help me, please!"

Rey's heart twisted, she didn't know what to do. The door had almost opened all the way, and she could see an encroaching darkness spread up the hallway, bleeding away all color and light.

She nearly jumped out of her skin as a figure brushed brusquely past her, dark hair and stiff dress fluttering in the breeze of her passage. The woman seemed to ignore both Rey and Ben and stepped directly into the doorway.

"Ambassador," she sounded unpleasantly surprised, an arch note in her delicate imperial accent. "I don't recall giving you security clearance to my private office."

The voice which responded was raspy and quiet, and Rey could barely make out "Senator" and a name which ended in "ah." Leia? Senator Organa? The general had been a senator at some point, hadn't she?

There was an exchange of stilted pleasantries, and the Senator pressed the access panel, which shut with belated alacrity.

The moment the door was closed, Ben threw himself at the Senator's legs. She bent to hug him tightly, and Rey decided that this must be Leia. With a start, she recognized her as the woman she had seen hiding behind the pillar with the man with the mechanical arm. That must have been Luke after all.

She looked up, as if surprised to see Rey there. 

"She's a friend," Ben explained, noticing the tension between them.

Rey was given a quick, assessing glance, and apparently passed the older woman's standards. She seemed to relax visibly, and with a graceful gesture led them to the couches.

"Tell us a story about Grandpa!" Ben asked cheerfully as they sat. "She tells the best stories about Grandpa," he told Rey.

The woman gave him a smile that was part exasperation, part fondness. "All right. But you have to promise to listen carefully, because it's very important that you know what he was _really_ like. Yes?"

Ben nodded. Rey couldn't help but wonder why the woman continued to use her imperial accent. It wasn't as strong as when she had spoken to the unseen Ambassador, but it wasn't anywhere near what Rey remembered of Leia's usual tones. In fact, the accent made her voice sound entirely different, softer and yet more nasal. 

"Early in the Clone Wars, Jedi Master Anakin Skywalker was leading a flight of Delta-7 Aethersprite-class light interceptors known as Gold Squadron. The Republic Fleet was ambushed by General Grevious, and in the process of defending them Anakin's ship was hit," she began. Her voice was melodious and smooth, as if she had told this story many times.

Ben's eyes got wide for a moment, and then he seemed to recall that his own existance proved the story did not end there.

"He awoke aboard the Resolute some time later to learn that while he had been rescued from the wreckage of his ship, Artoo-deetoo had not. The rescue crew didn't think an astromech droid worth the trouble of saving, you see."

"But Artoo is special!" Ben argued.

Instead of being irritated by the interruption, the Senator just smiled. "That's right. Anakin explained that he had not wiped Artoo's memory in a long time, and so he contained information that would be very dangerous in the wrong hands. That's what he told Master Obi-wan, but I think maybe Anakin was also very fond of Artoo."

This brought a grin to Ben's face.

"So he took his padawan Ahsoka and they went on a mission to rescue Artoo from the scrap haulers who had cleaned up after the battle...."

The story went on, with many twists and turns. Rey found herself fascinated by the tale, and not just by the adventure as it played out. Here and there the Senator added very personal touches - how Anakin must have felt, why he did certain things, that made Rey think she had known the man very well indeed. 

Rey felt a wash of sorrow to think of what he would one day become.

Eventually, Ben fell asleep, head pillowed on the blue silk of the lady's dress.

The two women regarded each other.

"You are a Jedi," she said as she ran a hand through Ben's curls.

"Yes," Rey said. "Well, I'm learning."

The Senator nodded. "I am many things, but I'm not a Jedi," she smiled a little, "but I think I'm glad of that. But it means that I have very little power here." She glanced down at the sleeping boy, the deep well of maternal love sparking a hint of pain and jealousy in Rey. "I try to protect him, but there's only so much I can do."

"I'll help," Rey said, without thinking.

She gave an amused smile. "I thought you might. You have a good heart, Rey. Ben needs someone like you, someone kind and strong but most of all someone who can _understand_ him. Many who love him have tried, but I think your presence here means you have an advantage others do not."

"I'm not sure I know what you mean..." Rey said, uncomfortable with all the praise.

"Don't worry too much about it. Just know that you're being here has more meaning than you might think. Now," she shifted a little, turning Ben onto his back and placing a hand on his shoulder, gently shaking. "It's time for you to wake up."

Rey watched the care with which she touched the young boy. There was an ache in her heart at the unfamiliar scene. As if sensing her pain, the Senator looked up and smiled. "Both of you need to wake up."

\--

Rey opened her eyes. The storm had passed, and the breaking dawn shone into her stone hut. Sitting up, she ran through the dreams she had had the night before as she prepared for the new day. They troubled her, although she couldn't say why. But Master Luke had taught her to let go of her fears, so in preparation for the training she would face that day, she set the dreams aside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a short chapter, so here are some fun Star Wars facts: 
> 
> In Episode VII, Rey is 19. This is the same age as Luke in Episode IV and Anakin in Episode II. Compare and contrast.
> 
> In all Star Wars novels, there is a convention for the writing of droids' names. In narrative text, their designation is given, so BB-8, R2-D2, and C-3PO. But in dialogue it's written phonetically, so Beebee-Ate, Artoo or Artoo-deetoo, and See-Threepio or sometimes just Threepio.
> 
> R2-D2, as far as I'm aware, has never had his mind wiped. The story Ben hears in this chapter is from Star Wars Clone Wars Season 1 Episode 6. According to JJ Abrams, R2's low-power state in Episode VII isn't because he's sad that Luke is gone but because he needed to do some serious defragging.


	8. The Nature of Desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Master Luke encourages Rey to enter the dream again. Once there, Kylo tries to convince her of the truth.

_The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself._

_-Oscar Wilde_

It had been months since Rey had gone hungry. Even on the desolate island of the First Jedi Temple, food was readily available. Kelp grew in the rocky shallows, and berries on the small scrubby bushes. Master Luke taught her to fish with a net, using a gentle nudge from the Force to encourage their dinner to fall for the trap.

Still, when Rey ate, she did so with the same singular focus as she always had, eating quickly but not so fast as to choke. There were a limited number of dishes one could make, but tonight they had fashioned a stew with fish and tubers. It was her favorite, so she made an effort to slow down and enjoy it. Lost in this process, she missed the question Master Luke asked her.

"Hmm?" She asked around a slurp of broth. Her enthusiasm for eating and the old Jedi's stoic personality meant mealtime was usually a silent affair.

"How is your healing progressing?" He asked again. She gave him a blank stare, so he elaborated. "From the damage that was done to your mind?"

Rey swallowed, debating how to answer. "I haven't tried to enter the dream trance in a while," she said truthfully. "But I feel better."

He nodded, stirring the stew with a crudely carved spoon. "I think you should work on it some more."

She stopped eating. Why would he suggest that now? She'd been thinking about the dreams earlier today, had he sensed that somehow?  She didn't like to question Master Luke, but this...

Fortunately Luke seemed to notice her discomfort. "Your training has been going well, and you seem happy. This kind of healing is best done when things are going well."

Rey relaxed. That made sense, she supposed. She studied the chunks of fish and starch floating in her bowl. "How will I know when I'm done healing?"

Luke considered the question. "The dreams that follow the trance will stop," he decided. "Or they will no longer be disturbing."

Hiding her face in her bowl as she drank, Rey tried to keep her anxiety from showing. What did it mean, then, that she had gone into the dream without trying?

This time, the trance was harder to acheive. Concerns about whether she was doing it right kept interrupting her meditation. _Had_ the dream of the sandstorm been part of all this? Or had it just been a normal dream?

No, she decided. There was a stark sense of reality and continuity that even the dreams of young Ben lacked. Whatever it was, it was definitely related to the damage Kylo Ren had done to her mind.

But that begged the question, if it _was_ a trance dream, how had it been initiated? And why had it taken place on Jakku? She would rather not go back to the interrogation room on Starkiller Base, if she could avoid it.

And so her mind drifted as she tried to seek out Kylo's presence in her own mind.

\--

As usual, she wasn't exactly sure when the dream started. She found herself wandering through a series of rooms that looked as if they had been decorated by a rather eccentric hand. Swathes of fabric hung from walls, furniture, the ceiling. Some were motheaten rags, others elaborate spinnersilk brocades, and everything in between. The furniture was a mish-mash of unmatched pieces, all of them finely wrought but in varying stages of abuse and wear. The lighting was dim, provided mainly by glowing crystals and spheres placed at seemingly random spots.

And yet, there was a kind of harmony to the discord. The eye went from one item to the next, never resting on one piece too long, an easy sense of flow in the design that led her down a hallway and into another room.

This one was a little better lit, by the addition of several lit panels on the walls, although their red and violet coverings lent an eerie, lurid mood to the atmosphere. The room was dominated by a massive, semi-circular fixture that was part couch, part bed. Lounging on this were a variety of figures, mostly female. Rey recognized a Twi'lek, a ruddy-skinned Zeltron, and a bit off to the side was a very pale Keshiri.

And right in the middle was Kylo Ren.

He was obviously enjoying the attention of the Zeltron, and the Twi'lek seemed determined to be involved as well, pressing herself against Kylo's back. The Keshiri didn't seem too sure about the whole thing, hiding her face behind the locks of her lavender hair.

For a moment, Rey wondered if she were an invisible observer to this scene, and then Kylo froze. He lifted his head from the Zeltron's unreasonably large breasts, and looked right at her. He said nothing, but his eyebrows rose slowly, and he sat back, studying her. His companions didn't seem particularly concerned, if anything they seemed to be waiting for one of them to speak.

"What are you doing here?" Kylo asked hesitantly.

Rey sighed, and put her hands on her hips. "I don't know why I'm _here_. I went into the trance, went looking for you, and here we are. I don't even know where _here_ is."

Although Rey had mostly been talking to herself - and really, all of this was talking to herself if she thought about it - Kylo seemed surprised, and sat up.

"You started the dream again, excellent." He moved so he was sitting on the edge of the cushioned seat, and patted the spot next to him.

Rey glanced from him to the three other girls. They seemed unconcerned, lounging with a bored attitude.

"Don't worry about them," Kylo said dismissively. They're just figments. Memories, really."

"Who are they?" Rey was not mollified. The more she studied them the more they bothered her. They looked underfed, the Twi'lek had a bruise on one hip, and the Zeltron, she decided, had been surgically altered.

Kylo sighed, and looked over his shoulder. "They were part of my training," he admitted. "Under Snoke," he added.

Rey thought the last was rather uneccessary, honestly. She folded her arms, still not satisfied with his answer.

He spread his hands, trying to think of how to explain. "The nature of desire is that if denied, it will fester into an obsession. If indulged, it will consume you. The Jedi seek to rid themselves of desire, but the Sith seek to conquer it. The trick is to give in to the desire, enough to slake your need, but not to dwell in it. Like drinking when you're thirsty. When you're not thirsty, you're not distracted by thoughts of drinking."

Her stomach roiled. She didn't have a lot of great experience with sex, but she knew that there was supposed to be something more to it than that. And to use those girls as nothing more than a means to an end.

"Disgusting," she muttered.

To her surprise, Kylo nodded, solemn. Behind him, the girls disappeared. All except the Keshiri, who was now curled up, as if her flimsy dress wasn't enough to keep her warm. Kylo regarded the small girl with a sadness that bordered on tenderness.

"Who is she?" Rey asked.

He let out a shaky breath. "Her name was Ellyria. She was my first."

The use of the past tense was not lost on Rey. "What happened?"

Laying back, Kylo tucked his head next to the girl's, black curls brushing against lavender strands. "I formed an emotional attachment to her."

Rey shrugged. "I imagine so. But you say that like it's a bad thing."

Kylo reached out to trace one finger tip along the girl's violet jaw. "Master Luke held with the old ways, that attachment and possession were forbidden to Jedi. I thought, perhaps, that the Sith would take the opposite path. But I was wrong."

As she watched, Rey realized that Ellyria was perfectly still -- too still. She watched her back carefully, but it did not expand with indrawn breath.

"But Snoke was angry. He told me that emotional attachments are a weakness. They can be used against you, you see? My grandfather turned his back on the Jedi Order in the hopes of saving his wife, and failed. And then he turned his back on the Dark Side to save his son. If I allowed myself to become attached to anyone, I risked failing as Vader failed."

Rey sat on the edge of the couch, turning her back on the eerie scene. She wasn't sure she wanted to know the rest of the story, but Kylo went on.

"And so, to prove that I was not a slave to my emotions, Snoke ordered to kill Ellyria. But I wonder sometimes if that didn't backfire on him. If he had let things be, kept me busy elsewhere, would she have faded into memory? Just one more girl among billions, and this just some forgettable brothel on a backwater planet, like a million others in the galaxy?"

Sitting up, Kylo leaned his elbows on his knees and buried his face in his hands. "Instead, she haunts me. I don't think I'll ever forget."

Rey studied him from the corner of her eye. He did look truly upset about it, sickened even. "Why are you telling me this?"

He turned his head, watching her carefully. "I don't know. I can't seem to stop whenever you're in my head, I just say whatever I'm thinking."

Frowning, Rey turned to face him fully. "When I'm in _your_ head? This is my dream, if we're in anyone's head it's mine."

Kylo's eyes widened, and he stared at her in disbelief.

"What?" Rey was uncomfortable under the intensity of his gaze.

"You haven't figured it out." He shook his head.

"Haven't figured what out?" Rey was starting to get irritated.

He took her hand, the first he had touched her that night. His hand felt so solid, so real in hers.

"Rey, this isn't a dream. Or rather, it isn't just a dream," he corrected.

"I know that. I entered a trance to help heal the damage you did when you tried to steal the map from my mind," she said, exasperated.

He thought about that a moment. "I think it was actually when you fought back that did it."

"How could me fighting back damage myself?" Rey shot back. But she knew she was being defensive out of fear. If what Master Luke had said was right, she had used the Dark Side to do so.

"I don't think it damaged you, Rey. I think it forged a connection between us. You felt it, didn't you? When we fought in the woods? You seemed to know what I was going to do before I did." Kylo gestured to the ruin of his face, as if the scar there was living proof to his argument.

"I don't understand what you're saying." Rey thought she might know what he was implying, but couldn't wrap her brain around it, couldn't imagine....

"Right now, in the real world, you're asleep... somewhere. Where Master Luke is, I imagine."

She nodded.

"Well, I'm also asleep. I'm on the Finalizer, in my personal quarters. And I'm having this dream too."

Kylo's words sank into her like the blade of a dagger.

"No," she whispered. "That's not possible."

"It is!" Kylo turned to face her fully, one leg hitched up onto the couch. "Do you remember the sandstorm last week?"

Rey nodded, unable to deny it.

"I went to Jakku. Not just in the dream, I actually flew to Jakku, to Niima Outpost. Talked to that disgusting trader, Plot or whatever --"

"Unkar Plutt," Rey supplied numbly.

"Him." Kylo made a face. "He told me how to find your... the overturned AT-AT you lived in. I'd been trying to initiate contact, to start this dream," he gestured around them. "I couldn't, so I went there to see if it would help. It worked. You remember the dream. When I woke up, I found the water bottles you had hidden, and I knew it was real."

As he spoke, Kylo became more and more excited. With a pang of recognition, Rey caught a glimpse of his younger self in his elation. But his words, she couldn't accept them. She shook her head.

"Those are all things I would know about," she argued. "This is just my own mind, trying to convince me."

Now it was Kylo's turn to be exasperated. "What about this?" He gestured to the brothel, to Ellyria's unmoving form. "You have no way of knowing about this memory of mine."

"I also have no way of proving it's not something my mind made up," she countered.

Kylo made a frustrated sound and stood. "There has to be something, some way of proving it to you." He paced back and forth several times, then paused. "A story. Something Uncle Luke could corroborate."

Rey made a face. "I... I haven't told Master Luke much about the dreams," she admitted. "I'd rather not, honestly."

He nodded, solemn. "That's probably for the best. Hm."

More pacing. At last he came to a stop just past her, and turned slowly. "I can tell you something that is going to happen," he murmured.

"Like what?" She sighed. She'd seen the future before, it wasn't particularly convincing.

"I could tell you where the First Order will strike next."

Rey's head shot up. This could be valuable information for the Resistance, and she wasn't much concerned how she got it. "Go on."

He smiled grimly. "You'll tell them, won't you?"

"Of course I will." She crossed her arms.

Kylo considered it a moment, and then shook his head. "It doesn't matter. This is more important. The Finalizer and several older Star Destroyers will attack Corellia at 0300 standard time next cycle. They are an important supplier of ships for the Resistance, and this will cripple them."

Rey agreed, a strike to the shipyards at Corellia would be devastating. It would also shatter the delicate post-war economy, and likely send several planets into dire straits. It sounded like something the First Order would do - reckless and over the top.

"Even if that does happen, how does that prove anything? I could have seen that in the vision, the Force could just be using this dream to tell me," she argued.

Kylo rolled his eyes, and then proceeded to give her a rundown of every ship that would be present, who would be in command of each vessel, and what the initial attack plan was. Finished, he sat back on the couch. "Are your visions that specific?" He asked mockingly.

"No," she agreed. She looked at him for a long moment. "Why is it so important to you that I believe you? What you're doing is treason."

He made an expansive gesture. "At this point, even if you went straight to my-- to General Organa and told her the entire plan, she wouldn't have enough time to muster a significant defense. And we don't need to obliterate the shipyards for the attack to be successful. A demonstration will be suffiient to accomplish our goals."

Rey shivered at the coldness in his tone. But she didn't miss that he hadn't really answered her question. "I'm going now."

He smiled. "You know how to find me."

Shutting her eyes, Rey made a concentrated effort of sheer will...

\--

And woke, sweating and gasping for breath. The night was cold, her little fire had gone out. She stepped out of her hut and into the wind. Thick clouds hid the stars and made her all but blind, but by now she knew the paths of this island as if she had been born there.

When she stepped in Luke's hut, he was already standing, awake.

"I need to call Leia, immediately," she gasped.

There was concern in Luke's eyes, but he nodded. Across the fire, R2-D2 came to life, announcing with a whistle that he had connected with the long-range communicator Chewie had placed in orbit for this purpose.

It took nearly half an hour to get Leia. The transmission took several minutes to travel through hyperspace, and then when someone answered they had to overcome static and a slight lag to make them understand who they wished to speak with. Then they had to convince the person - a Lieutenant Bixon - that General Organa could and should be woken to speak with them.

Fortunately C-3PO happened to blunder in on the conversation, and, thrilled to speak with Master Luke, also took some convincing to shut up and go find Leia. When at last the General's tired voice came over R2's emitters, Rey nearly cried in relief.

"General, I have some very pressing intelligence," Rey said quickly.

"This line isn't encrypted," Leia said quickly, now sounding completely awake.

"We don't have time!" Rey argued.

"Patience," Luke said calmly, and put a hand on her shoulder.

They waited a few tense moments before Leutenant Bixon announced the encryption had been activated.

"The First Order is going to attack Corellia," The words burst out of Rey. Then, she caught herself. "At least, I think it is."

"I'll take that chance," Leia said quickly. "Even if it turns out to be a false lead, that's too valuable a target to ignore. Tell me everything you know."

Rey carefully repeated what Kylo had told her. She found it easy to remember his voice, as if he were telling it all to her again. It was draining, though, and Leia frequently asked questions or excused herself to bark out orders to Lieutenant Bixon and others who had been summoned.

"That's all I know," Rey said at last.

The sound of Leia's sigh came as a hiss of static over the transmission. "Now," her voice had gone a bit hoarse, and she paused to take a sip of the caf someone thoughtful had brought her. "If you don't mind terribly, I'd like to know _how_ you got this information, and don't just say 'the Force.' I need to know how accurate it's likely to be."

Rey bit her lip, and glanced uneasily at Master Luke. She had hoped to avoid this, but Leia was right. There was still a chance, if her the Kylo in her dream really was him, and not some figment of her imagination, that this was some kind of elaborate trap.

"I can't be sure, there's a possibility that this is all just me jumping at shadows," Rey warned. "But if it is true... I got the intel straight from the source. From Kylo Ren." _Your son_ , she added silently.

The transmission was audio only, so Rey couldn't see Leia's reaction. But she could see Master Luke, and she didn't imagine the twins' expressions were terribly different on this occaision. There was a flash of surprise, of hurt, and then Luke's face hardened into a grim mask of determination.

Leia, ever the consumate politician, recovered first. "I'll take the nature of your source into consideration in our plans," she managed to rattle off, with some measure of irony. "If you'll excuse me..."

"Go," Luke said softly.

The transmission ended, leaving Master and pupil staring at each other.

"We need to talk," Rey said quietly.

Master Luke sat down. "I am listening."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if the title was a bit of a tease, I had originally planned for things to get a little hot and heavy before Kylo started explaining, but Rey, as usual, was too stubborn and straightforward to cooperate. Nooo, she says. I'm not having sex in this awful place! *sigh* Once again my excuse to write smut has devolved into solid plot.
> 
> If you're really curious about the species of Kylo's lady friends, you can look them up on Wookiepedia. The short version is, Zeltrons are pink, Kerishi are purple, and Twi'lek come in many colors and have two "head tails." There are a few Twi'leks in Jabba's palace in Return of the Jedi.


	9. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey tells Master Luke the truth about Starkiller Base and the dreams

Rey shifted uncomfortably, staring down at the mug of caf in her hands. Luke had broken out a small tin that Leia had sent him, saying that the stimulant would help them stay vigilant as they waited for news from the resistance. She suspected it was also a comfort to him, something to steady his nerves.

To Rey, it was an almost unheard-of luxury. The aroma that wafted up from the steam was earthy and rich, but she found the taste almost too bitter to stand. She'd had no opportunity to be picky about what she ate, but most of it had been very bland.

"So." Luke poured himself a second cup and glanced at the chronometer that R2 was projecting on the wall of the hut. "What is it you want to tell me?"

She scowled. It wasn't so much that she _wanted_ to tell him as she didn't think she was able to keep it from him any longer. No sense delaying it then. "When I told you about what happened to me on Starkiller Base, when Kylo Ren interrogated me..." she paused, noticing the slight grimace of pain when she spoke the name, "I left out some details."

Master Luke nodded his head, understanding. "It was a very vulnerable moment for you. I wouldn't expect you do divulge everything."

Her glance darted back down to the steaming caf. "Yes, but.... When you said that what he did was a trick of the Dark Side, I was afraid you would be angry."

Luke lifted one eyebrow, but said nothing.

"When he tried to delve deeper into my mind, to steal the map, I... I pushed back. I don't know how. But somehow I ended up reading _his_ mind. I saw his thoughts and fears. I saw his obsession with Darth Vader--"

Luke closed his eyes, obviously pained.

Rey pressed on. "I saw how he did it, how he reached into my mind. How he'd done it to others. It frightened him, and he left." She took a sip of the bitter caf. At least it was warm. "I'd heard that Jedi could trick people, heard the traders and pilots talk about it on Jakku. I tried it on the guard."

This brought a slight smile to her Master's face. "Did it work?"

Rey smiled back. "Not the first time. But I thought about it. Remembered something... remembered a voice, your voice," she realized suddenly, "explaining the right way of doing it. And then it did work."

Luke seemed thoughtful. "Ben was always good at mental influence. Much more so than physical manipulation or fighting. He didn't require much coaching, but yes, I tought him the Jedi Mind Trick." His eyes were distant, remembering.

"And then again, when we fought," Rey pressed on, wanting to get her confession over with. "I pushed into his mind again, to see how to fight, to get an edge on him. It worked, but..."

"But you got more than you bargained for," Luke guessed.

She nodded. "I was so angry. I've never been so angry. I wanted to kill him. There was something _telling_ me to kill him. I... I don't think it was part of me...."

This got Luke's attention. He took a deep breath. "That is concerning. It's possible you were still reading his mind, and he has a death wish. But it's also possible...." He pressed his lips together and looked away. "If someone is influencing him or controlling him..."

"You mean Snoke." Rey had heard the name from Leia.

"Yes," Luke agreed. "If he was also invading Kylo's thoughts then he might have sensed your presence, and extended his influence to you. Have you felt that presence again, since then?"

"No. However..." she hesitated. "When I went into the dream trance... I assumed it was just my mind, replaying the events, the first few times. But then I had a dream, one that I hadn't started with the trance, that took place on Jakku. He was there. He was...." She struggled to find a way to explain the sense of connection she had felt to him. "He was kind to me. Or at least he wasn't mean. He seemed fascinated with how I lived my life there. I thought it was just a dream, though."

"Were there other such dreams? When you didn't meditate first?" Luke asked quickly.

Rey nodded, a little frightened by his intensity. "I think they're memories of Ben's childhood. The take place in a huge building, it's so beautiful, I've never seen anything like it. The halls seem to curve away forever."

"That sounds like the Senate on Corouscant," Luke agreed. "Ben spent a lot of time there when it was still the headquarters of the New Republic."

"Yes. There were senators. Leia, and others I didn't recognize." Rey agreed.

Luke seemed to relax a little. "So you think you might still be accessing Kylo Ren's mind?" He guessed.

"It's more than that, I'm afraid." Rey took a sip of caf to brace herself. "He has the dreams too. He figured it out before I did. That's why I had the dream of Jakku. He says he actually went to Jakku, apparently he wasn't able to start the dream otherwise."

A flicker of wry amusement crossed Luke's face. "For all his skill in manipulating the minds of others, Ben was never the master of his own thoughts. Still. How can you be sure that your wounded mind is not playing tricks on you?"

Rey perked up. "That's exactly what I said! But," she gestured to R2 and the chronometer, "this was his answer. His proof."

Tugging at the end of his beard, Luke scowled. "You've done nothing wrong, Rey," he began. "What you did on Starkiller Base was done in self-defense and ignorance. The Mind Trick is harmless, provided you're doing it for the right reasons. Reading Kylo's mind to beat him was dangerous, and I would not advise doing it again. The dreams, however...."

Rey set the mug down. Her stomach was churning and despite its warmth the caf did not help.

"It is possible that when you pushed back into his mind, a bond was forged. A link, through the Force, on a subconcious level. The dream trance allows you to access this link. Were the connection with anyone else, I would say it was a rare and fascinating gift. But if Kylo Ren is still able to access your mind, then we are in grave danger."

Rey considered his words. "I don't think so," she decided at last. "I know what you mean--" she said quickly. "He could find out where we are, or any Resistance secrets I know, and tell them to Snoke. But he hasn't. When he figured out the connection, he could have told Snoke immediately. Instead he decided to tell me, to give us First Order secrets. Although he admitted that with such short notice this particular intel wouldn't be terribly useful."

"He could be earning your trust, with the intention of betraying you later," Luke warned.

She shook her head. "In the dream... I can't lie. I don't think he can either. It's not like meeting someone in person. There's no way to hide what you're feeling. It's... intense."

Luke turned his head to regard her from the corner of his eye. "Be careful, Rey. Emotional attachments can be an easy weakness to exploit."

Rey shivered, remembering how Snoke had saw fit to teach Kylo that lesson. "They can also be a strength," she argued. "He's hurt, Master Luke. He's confused and angry and so very lonely."

The old Jedi sighed. "You intend to go back into the trance, then?"

Rey shrugged, and checked the chronometer again. "That depends on how this turns out. Like you said, it could just be my mind playing tricks on me."

\--

0300 came and went, and there was no word from Leia or the resistance. It wasn't until 0533 that a call came through. It was Poe, apparently patched through directly from his X-Wing. He'd called to tell her about the battle and let her know that he and Finn were safe.

"Leia is probably too busy with her work to spare even a moment," Luke said gently when the call ended.

"I know," Rey said. She stood, stretching. "Let me know when she calls." As far as she was concerned, it didn't matter. Poe had told her everything she needed to know. The first Order had attacked Corellia in exactly the manner Kylo had described. There was no way it was a trick of her own mind.

"Be careful," Luke said softly as Rey ducked through the door.

She hesitated, then set off through the quickly fading night to her own hut. To sleep, and maybe get some answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've been gone for so long! Things have been pretty stressful IRL, and ironically for once I actually have the motivation to work on my book. 
> 
> But this thing wouldn't leave me alone. Now that I've got this conversation out of the way, I think it will be a lot easier, too!


	10. Meeting of the Minds

Rey drifted. In her exhaustion, she had fallen into the trance almost immediately. But making the connection was more difficult than before. Distantly, she wondered if the knowledge that she was seeking Kylo's mind and not her own made it harder. After what seemed like an eternity, she found herself watching the bustle of an impossibly large city. Skyscrapers larger than star destroyers soared above the horizon, and the traffic roaring around them seemed as tiny as beetles.

Fascinated, it took her a long moment to realize she was looking at Coruscant.

She turned around, suddenly aware that she was looking out of a window. It was the Senator's office, and while Kylo was nowhere to be found, the woman herself sat on one of the couches, admiring the same view as Rey.

"He's not here?" Rey was confused. She'd never initiated a dream of his memories, usually they came after the trance.

The Senator shook her head, and the strands of beads which hung from her elaborate hair design tinkled gently. She wore a dress of puffy blue silk, with a tight dark blue velvet bodice. As always, she was stunningly beautiful. "He is still awake," she explained. "But he's exhausted. He will come to you soon."

Rey tilted her head. "You know this is a dream?"

The Senator smiled, and it lit up her face. "Yes. I exist only in dreams, now."

Rey felt a moment of panic. What if the reason General Leia had not called back was because... But no. Surely Luke would feel it if something had happened to his sister. She tried to puzzle it out.

The Senator stood, and her serious expression brought Rey out of her thoughts.

"You are aware of the danger in coming here?" She guessed.

Rey nodded. "I've been warned."

"And yet you came back."

The two women studied each other for a long moment. Rey could tell that the Senator came from a very different life than she had. Every inch of her--clothes, hair, posture, even her accent--screamed of a life of privilege. And yet, there was something about her. Maybe it was how she carried herself, as if all the jewels and silks meant nothing to her. There was a stubborn strength to her eyes which belied the softness of her face. Rey had seen it in General Leia's eyes, where it counteracted the frailty of her age.

Rey knew this woman, like her, would fight for what she believed was right with everything she had.

Evidently the Senator came to a similar conclusion, and nodded to herself. "I need your help, Rey."

"Of couse," Rey agreed immediately.

This brought the Senator's smile back. "I haven't even told you what it is I need you to do."

"If I can do it, I will," Rey promised.

"Good. Ben needs you. He needs someone who can show him the way back to the light."

Rey sat down. She had suspected that was where the conversation was leading, but it was an almost unimaginable task.

The Senator sat next to her. "I know you have no reason to do this for him. He has only hurt you and your friends. But you're the only one who can."

Rey put her face in her hands. "I know. But what if he can't be redeemed?"

The older woman turned, looking out the window once more. "Do you know who Ben's grandfather was?"

Rey sat up. "Darth Vader," she said the name darkly. "He's obsessed with him."

She didn't look back from the view. "I never knew him by that name," she said quietly. "Before he took it, he was Anakin Skywalker. A Jedi. A kind man. Passionate, impulsive, a little quick to anger. But when he smiled..."

The echo of that smile showed in her profile, but Rey thought she spied the glimmer of tears in the Senator's eye.

"He was a good man, Rey." At last she turned to face Rey once more, her deep brown eyes begging her to believe.

Rey didn't know what to say. She reached out, and put a hand over the Senator's, where they were clasped in her lap. The woman seemed to compose herself.

"Ben aspires to be like the monster he became. But he's more like the man I knew than he realizes. If I had known, if I'd been strong enough...." She shook her head, setting her jewels twinkling again. "You have the chance I lost. All I ask is that you take it."

Swallowing, Rey nodded. She had no idea how she could accomplish such a thing, but she knew the Senator was right. There was no one else who could reach him the way she could.

The room around them began to darken, as if sunset came all at once. Rey panicked, but the Senator put a calming hand on her shoulder.

"He's calling for you," she said. "Go to him. And may the Force be with you."

Rey closed her eyes.

\--

When next she opened them, Kylo Ren stood before her. He wore his helmet and hood. A quick glance around showed an unfamiliar setting, but the black floors and angular design hinted that it was somewhere owned by the First Order.

"You have heard then?" He said, his voice strange and garbled through the mask.

"Yes. Would you take that off, please?" She shifted uncomfortably. It was cold here. Starkiller Base? Or a ship in space?

Kylo's head turned to the side. "What do you expect to see?"

A wash of deja-vu shuddered through Rey. She fought to keep her voice even, her face blank. "You."

After a moment he reached up and did as she asked. "Fair enough," he said in his own voice, and ran a gloved hand through his hair.

"So." Rey said.

Kylo's eyebrows twitched. "So."

Rey realized that neither of them had moved since the dream had began. They were a good six feet apart. Taking a breath, she closed that distance. He was taller than her, and she looked up into his face and struggled not to feel intimidated.

"You're really him," she murmured.

To her surprise, he smiled. "I'd say in the flesh, but.." he gestured to the room around them, and it flickered nauseatingly.

"Don't do that," Rey frowned.

"Would you prefer somewhere more comfortable?" He suggested. A wave of his hand and the scene around them changed to an opulantly appointed room. It was far more ostentatious than anything she had seen before, with tapestries on the walls and gold tracery in the marble floors.

"This is hardly what I'd call comfortable," she argued. Reaching up, she wiped her hand across the scene, and it faded away to the interior of the Millenium Falcon.

The sharp indraw of breath from Kylo startled Rey. He sounded as if someone had struck him. Turning, she saw his wide eyes and parted lips, and for once he really looked like the little boy Ben.

He took one step, then another, turning to examine the small common room at the center of the ship.

"I forgot," Rey said apologetically. "You must have spent a lot of time here, growing up."

Kylo lifted a hand, and for a moment Rey thought he would change their surroundings once more. But instead he put it on one of the panels, touching it gently.

"Not as much as you might think. My--" he swallowed thickly as if something had caught in his throat, and she felt a wave of greif and pain blossom from him, but it was quickly squashed. "Han Solo was frequently gone on missions and adventures," he said, his tone and expression bitter. "He had little time left to be a father."

"Your parents were busy trying to fix the galaxy," Rey tried to explain.

"You think I don't know that?" Kylo shouted. "You think I was never told how very important their work was? That I should be _proud_ that they were my..." He closed his eyes, but his hands clenched and unclenched rapidly.

Rey flinched when his lightsaber leapt into his hand, but he did't turn it on. Instead he opened his eyes once more, looking around him. He collapsed into the seat nearest him, and buried his face in his hands.

Moving slowly, carefully, Rey took the lightsaber from where it protruded through his curls, and set it on the small table. Then she sat next to him.

"I have to ask you some things," she said softly.

"What?" Kylo didn't bother to sit up or look at her.

"Does Snoke know about this?"

It wasn't so much that Kylo moved as that he stopped moving entirely. She didn't even think he breathed. "Don't say his name," he whispered.

"I'll take that as a no. Are you going to?" She tried to feel for his reaction, but only got the same mess of fear and greif he always emenated.

After a very long moment, he simply said, "No."

"Why not?"

Now he did move, slowly lifting his head and turning to look at her as if she had sprouted a sarlaac pit on her forehead.

She scowled at him. "Forgive me if I don't take you on your word," she snapped. "I'm going to need to know a little bit more to trust you."

At the word 'trust' Kylo's eyebrows flew upwards. He remained quiet, but seemed to be pondering her question. At last he leaned back in his seat, a posture he'd obviuosly assumed there often. "When I joined the Knights of Ren I was the thirteenth member. There had been more before me, who had become martyrs for the Dark Side, but the number was always close to a dozen."

There was a long pause as he searched for words. "Now I am the last."

Rey blinked. She couldn't say she was particularly heartbroken to hear that Kylo's group of Jedi-murdering friends were dead, but it was a bit of a surprise.

"Snoke had formed the group shortly after the battle of Yavin. They were a tool, an army of darkness, with one purpose - to wipe out the Jedi." His eyes were distant and dull, as if he spoke the words without facing the meaning. "Once that had been accomplished.... He sent them on impossible missions. All except for me. It would seem I still have a purpose."

"What do you think that is?" Rey asked softly.

He looked up. "I haven't completed the first task, not really. I have yet to fulfill my grandfather's great mission. I cannot rest until _all_ the Jedi are dead."

A cold weight settled in her stomach. She knew what he meant. Luke. "That would include me, now?" She guessed.

Kylo shook his head. "You're a novice. You could still be turned."

Rey bit back a retort. It would rain on Jakku before she let that happen. "And what happens, once you've murdered your uncle as well as your father?" She knew her words hurt him, could feel it through their bond, but she pressed on. "Will he send you after Leia next?"

"No!" He shouted before she even finished speaking.

"How much do you have to hurt yourself before you've proven your loyalty to him?" She continued. "How many family members do you have left to kill?"

"You don't understand!" Kylo stood, his rage thrumming in the air between him. "Once I kill Master Luke," his voice broke on his uncle's name, "then I will have fulfilled my purpose."

Rey opened her mouth to express her disbelief, but he held up a hand, and her lips closed as surely as if he'd put it over them.

"Then _he_ will no longer have a use for me," he hissed.

Now it was Rey's turn to freeze. She felt the pressure on her face fade away, but she stayed silent. Kylo collapsed into the seat opposite her. She studied the lightsaber on the table between them. She could see where he had repaired the damage she had done. It looked even more shoddy and cobbled together than ever.

"But if you delay the task inevitably..."

Kylo shook his head. "Eventually he will decide I am not capable of the task, and dispose of me anyway."

Rey chewed on her bottom lip. The simplest solution would be for Kylo to leave, but simple did not mean easy. She imagined Snoke's influence as the Supreme Leader of the First Order would make him nearly impossible to escape, and his hold on Kylo went much deeper than that. But there had to be a solution.

"If you could do anything, regardless of how impossible it would be, what would you do?" It was her go-to problem solving tactic. Even an impossible solution was better than none.

Kylo leaned his head back against the panelling of the ship. "Go back in time."

Rey fought the urge to roll her eyes. "Okay, other than that."

Crossing his arms, Kylo considered the question seriously. "Before the Knights of Ren," he said slowly, "There were the Sith. Long ago they were an entire society of Dark Force users, but the Jedi hunted them nearly to extinction, and their own infighting nearly finished the job. It came to the point where there was only one Sith left. He took on an apprentice, but he decided that to prevent future conflicts, he would only train one. Once he was gone, the apprentice would become the master, and he could take on an apprentice of his own.

"In this way the tradition continued for many centuries, hidden from the Jedi. Often a Sith Master would have many successive apprentices, as the training was hard and many failed. There was only one way to advance, after all." Kylo smiled grimly.

Rey frowned. "What's that?"

He made an open gesture with his hands, palm-up. "Kill the master."

She swallowed. Logically, it made sense. But it didn't exactly sound like it would foster a good learning relationship between master and apprentice.

"This chain was broken when my grandfather gave in to the light. He killed his master, but then died very shortly after. To my knowledge, he never trained any apprentices of his own." He leaned forwards, suddenly excited. "Perhaps I _could_ carry on his legacy, in another way..."

"You mean... restart the tradition by killing Sn--"

This time he put his actual hand over her mouth, stopping her before she could say the name. The leather of his glove was warm on her skin, and she resisted the urge to bite his hand.

"Yes," he whispered.

"Why are you so afraid?" She asked when he removed her hand. "He's not here. He can't hear us."

Kylo shuddered visably. "Yes, but he might listen in later."

With a jolt, Rey realized what he meant. Snoke would read his mind, would invade his thoughts and discover everything...

"Don't worry," he said, reading the panic on her face. "He hasn't found out. I'd just rather not... make it easier for him."

She nodded, and tried to pick up the thread of conversation once more. "So after you'd done that you'd, what? Take over the First Order?"

He scoffed. "I'm not interested in political power."

Rey was inclined to believe him. If that had been his ambition, he would have been better served by staying with the Resistance and taking up his mother's banner.

"Then what?" She pressed.

"I'm not sure," he admitted. "I have never had the opportunity to control my own destiny, to choose for myself. I've always lived in the shadow of expectation. I want to be my own man, to be free of all ties."

She sighed.

"What?" He asked, suddenly self-concious.

"It's just... all my life I've wanted to be a part of something. To belong somewhere," she explained.

They stared at each other across the table, trying to find some common ground. At last, a slow smile spread across Kylo's face, his gaze turning intense.

"You could belong to me," he murmured. "You could be my apprentice."

"I don't want someone to _own_ me," she ground out.

He waved a hand dismissively. "You miss my point. There's no way I could overcome him right now, not on my own. But together, we could do it."

It was tempting, at least in terms of the goal. It would go a long way towards clearing the path to the light for him. "But by your logic, I would then have to kill you and find my own apprentice," she pointed out.

He frowned.

"You don't want to become a Sith, Kylo. Becoming a Knight of Ren didn't make you happy, and that won't either. What you want is to get rid of _him_. That I'm willing to help you with," she folded her arms.

Glancing up, Kylo balked. "You're joking."

"I am very serious," she countered. "If you want to do this, I'll do everything in my power to make it happen."

"Because it would benefit the Resistance?" He said sourly.

"No, because it would benefit you!" Rey threw her hands in the air, exasperated.

He studied her now, suspicious. "Why would you care about me?"

Rey put her head on the table, at a complete loss for words. Why did she want to help him? It wasn't just that the Senator had asked her, although that was part of it. It wasn't just that it was probably his best chance at coming back to the light, and that was the right thing to do. She did genuinely care what happened to Kylo, but why?

"If you're going to be living in my head," she said at length, "I'd rather you weren't unhappy." The statement was somewhat lessened in effect, as her head was still on the table and she spoke it to the sticky floor beneath.

"We're still not strong enough," he decided.

"Not yet," she agreed. "I've still got a lot of training to do." She sat up, sighing.

His gaze flickered between her eyes, barely concealed excitement behind them. "Let me train you, Rey," he murmured. "It will take forever with Master Luke, I should know. It will be years before you have enough power. If you come to me, come to the Dark Side, I can show you things that would make you far more powerful than you can imagine."

Rey ground her teeth together. "Are you ever going to let that go? No! I don't want to join the Dark Side, and I don't want to be your apprentice! That's not the kind of relationship I want with you!"

One eyebrow lifted on his forehead. "Then you do want a relationship with me?" He teased.

"I want us to be equals!" She stood. "And I don't want this argument about Light and Dark and the Force to be a constant argument between us!" She came around the table, poking her finger at his chest. "And I want you to stop bothering me about it!"

Rey was not a tall woman. Even with him seated, she was only a head and shoulders above him. But the change was enough to give her a momentary advantage, and she did her best to weild it.

Kylo looked up at her, serious once more. "What do you want? If it's not training, then what could I possibly offer you?"

Rey had had enough of his self-doubt and loathing. She grabbed his face and kissed him, crushing her lips against his. He made a half-strangled sound, and then scrambled to respond, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her in. Somehow she ended up straddling his lap. She buried her hands in his curls, scraping her nails against his scalp.

His hands found purchase on her hips, pressing down and grinding her against his rapidly growing erection. She moaned against his mouth, and swiveled her hips experimentally. He gasped, breaking the kiss, and looked up at her in wonder.

"I want _this_ ," Rey murmured, pressing her forehead against his.

"Why?" His breath hitched as she began slipping out of her gauze wrap.

She did her best not to laugh at him. "Because it feels amazing," she said bluntly. Frowning at his robes, she concentrated for a moment and they disappeared, leaving him wearing only his pants and boots.

He smirked. "A Jedi does not give in to the demands of the flesh," he quoted at her.

Scowling, she leaned back. "If you say the word _Jedi_ or _Force_ or anything else like that one more time, I'm leaving."

Kylo followed her motion though, his hands cupping her rear and lifting her on to the small table. His lightsaber clattered to the floor, unnoticed. He towered over her, tipping her back precariously so she had to cling to him for balance.

"Who says I will let you go?" He growled.

Rey trembled, but fought to put a brave face on it. "Shut up and fuck me."

Kylo groaned, and in an instant Rey felt the cold air on her skin, the bite of the metal table beneath her. Her clothes were gone, and so were his. When he tilted his hips against her, the length of his cock dragged against her folds.

She let out a sharp cry and dug her nails into his back. His skin dragged against hers deliciously, but it wasn't enough. Reaching between them, she touched herself, stroking the small bundle of nerves until she shivered. Kylo cursed as the wetness of her arousal slicked his skin. Pulling back, he pressed into her, one agonizing inch at a time.

Rey let her head fall back, reveling in the sweet invasion. She wrapped her legs around him, pulling him in deeper. He thrusted once, sharply. When she didn't cry out, he did it again.

"What are you waiting for?" Rey asked.

He scowled, and then began pounding into her as if he had something to prove. Rey did her best to ride it out. She would have liked to do more, but she didn't have much choice balanced on the tiny table and clinging to him for life.

They didn't last long. The intensity of it was too much for Rey, she climaxed almost the moment she realized it was about to happen, shouting wordlessly. Kylo only pushed harder, his breath ragged. Then suddenly he clutched her to him, so she was nearly sitting up, and lifted her right off the table with the force of his thrusts. He spilled into her, his face contorted in what looked like pain.

Carefully, he lowered her back to the table, pulled away from her, and then collapsed back on the seat.

Rey leaned her elbows on her knees and fought to catch her breath as she admired Kylo, naked and spent. His eyes were closed, and she could see his pulse beating rapidly in this throat. Once more she studied the maze of scars on his body, naming the ones she knew the cause of and wondering at the others.

As if sensing her gaze, Kylo's eyes snapped open. A moment later he was fully clothed, although he still struggled to breathe.

Rey lifted an eyebrow, sitting up, and caring not one whit that she was completely naked and he could see _everything_. He licked his lips, clearly enjoying the view, but after a moment he waved a hand and her clothes returned as well.

"So," Rey said as soon as she had breath to do so.

"So," Kylo echoed.

"What now?" She slid off the table and sat beside him.

"Now it's your turn," he said, turning to study her.

She raised an eyebrow. "My turn to what?"

"I gave you sensitive information about the First Order," he reminded her. "Now it's your turn to return the favor."

"I'm not informing on the Resistance." Rey sat up, shocked. "And I'm not giving you Luke's location either."

"No?" He smirked. "But what if I wanted to see you, in person?"

That made her pause. The idea of seeing him, really seeing him, and knowing without a shadow of a doubt that this was real.... It terrified her. And she wanted it, more than she could ever explain. This connection between them, it tugged on her.

"Would that be an acceptable show of faith?" She asked carefully.

He nodded.

"Then I propose we meet on neutral ground."

He scoffed. "Neutral ground? Stars, Rey, nowhere in the galaxy is neutral anymore. We're at war."

"Somewhere highly inaccessable then. Like the Rishi Maze," Rey floundered.

Frowning, Kylo considered the suggestion. "The Maze is supposed to be impossible to navigate," he argued.

She shook her head. "I knew an old pilot, on Jakku, who said he could do it. He wasn't human, said his species was more attuned to the Force than humans. That you couldn't rely on your instruments, and had to go on pure instinct."

After a moment, he nodded. "I'll look into it. If what you say is true, then I will meet you in the Rishi Maze in six cycles."

Rey balked. "Six cycles? How am I supposed to explain to Master Luke, and get a ship, and..."

"I have a very narrow window of opportunity," he broke in. "I can get away then, or not at all, for I'm not certain how long. I risk much in coming to see you, too," he pointed out.

Rey closed her eyes. "All right. Six cycles from now, in the Rishi Maze."

Standing, Kylo turned slowly, looking at the familiar surroundings as if for the last time. When he came to face her, she saw the uncertainty he had been hiding before. "Don't make me wait, Rey."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've been having some trouble writing this story because I'm not sure where to take it. I'm much more of a planner than a pantser, and it bothers me when I don't have an endgame planned out.
> 
> The trouble is, I have two really great ideas that take the story in completely opposite directions. Right now I'm torn between putting it up for a vote when the divergence comes up, or to split this into two fics and continue both storylines. Thoughts on either option would be appreciated!


	11. Ghosts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super inspired by all your lovely comments, so here's another quick chapter!
> 
> I had a lot of fun writing this one, it echoes some material from each of the original trilogy movies. Don't worry if you're not familiar with the films, it will still be interesting (I hope) but if you know them you might understand Luke's reactions better.

Rey opened her eyes.

It was light in the hut, and a glance out the door showed that the day was well advanced, and it was almost afternoon. She sat up, and scrubbed at her eyes. This was not going to be easy.

She made her way to Luke's hut. He was grillìng fish over his small fire, and glanced up when she entered. He didn't look like he'd slept at all. He moved one of the fish onto a crude earthenware plate, and gave it to her, along with a small pressed metal fork. She dug in, using the excuse to eat as an opportunity to order her thoughts.

"Did Leia call?" She asked him.

He nodded. "She was about ready to drop from exhaustion. They managed to evacuate a lot of people, but it was too little too late. Corellia is under the control of the First Order now."

The heavy weight of the news settled between them, and they bore it in silence.

"Were you able to reach him?" Luke asked at last.

She nodded, cleaning the last of the meat off the tiny bones. "He's sworn not to tell Snoke," she said, which was the best of her news.

"And you believe him?" Luke's eyebrows rose.

"He wants to overthrow him," she revealed, "So yeah. I do."

Luke set his own fork down. "So he's grown tired of being Snoke's apprentice, too?" It was surprisingly bitter.

"It's more than that. Snoke is the reason he turned. He has some control over his mind, I think. If he's ever going to escape the Dark, we'll need to get rid of Snoke first."

The old Jedi looked up sharply. "You want to bring him back to the light."

Rey frowned at her master. "Don't you?"

Luke shook his head. "I'm not sure it's possible."

"Leia believes there's still light in him," Rey argued, taking another fish from the fire.

To her surprise, Luke chuckled. At her perplexed glance, he smiled. "It's just... I had this same argument with Leia, about Darth Vader."

"And you brought him back," she pointed out.

Luke sighed. "He brought himself back. To save me."

"Well, then, it's possible."

Luke shifted uncomfortably. "Rey, I'm not sure you're entirely familiar with what Kylo Ren has done. When he destroyed the New Jedi Temple, he and the other Knights killed everyone. Men, women... even the children."

"Darth Vader murdered the children of the old Jedi temple." Rey argued.

This caused a look of surprise from Luke. "How do you know that?"

She shrugged. "There's a ballad about the ruin of the old temple. We had a bard who was stranded on Niima outpost, he sang it to us. How did it go?" She shook her head. "I haven't a memory for songs. But there was definitely something about him killing Jedi children... 'even to the last youngling,' was the line. I remember it because it was so awful and sad."

He looked out the door, thinking. "I trained under Obi-wan for such a short time, I forget sometimes that there were many things he didn't tell me." He smirked a little. "He didn't even tell me Darth Vader was my father."

Rey pulled a bone from her mouth. "Probably for the best, considering."

Luke looked back at her. "I'm sure he would agree with you. Still. What possible reason could you have for wanting to bring Ben back to the light?"

She sighed. She was tired of having this argument. And she certainly was't going to give Luke the same answer she had given Kylo. Instead, she thought back to the dream earlier in the evening.

"When I dream about Ben's memories, there's often a lady there. I thought she was Leia when she was young at first, but now I'm not so sure. Do you have any holos of her?" She asked.

Luke chuckled. "Artoo, do you still have the old message?" He called out the door.

The astromech droid, which had been charging his solar panels outside, whistled happily and trundled into the hut. He turned towards an empty space, and then began a projection.

A woman stood, perhaps ten inches tall, in a long white robe. "General Kenobi, years ago you served my father in the Clone Wars. Now he begs you to help in his struggle against the empire. I regret that I am unable to present my father's request to you in person, but my ship has fallen under attack, and I'm afraid my mission to bring you to Alderaan has failed. I have placed information vital to the survival of the Rebellion into the memory systems of this Artoo unit, my father will know how to retrieve it. You must see this droid safely delivered to him on Alderaan. This is our most desperate hour. Help me Obi-wan Kenobi. You're my only hope."

It was hard to get a good picture from the blurry, low-res holo. Rey leaned down and studied it carefully. "It's not her. She looks a lot alike, but her face is too narrow and sharp. Her voice is too low and rough, and she's not... graceful enough." She watched as the figure glanced sharply behind her shoulder, and leaned forward to end the recording. Her movements were quick and precise, not the flowing ease of the Senator.

Luke smiled nostalgically. "That's Leia. That message is what got me into all this mess, all those years ago."

Rey sat up. "Who could she be then? A friend of the family? Ben seems to trust her, and she protects him."

He frowned. "Describe her to me."

Rey thought. "She has long, dark hair, curly like Ben's. Her face is round and smooth. She speaks with a slight imperial accent, and she dresses very finely. Always blue. Her eyes... I think that's what confused me. They look just like General Leia's, warm and brown. She's very beautiful. Kind, but... sad."

Luke blanched. He stared at her for a long moment. "Artoo," he said without looking away. "Do you have any holos for the Galactic Republic Senators?"

R2 beeped an affirmative response.

"Please display one for the last Senator from Naboo." He spoke woodenly.

A new image appeared, the bust of a woman. She wore a headdress almost like a halo. "That's her! Who is she? What's her name?"

Luke stared at the image as well, transfixed. "Her name was Padme Naberrie Amidala. She was the second youngest queen of Naboo, and then went on to serve as Senator. During her second term, there was an assassination attempt. Palpatine-- he was Chancellor Palpatine at the time, and a good friend of hers, a mentor, even-- he requested that the Jedi provide a bodyguard for her. My old master, Obi-wan, was assigned to her, as well as his apprentice, Anakin Skywalker."

Rey glanced between Luke and the image. "She said she knew him," she agreed, then paused. "If I had to guess... it sounded like she knew him... rather intimately."

That brought a small smile back to his face. "You could say that. She was my mother."

Rey blinked, then put it together. "She's... but then she's..."

He nodded. "They married in secret, at the beginning of the Clone Wars. There's a reason such things were forbidden to the Jedi. He feared losing her, and turned to the Dark Side. In retrospect, I wonder if Palpatine planned it that way. Pushed his two protoges together, and used her as a tool to control him."

"What happened to her?" She asked.

"I don't know," Luke admitted. "More things Obi-wan never told me. I only know she died when I was very young. I have no memories of her, and Leia only remembers images. That's how I knew who it was, you described her the same way Leia did. Obi-wan must have known, though, because after she died he took me to Tattooine, to Uncle Owen. Leia went to Senator Bail Organa, that's who she means by "my father" in the message."

Rey studied the image with him. "Padme," she murmured. It made sense now. She could see the family resemblance with both Leia and Ben. She turned back to Luke, much more confident in her ability to convince him. "She lives in Ben's dreams," she explained. "She knows she's a ghost. She asked me, Luke. Your mother, Ben's grandmother, asked me to help him. She said that she wasn't able to bring Anakin back to the light, and asked me to be there for Ben."

Luke passed a hand over his beard, considering.

She took a deep breath, and then took the plunge. "She told me to go to him."

His eyes went wide. "No, Rey. You can't just walk into First Order territory..."

"We agreed on neutral ground, in the Rishi Maze. Only Force-users can navigate it, and even then you have to be a damn good pilot. Which I am." Rey argued.

"Still, Rey, you're not ready. You can't face him yet," he said sternly.

"I'm not going there to _fight_ him," she pointed out.

"You don't know that. You might be walking into a trap. He could be there to kill you, or worse, capture you."

Rey swallowed. There was a very real chance the latter was true.

"I have to go," she said desperately. "He won't turn me over to Snoke. There's still good in him, I've felt it. I can turn him back. But he needs my help, Luke."

Luke sagged, shaking his head. "Are we doomed to repeat history?" he mused.

Rey wasn't sure what he was talking about, but sensed that she had won the argument. "I promise I'll come back to finish my training."

This elicited a raised eyebrow. "I never said you wouldn't."

She chewed her lip. "He wants to train me," she admitted. "But I don't want to."

He nodded. "You're much wiser than I was at your age, Rey. Go, and may the Force be with you."

Rey grinned. Maybe Luke took after his mother after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos to Stiletto Ren for guessing correctly! 
> 
> Based on majority consensus I have decided to split the fic. The divergence is a ways away, but when we reach it I will end this fic and post two separate continuations, one called "The High Road" and the other "The Low Road." You can pick which one you want to read based on which decision you think the character should have made, or you can read both and try to keep them straight lol.
> 
> I'm actually looking forward to it, kind of an experiment in online media!


	12. Preparations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The school I work at has a 2 hour delayed start today due to incliment weather, so you all get this chapter early! Hooray!

When Rey signalled Chewie, she was surprised by the alacrity of his response. He said he would drop everything and come get her. When she tried to assure him that there was no rush, he growled that he was coming and to be ready to go in two hours. 

Luke stood with her as she waited at the base of the steps, and she felt a surge of hope. Maybe this was going to be easier than she thought. 

Beside her, Luke shifted uneasily. "Be wary, Rey," he said softly. "The path to the darkness is easy. Shortcuts, laziness, and pride all belong to the Sith."

Rey struggled not to sigh in exasperation. Luke had said exactly the right thing to throw a wet blanket on her enthusiasm. Taking a deep breath, she took the advice to heart. "What about hope?"

This brought a gentle smile to his face. "Hope is good," he agreed. "It is the very essence of the light."

She frowned, a sudden thought occuring to her. "Then... wouldn't the essence of the dark be despair?"

Luke turned sharply from watching the sky and examined her closely. He did not look away, even at the sound of the Millennium Falcon breaking atmosphere. "You may be right, my apprentice. You may be more right than you know."

As soon as the Millennium Falcon touched down on the rocky outcropping barely big enough to hold it, the boarding ramp began to lower. Chewie was out before the engines had even fully powered down, roaring a greeting. Sensing his excitement, Rey ran to him and was crushed in a giant Wookie hug. Her heart soared at the warm affection - was this what family was like?

Then she caught the undertone of anxiety and concern, and pulled away. "What's wrong, Chewie?"

He let out a few anxious chuffing sounds, asking if she was alright, and looking her over carefully. 

With a burst of insight, Rey realized why Chewie was upset. At some point in the past, Ben must have asked him to come get him from Luke's academy, to take him away, and Chewbacca had refused. 

"I'm okay, really," she said quickly, petting the fur on his long, lanky arm. "Training with Master Luke has been great. But I need to go do something very important."

Chewie grinned, a rather intimidating sight given his teeth, and asked if it was a secret mission.

She grinned back. "Something like that." Turning, she waved to Luke, who raised a hand in farewell, and then followed Chewie up into the ship.

As Chewie took his place in the pilot's seat, C-3P0 stood from the other chair. "Miss Rey!" He lifted his hands in excitement. "How good it is to see you! I must confess, I'm terribly relieved. Although I am programmed with over seven million forms of communication, I find it rather difficult to communicate what Master Chewbacca instructs to the computer of this ship. I'm afraid I'm just not designed to be a copilot."

Rey grinned. "It's all right, Threepio. You don't have much range of motion, so the controls must be hard to reach for you. I'll see if I can't rig a data interface for you so you can talk to the computer directly instead."

Chewie groaned appreciatively. 

"Oh, thank you Miss Rey, but I'm sure that won't be necessary now that you're here." The droid moved so she could take the copilot seat. 

Rey's smile faltered as she helped Chewie run through the pre-flight check. "I won't be here forever, though. I have a mission to go on, and then I've got to get back to training."

Chewie sighed, but then asked the Wookie equivalent of "Where to?"

Rey sat back as they left the atmosphere, considering. "Well the mission is in the Rishi Maze."

"Oh dear," C3P0 said quietly. 

Chewie agreed, whining as he looked around the cockpit, obviously trying to decide if the Falcon was up to the challenge. 

"And I think I need to go alone," she added solemnly.

There was a moment of silence, and then Chewie started entering coordinates into the hyperdrive. Glancing down, Rey saw they were for the rebel base on D'Qar. Chewie let out a triumphant roar, and engaged the lightspeed engines.

"I heartily agree, Master Chewbacca," C-3P0 chimed in. "Let's get Miss Rey a ship!"

\--

Rey sighed. When she had been stuck on Jakku, she had imagined that hyperspace travel had meant you could go anywhere in the galaxy in the blink of an eye. And in some cases, that was true. But one of the reasons no one had found Luke and the First Jedi Temple was because it lay in a relatively uncharted part of the the galaxy. It took six short jumps just to make it to one of the major trade routes. And D'Qar was out of the way too, and required another two jumps after. Then end result was a trip that took almost 2 cycles, and left Rey with a lot of free time.

She had already rigged the data interface she had promised C-3P0, fixed five different repair jobs waiting to be done on the old ship, and cleaned out the refresher. She had studiously avoided the central lounge and the way it called to her.

At last, once they were on the hyperspace trade route and would be for some time, Chewie had turned in to the crew quarters to catch some sleep, and C-3P0 had cycled off. Rey was alone.

She didn't remember walking to the lounge, but found herself standing in the hatchway, staring at the small metal table. 

It was exactly as she remembered it. She sat down, just where Kylo had sat, and swept one hand over the dusty durasteel surface. It was cold.

"What am I doing?" Rey groaned, and leaned her forehead against the cool surface. She hadn't thought about it before she jumped him. It just seemed like the right thing to do. She was begining to realize that logic and thought didn't work quite the same way in the dream trance as they did in reality.

And what was she thinking, going on this mission? Kylo hadn't agreed to come alone, or not tell anyone that she would be there. They hadn't even specified a location in the Rishi Maze, which was a fairly extensive area of the Outer Rim.

Now, awake, alone, it seemed completely idiotic.

Sitting up, she tried to collect herself, drawing on her training. She reached for the Force, for that invaluable reassurance that she was headed in the right direction. It came easily, as it always did, and she breathed a sigh of relief. If she focused, she could feel the swirling maelstrom of hyperspace just outside their feeble craft. It was oddly soothing in it's mindless, emotionless roaring. And beyond that...

Rey jumped. She wasn't sure what she had felt. A presence, another mind. No words, just the same echo of her own surprise. Reaching out once more, she carefully felt to see what it was.

_Kylo_. 

There were no words, just the sense of his presence. She could feel him, alive, and a vague sense of puzzlement. He had sensed her reaching for him, could feel her presence in return, and was surprised. 

A little of her anxiety must have leaked through the connection, because she was suddenly enveloped in a wash of reassurance. He would be there. She would be safe. He would not betray her.

Rey nodded, more to herself than anything, but she thought he must have felt it. The connection dissolved slowly, as if they were drifting further apart. 

It was enough.

\--

Rey waited impatiently for the boarding ramp to lower, walking down before it had even touched the ground of D'Qar. She stepped out, breathing the sweet earthy scent of the forests. She'd never thought of Ahch-To being desolate, as the sea surrounded the Jedi Temple and was full of life, but in a lot of ways it was it's own kind of desert, with only a few shrubs and birds eking out a life on the islands where Luke had hidden for over a decade.

Here, there was life. Here there was--

Rey was jolted out of her appreciation by a exstatic "Whoop!"

Across the landing yard, Finn had just exited the stone building, Poe following close after. Finn was trying to run, but his back brace didn't give him much mobility. Laughing to keep from crying, Rey ran to close the distance between them. He nearly bowled her over, his balance still shaky, and they caught each other in a gale of laughter.

Poe caught up and hugged the both of them, squeezing tight and then thumping Rey on the back. They had met breifly before Rey had left for training, but had become good friends long-distance as Poe had kept her up to date on Finn's condition while the ex-stormtrooper was still unconscious.

"Rey!" Finn shouted. "You didn't say you were coming! When I heard the Falcon had come back..."

At the same time, Rey was yelling "Finn! You look great! Should you be up? I can't believe you're walking already!"

Poe watched the exchange with a look of pleased bemusement, and glanced over his shoulder as BB-8 rolled up to join them.

Rey let out a very un-Jedi-like squeal of delight and dropped to her knees to hug the little droid, who chirped happily at the attention. By this point, Finn was gushing about Poe's latest project, and was nearly dragging her into the hangar. As they hurried toward the enormous doors, they continued jabbering simultaneously.

Finally Poe bust out laughing, silencing them both.

"What?" Finn demanded.

"How can you even understand each other?" He asked, wiping tears out of his eyes.

Rey shrugged. "Telepathy?" She guessed.

Finn shook his head. "Training. You learn how to listen and talk at the same time so you can give reports and take orders faster."

"Well I'm glad you understand each other, because I'm lost. Here, this is it." They came around a corner, and he gestured to a ship. "The new Black One," he said proudly.

Rey's eyes widened. "Is that a new A-wing model?" She quickly walked around it, taking in the specs. It looked a lot like the RZ-1 A-wing interceptor, but it was slightly larger, the cockpit was a little more sunk into the ship, and it was longer. "Is it a two-seater?" She hopped up on to the top in one easy leap.

"Yes!" Poe took the more conventional route up the ladder, and opened the hatch. Behind the pilot's seat was a rear-facing gunner's array. "The old RZ-1s had no astromech slot, so the pilot had to fly and shoot and calibrate all at once. Plus they're damn fast, which made them near impossible for most humans to fly."

Rey looked up. "Most?"

Poe shrugged. "Well, Incom was still working on an old business model, after the old Deltas, which were designed for..."

"Jedi," Rey finished off. "Right. But this..."

"Is way easier. There's still people who prefer not to use a droid, especially for shooting, and they were developing this on Corellia just before the First Order struck." Poe grinned. "So I stole it."

Rey put her hands on her hips and nodded. "Nicely done. I imagine Finn will be your gunner."

"Oh, absolutely," Poe winked.

"I still think you're crazy," Finn's objection came from under the ship. "I mean I'm not _that_ good."

Rey leaned over the edge. "Yes, you are. Shut up." She hopped down, and Poe slid down the ladder. "It's amazing," she said, looking up at it.

BB-8 made a less-than-pleased bleep. 

"Oh, that's right," Rey turned around. "No astromech slot."

"Yeah," Poe said ruefully, leaning down and patting the droid. "That's the one drawback."

They made their way slowly into the base, and Rey noticed that the arm Finn flung casually over Poe's shoulder was as much out of affection as it was a need for support. She hid a smile, glad the two had hit it off so well.

"So what brings you back to D'Qar? Is the training going okay?" Finn asked.

"It's going well," she said hesitantly, "but there's something I need to take care of. Actually, I came here because I need a ship."

Poe waggled his eyebrows. "Well, you've certainly come to the right place. What kind of specs do you need?"

"Single fighter, highly maneuverable, really good input-reaction response time," she listed off. "And I need to be able to run it on manual and still have it work well."

Finn whistled dramatically, and gave Poe a mock-serious look. "Well, I can't think of any available ships like that, can you?"

Poe rolled his eyes. "You can take the old Black One, Rey. It's a T-70, but I modded it to run on manual so I could push it a little harder. Do you think you could fly it?"

Rey's eyes went wide. "Seriously? You would do that? Of course I can fly it, the T-70 was one of my favorite simulations! They tend to be a bit tricky when you pull up in atmo, though, the foils catch a lot of resistance."

Poe nodded. "Yeah, but you can use that to your advantage. If you cut the engines, you can flip right over a tail."

"I hadn't thought of that!" Rey agreed.

Between them, Finn laughed. "Now _I_ don't know what you're talking about," he joked.

\--

Rey sat alone in the cafeteria, tucking in to a plate of meat and grains covered in a rich gravy. She'd told her friends she was hungry and sick of fish, and they'd managed to scrounge up some leftovers from the mid-day meal. 

By this time, Finn was close to falling asleep in his seat. He'd clearly been over-exerting himself, and Poe insisted that they head back to Finn's quarters to get him some rest. Rey had stayed behind, too busy enjoying her food to bother with conversation anyway.

Resistance fighters drifted in and out of the cafeteria, grabbing snacks on their way to meetings and duty shifts, and Rey generally ignored them. So it was with some surprise when she looked up to see someone sitting across from her at the table.

It was General Organa.

Rey almost choked, and that brought a hint of a smile to the older woman's face.

"Rey, it's so good to see you," she said warmly.

"General..."

"Oh, please," she shook her graying head. "Call me Leia. Does Luke make you call him 'master' when you train?"

"No," she admitted. She still preferred to, though.

"Then I'm not going to be 'General' either."

Rey stared at her a moment longer, and then went back to eating. "Okay," she said between bites. "What can I do for you, Leia?"

"I've just had a very interesting conversation with C-3P0," Leia said casually. "He mentioned you're looking to make a trip out to the Rishi Maze."

Inwardly, Rey cursed. Of course Chewie wouldn't say anything but C-3P0 would report any and all gossip he had heard directly to Leia. As a professional courtesy, of course. She glanced around the cafeteria, which was now truly, suspiciously, empty. So this conversation would be private.

"That's true," she said evasively.

"And I'm guessing it's a very important trip, since the Rishi Maze is supposed to be impassable and you're not yet done with your Jedi training," Leia went on.

Rey felt a flash of irritance. She had been gone months, and had quite a bit of fighting knowledge to begin with. Personally she was content to train as long as Master Luke thought necessary, but for Leia to just guess....

Leia let out a throaty chuckle. "Oh, Rey. You're not fooling anyone. Where's your lightsaber?"

"It wasn't mine. I gave it back to Luke," Rey explained.

"Actually, that was our father's lightsaber," Leia corrected. "Luke wasn't considered a full Jedi until he made his own. But that one was destroyed when..." Her throat seemed to catch and she swallowed thickly. It reminded Rey painfully of Kylo.

"Anyway, you haven't made your own lightsaber, so you're not done with your training." Leia collected herself. 

Rey couldn't help but smile. "That is also true."

The General leaned in conspiratorially. "Luke got in big trouble when he left his training early to help us on Bespin," she whispered.

"I..." Rey blinked, realizing now what Luke had meant about history repeating itself. "He let me go."

At this, Leia slowly sat up straight again. "I see. Then your mission must be very important indeed."

Rey tried to hold her gaze, but couldn't.

"You're going to see my son."

Rey set down her fork and sighed. There was no point in lying to Leia. She knew that while Luke's sister had never trained to be a Jedi, she had the same raw talent, and had honed it over many years in the political arts. Lying to her would be as effective as telling the truth.

"It's not Ben I'm going to see," she said sadly.

Leia blinked. "I understand. What is your intention in going to see him then?"

"I don't know," she said truthfully. "I told Luke I was going to try to turn him to the light, but I'm not sure I can. Something happened on Starkiller Base..." Now it was her turn to choke up, and for Leia to glance away. "It formed a connection between us, through the Force. All I know is I have to go to him. I could very well be walking into a trap."

There. She had said it. Not even with Luke had she been that honest.

It took Leia a very long time to process that. She stared over Rey's shoulder, looking into the past, and the ghost of tears shone in her eyes. For a moment she looked just like her mother.

"I can't ask you to bring him back," she said, her voice thick with the unshed tears. "The last time I did that...." She couldn't finish the sentence, but the words hung between them unspoken.

_Han_.

"I won't make any promises, either," Rey said firmly. "Even if I do succeed, I don't think it will happen all at once. This meeting is a show of trust between us. It's a first step. But I think it's a step in the right direction."

Leia nodded, blinked back the tears, and then collected herself. The change from mother to general was so palpable that Rey wasn't the slightest bit surprised at the next question.

"Do you think you can gather any more intelligence from him?" She was all business now.

Rey smiled. "I think I might. He may or may not be planning a coup," she said delicately, "And I think he would be interested in keeping certain members of the First Order very distracted while he plans it."

The ripple of fear that passed through Leia was invisible. She did not flinch, did not even blink. If Rey hadn't been a Jedi, she wouldn't have even noticed it. "Then I would appreciate it if you would report to me when you get back." Leia stood, and pushed in her chair.

"Of course."

She stood with her hands on the back of her chair for a long moment. Woman, general, mother, Jedi... Rey could see the war between her roles that went on behind those warm brown eyes. It looked bitter and difficult.

"Thank you, Rey," she said at last, and then left.

Rey took a deep breath and then let it out. Picking up her fork, she went back to eating. The food had gone cold, but she didn't care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I should note that I've tried to use the convention from the books of having Wookie dialogue presented in narration instead of in quotes. I find it works best as putting the english words in dialogue gives me the image of him actually speaking common, and writing out the onomonpaeia of his language just looks silly.
> 
> Also the new A-wing is totally made up by me. I wanted a two-person fighter for them to use, and Y-wings are dumb and slow. A-wings are supposed to be extremely fast but also really tricky to fly, and I thought that sounded right up Poe's alley.


	13. Face to Face

Three cycles is a long time to be stuck in an X-wing.

One of the reasons the Empire never bothered to put hyperdrives in TIE fighters was because fighter craft were not designed for long-term travel in terms of comfort. The Rebel Alliance had requested the addition to X-wings to provide their pilots with an escape route should they be seperated from their larger transport vessel - the Empire was not concerned with this outcome. Should the situation occur, the loss of the pilot was considered an acceptable casualty when weighed against the cost of outfitting every fighter with a hyperdrive.

It also helped prevent people like Finn from getting away.

In the wake of the Galactic Civil War, it became common for pilots to own their own fighters and use them as personal craft. There was a huge boom in the hostel industry as it was usually best for travelers to stop once a cycle, sleep, and start out again refreshed. There was a plethora of choices even on Rey's remote journey.

She did not stop.

For one thing, she didn't have the time. She was on D'Qar for a few standard hours short of a cycle. It was all the longer she could stay - the trip to the Rishi Maze would take 3 cycles, and that was all she had left. She'd managed to escape only by swearing to Poe and Finn that she would spend a little more time with them when she got back.

For another, she didn't want to risk stopping anywhere. Not that she was notorious, but if this was a trap, or if Snoke had somehow learned of their rendezvous, she didn't want to give anyone the opportunity to catch her en route. In hyperspace, she was safe.

She passed the time by chatting with BB-8, who had sat out in the astromech slot and spoke over the ship's comm system. The droid regaled her with tales of Poe's piloting prowess, some of which Rey had heard from Poe himself. But BB-8 was willing to stop the narrative and explain, in detail, how Poe had accomplished any given feat if Rey asked.

In return, Rey had told the droid about some of the more convoluted simulations she had run on her little setup back on Jakku. To her surprise, BB-8 was fully interested in hearing about the pretend flights. To a droid, simulations and reality were barely distinguishable. Data was data.

Rey was used to being bored, though. It wasn't so much the mental strain that bothered her, but the physical. The X-wing cabin wasn't meant for comfort, and didn't allow for much movement. Rey had quickly shut off the gravometric drive, as sitting with it on made her lose all feeling in her seat after the first six hours. Her legs ached, and her back felt stiff. Luke had mentioned a meditation for such an occurance, but hadn't gotten around to teaching her yet.

Sleeping was the worst. Rey was used to curling up on her side. She managed to move the seat back and the stick forward far enough to curl her knees up to her chest, but it wasn't comfortable. Insomnia had long been her companion, leaving her alone on Ach-To, but now it returned with a vengeance. Mostly she only managed short naps before she had to wake and stretch out once more.

On the second cycle, though, sleep finally overtook her. Her dreams were as violent and fractured as the swirl of hyperspace right outside her hatch.

Images and sounds flashed by without meaning, until they coelesced into one moment. She stood, unable to move, frozen by some force.

_Go, Ben! Run!_ she screamed, but her mouth wouldn't move, she made no sound.

Overlapping images of Kylo appeared before her. One looked pained, and turned to run away.

The other smiled. He came closer, looming over her. "Take her to Snoke," he said, his voice full of malicious triumph.

Rey woke suddenly, banging her knee against the dash of the X-wing. BB-8 gave a concerned whistle.

"I'm fine, Beebee," she said, biting her lip against the pain. Her heart rate was still accelerated, but she could feel the adrenaline draining from her system. It was just a dream, an ordinary dream, she told herself. And it was true, in that it held none of the visceral presence of her trance dreams.

But she had dreamed of Kylo Ren, of the island on Ach-To, before she had ever seen them.

She debated calling Master Luke, to ask his opinion, and for some much needed human companionship. Her hand hovered over the comm control. But she had maintained radio silence thus far, and she couldn't risk it just to comfort herself.

Besides that, Luke would probably try to talk her out of going.

\--

At long last, she dropped out of her final jump, and the beauty of the Rishi Maze lay before her.

Technically the Maze was it's own galaxy, but it was less than a tenth the size of the greater galaxy, and the core's gravity was gradually pulling the maze in and tearing it apart. It was much younger, too, most of the stars were new and had not yet resolved into their own solar systems. A mess of proto-planets and interstellar material spiralled around an off-center core. Magnetic fields ran rampant, and the presence of an unusually high proportion of antimatter made calculation-based navigation nearly impossible.

It was also incredibly beautiful.

BB-8 let out an appreciative warble.

"Yeah," Rey agreed. "Okay, BeeBee. From here out I'm going to have to do all the driving. You're going to need to trust me, even when the systems tell you I'm doing something wrong."

The astromech droid cheerfully beeped in agreement. Rey couldn't help but smile at the vote of confidence. She could use it right now.

Closing her eyes, Rey tapped into the force. The Maze had it's own vibrant presence, and she filtered through it like passing sand through her hands. There was life there--a few species called it home--but it was foreign to her.

Sighing, Rey pulled her senses back and thought. It would take forever to find him that way. Instead, she looked inward, searching for the connection between them. She knew the moment she found it, it was like a string was plucked within her. It was pulling her, tugging from somewhere just beneath her sternum, and was coming from somewhere in the maze.

With that as her guide, she turned on the sublight engines and headed into the Maze.

\--

It took her eight hours. Eight gruelling hours of blind flying, going off of nothing more than her senses and what she could see out of the cockpit. BB-8 had been surprisingly helpful, presenting her with readouts in a neutral tone and not panicking when she acted contrary to that data. The deeper they went in, the less the droid had been able to help, though, and eventually it had gone nearly silent.

At last they had come to an asteroid field, thick with gasses. According to BB-8, they actually composed something approximating a breathable atmosphere, although the gravity was far below standard conditions. Rey wasn't sure she wanted to risk it based on that info alone, but she noticed that there were strange plant-like life forms here and there.

At last, one of the larger asteroids spun slowly until she caught sight of a deep crack in it.

"There," she whispered.

Easing the X-wing into the crevice, she found that it opened into a larger cavern. Inside was a sleek, black, First Order ship. It was not a single-person fighter, but rather a small personal cruiser, capable of carrying perhaps twelve people. Frantic, Rey reached out with her senses, thumb hovering over the X-wing's trigger.

The feel of Kylo's presence washed over her, anxious, impatient, angered and vulnerable, but alone.

Rey set down the X-wing where she could see into the viewport of the craft's bridge. It was only a few moments before she saw a figure in black sit down in the pilot's chair.

"You came." The voice was doubly distorted, once by his helmet and again by the shoddy transmission quality. It filled Rey with an unnamable feeling, something between relief and fear.

"Of course I came," she complained into the comm.

The boarding ramp lowered on the dark ship, and Kylo left the bridge. He reappeared coming out from under the ship, and stopped only when he reached the side of her X-wing.

Rey took a deep breath, and slid the atmo-mask on her face before lifting the hatch. The gravity was unsettling, enough to be felt, but not nearly enough to trust, and so she opted to climb carefully down the ladder instead of jumping. When she stood on the rocky ground, Kylo was less than three feet away.

"The air here is breathable," he said awkwardly.

"Oh," she said through the filter. "I didn't know if your mask..."

"It can," he agreed. "But it's not."

They stood there, staring at each other, for a very long moment.

Rey found that seeing him face-to-face was deeply startling. It wasn't like the dreams, where his presence was almost part of her own. The raw, physical solidity of him now seperated them. And yet, the connection thrummed between them, still pulling.

He cleared his throat, the sound strange in his mask. "We can go aboard if you prefer," he gestured to the ship. "It's more comfortable, with the gravometric drive on."

"Thank you," she said after a moment. "I would appreciate that."

They walked to the boarding ramp, and at the last moment Kylo stood aside to let her go up first. A memory floated up between them, reminding her of another meeting.

_You are my guest._

Once inside, Rey took off her mask.It seemed especially silly now, in the ship's artificial environment. The gravity was a little jarring after three days, but it felt good. She stretched, easing the cramps out of her legs and back. Her feet ached with holding her weight, but she knew that would pass soon.

Behind his inscruitable mask, Kylo Ren watched her.

"Are you really going to wear that thing the whole time?" Rey asked irritably.

His fists clenched, and she felt a wave of anger wash past her. He was thoroughly, painfully vulnerable before her, and the mask offered some semblance of security. But he pushed the emotions aside, and removed the mask.

Rey felt her breath draw in involuntarily when she saw his face once more. She had seen the scar she had left on his face in the dreams, but as with everything else it was entirely different in person. It was real. She had not noticed, before, that in addition to the discoloration of the skin, there was a noticible groove cut into the bone structure of his face. It was deepest on his jaw, where the gap dipped nearly half an inch, and it dwindled to a narrow slice through the bridge of his nose.

Her hand rose to touch the mark, but he flinched away.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"I'm not," he replied, but his voice broke on the second word. "It's a good reminder of my failure."

Rey bit her lip. "Well, since I'm still alive I guess I'm glad you failed too." She tried to smile.

Kylo shook his head. "Your death would have been an even greater failure. I never wanted to hurt you."

She swallowed, knowing it to be true. Her training with Master Luke had shown her just how much she still had to learn. She realized now that she could have never defeated him if he had been fighting in earnest.

Rey found she couldn't hold his gaze, and looked around the corridor they stood in for some refuge. "Is there somewhere we could sit? I've been in that X-wing for three cycles and my legs are a little wonky."

"Of course," he said quickly, concern flashing over his expression. He took off at an unreasonable gait, leading her down the hall and turning into a pristine lounge. It was fitted with sleek but comfortable-looking couches and chairs, a long low table, and wall of artfully-arranged food prep stations.

Rey sank gratefully into one couch, and after a moment Kylo took the one opposite her, setting his helmet to the side and perching carfully on the edge of the cushion.

"Is this your ship?" She asked, thoroughly impressed.

A smirk tugged up one corner of Kylo's mouth. "No. It belongs to General Hux, but he never uses it."

Her eyebrows rose. "Did you _steal_ this ship?"

Now, his smile broadened, and it reminded her with a painful flash of Han's sardonic grin. "No, I borrowed it. He won't even notice it's gone."

Rey crossed her arms. "And if he does?"

Kylo made a sweeping gesture with two fingers, an obvious parody of the Jedi Mind Trick. "Then he'll forget about it."

Pressing her lips together, Rey fought not to smile. "You're terrible."

He leaned back, putting one boot up on the expensive-looking table. "That's the idea," he agreed.

And just like that, the momentary comeraderie between them vanished, wilting in the reminder of who they were. What they were.

Rey passed her hands over her face and sighed. _Why did I come here?_ she groaned internally.

"Honestly I wondered that myself," Kylo answered her.

Rey froze, and then glared at him. "Stay out of my head," she spat.

His eyes narrowed. "I wouldn't..." and then he stopped, mouth open. "You didn't say that out loud, did you."

She shook her head, suddenly frightened.

<Can you hear me too?> His mouth did not move, but the voice sounded in her mind.

Rey covered her ears, and then immediately felt silly. The gesture was involuntary and made no sense.

<I'll take that as a yes. Say something,> he ordered.

<Don't tell me what to do, you stuck-up, arrogant piece of walking scrap metal oh shit you can hear me...> Now her hands clapped over her mouth, as if her body had not yet realized what was actually going on.

Kylo didn't exactly laugh, but his breath caught in a ragged pattern that was almost the same. <Well that's interesting,> he mused.

"Can we please not do this?" Rey asked normally.

<I don't know,> his mental voice was tart with sarcasm, <can we?>

It was a valid question, though. Carefully, Rey felt for the connection between them, and pushed it away, just a little, just enough to put a little defense up, a little wall around her own mind as Luke had taught her. And then she thought, very hard,

_Your mother misses you terribly._

There was no change in Kylo's expression, no flicker of grief on his face. She could still feel him on an emotional level, and there was no disturbance there either.

"Apparently we can," she said triumphantly.

He sighed, and got up to fiddle with a meal prep station. "Are you hungry?"

"I had a meal bar a couple hours ago, but I never turn down food," she said cheerfully.

Kylo made a face. "Those things are awful," he complained as he tapped a command into the unit.

She shrugged, stretching out on the couch. "Better than rations," she reasoned.

"You can say that again," Kylo muttered under his breath.

Rey studied his back for a long moment. She hadn't had much practice making friends, but she thought Poe and Finn had been unequivical successes. She felt as if there was a chance here to do the same, possibly, if Kylo could stop being... well, Kylo Ren for a decent stretch of time. It was a very surreal feeling, considering who he was.

And then he turned around with two plates of a creamy meat dish that steamed with such an enticing aroma that her mouth instantly watered. He set the plates on the table, and for a while she didn't think about anything except eating.

"You remind me of a little Hoka lizard I found once," he announced suddenly, interrupting her enjoyment.

"What?" She said around a mouthful.

"A Hoka lizard. It wasn't fully grown, or it probably would have killed me. It had a broken leg, and I tried to heal it. Vicious little thing, but as long as you gave it something to eat it was perfectly content." He smiled.

She scowled at him a little. "I'm not a pet."

Kylo's eyebrows rose. "Neither was the Hoka lizard." He chewed a moment, remembering. "Once it was healed, Uncle Lu--" he coughed, swallowed, and scowled half a second. "I was instructed to set it free. Something about the natural order," he waved his fork in a disingenous way.

Rey opened her mouth to argue, but then a message came over her comm. It was BB-8, checking to make sure she was okay. Fumbling for the response button on her collar, Rey responded.

"I'm fine, BeeBee, just stay with the ship, okay? Or you can come on board, if you want to." Rey felt guilty for leaving the droid alone.

The whistled response came as close to sarcasm as a droid could manage. BB-8 was fine where it was, thank you very much, and had no interest in boarding a First Order ship.

Kylo choked on his food, just a little, and Rey hid a smile. Once he had composed himself, he frowned a little. "Surely that's not the same BeeBee unit as..."

"It is, actually," Rey grinned. "Doesn't have the map now, though."

"Of course not," Kylo said darkly, and shook his head.

Rey mopped up the last of the sauce with the small roll of perfect, fluffy bread. It was absolute heaven. She fought a yawn as she chewed, and then another as she swallowed. Suddenly she was exhausted beyond belief. Dizzy, too.

She frowned, and looked from her plate to Kylo, a sudden horrific thought occuring to her. _Did he put a sedative in my food?_

"No," Kylo answered firmly, out loud, obviously shocked by the suggestion. He moved to sit next to her, examining her eyes and feeling for her pulse on her neck.

It was the first time he had touched her.

She shivered.

"You said you were in flight for three cycles, did you turn the gravometric drive off?" He murmured thoughtfully.

Rey's head swam, and she found she could only focus on Kylo's full lips as he spoke. "Hm? Yeah. My butt went numb."

The corners of his mouth twiched downward, fighting a smile. "And you didn't turn it back on?"

She shook her head. That was a bad idea, and everything went black and a little sideways. After a confusing moment she found that she was lying down on the couch. She tried to sit back up, but Kylo's hand pressed firmly down on her shoulder.

"You have space sickness," he explained. "You'll need to lie down for a few hours. I'll be right back with something for you to take for it."

"Okay," she agreed weakly. She watched as he stood, hesitating a moment, and then the room went slowly dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the purposes of this story, I'm going to write telepathic speech <like this> I find that using italics or bold or anything like that is too distracting, and French uses <<this>> instead of "this" so I think it will work. It's a little interesting to get the interface to understand it's not HTML though lol.
> 
> I should note that I am completely making up everything about the Rishi Maze except that it's a small companion galaxy. It's only briefly mentioned in Episode II, and Wookiepedia has next to nothing on it.
> 
> I'm not making up space sickness, though, that's a real thing. In three days of weightlessness, Rey would have lost about 22% of her blood volume (because your body needs less fluid in a weightless environment) so she's suffering from extremely low blood pressure, basically.
> 
> Remember that for all the simulation time she's logged, Rey has very little real-world experience in flying. But she's such a good pilot, I figure no one might have thought to mention the basics like keeping your gravometric drive on to her.


	14. Vulnerable

Kylo tore into the medstation, pulling boxes from their slots, rifling through them, and tossing them away when they didn't give up what he wanted. In his rush, he almost discarded the vial of capsules he needed. Turning it over, he read the instructions quickly, opened the bottle with some difficulty, and shook out two pills.

As he strode back to the lounge, he tried to remind himself that Rey was in no danger. Space sickness was unpleasant, to be sure, but three days of zero gravity wasn't enough to kill her. Not by a long shot.

But his heart pounded raw in his chest as he tried to rouse her enough to take the medicine. Her eyes fluttered open for the barest moment, and his breath hitched in relief.

Then she squeezed her eyes shut and moaned in pain. "Head aches," she murmured, semi-conscious.

"I know," he said softly. "Take this, it will make it better." He lifted her head enough that she could swallow,  and pressed first the pills and then a canteen of water to her lips. She took the medicine easily, but only a few swallows of water.

"You have to drink more," Kylo said firmly. "You're low on fluids."

Rey murmured something that sounded like 'ration,' and Kylo sighed.

"I have enough water on board for twelve people, and the ship has a recycler. Drink." He pressed the canteen to her mouth once more, firmly, and didn't let up until she had drained half of it. Capping it, he set the canteen aside, and brushed away a drop of water that had rolled down her chin.

_Now what?_

She would need to sleep, he knew, and the medicine would take a few hours to work. The couch she was on wasn't uncomfortable, but it would be better if she were in a proper bed. Carefully, so as not to wake her further, he slid his arms under her shoulders and knees, and lifted her. The familiarity of her solid weight brought back memories of Takodana, but he was more careful this time.  He kept her head tilted against his shoulder, and her arms tucked into her chest.

Making his way carefully through the corridors, he carried her to the General's suite. An absurd luxury on such a small craft, it featured it's own refresher, a table and two chairs, and a double wide berth. At the sight of it Kylo snorted. No wonder Hux never used this vessel. Whatever politician gifted it to him clearly didn't know Hux at all.

He set Rey down carefully on the edge of the bed, but she wasn't awake enough to stay sitting up, so he let her lay back. He ran a hand through his hair, considering his next actions. Her clothes were rumpled and stained, obviously the worse for wear from the three day trip. He glanced toward the 'fresher, considered the logistics of keeping her vertical, was treated to a particularly vivid image of holding her up, and quickly rejected the idea. That could wait until she was awake.

Kylo sat on the berth next to her, and began tugging her arm warmers off. He loosened her bracers, pulled them off, and then unwound the wrappings on her arms. That accomplished, he unbuckled her belt, struggling to keep his touch light and professional. He pulled it and the gauze wrap out from under her, and set the clothes on one of the chairs. Lastly he knelt down and pulled off her overlarge boots and peeled off her socks.

There was something strikingly intimate about the sight of Rey's naked feet. It was a part of her he'd never seen before, not even in the dreams. They were small, with long slender toes, and thickly calloused. He ran a finger along a ridge of hardened skin and she jerked reflexively,  pulling her foot away and curling up on the berth.

She lay still for a moment, and then one hand lifted limply to tug at her hair loops. "Head hurts," she murmured again.

"Here, let me do that." Kylo sat down and carefully, patiently picked loose the ties that held her hair in three loops. By the time he was done, she was soundly asleep, but he ran his fingers through her hair anyway, wishing he'd taken the time to learn how to ease pain with the Force. He wished there was something more he could do.

She looked so small and vulnerable, curled up on the black sheets. So alone.

The sight of her tugged at something in him, something dark and fierce and primal.

Turning out the lights, Kylo pulled his cloak off, and let it fall to the floor.

\--

The first thing Rey realized upon waking was that she was comfortable. Her head didn't hurt nearly as bad, and she lay on something soft. She was very warm -- it seemed like forever since she had been warm through, since leaving Jakku, she thought.

The second was that there was a weight on her side. It was not uncomfortable, but it was foreign. Opening her eyes, she peered through the darkness to see that it was an arm, bare and heavy with muscle, draped over her side. The hand was tucked in to her stomach, the ends of the long fingers just grazing her breasts through the thin tunic and wrappings.

She knew the arm was Kylo's, could tell without looking. There was a mild flash of panic as his presence washed over her Jedi senses, surrounding her, but at the same time it was oddly comforting. They were in a berth, she realized, and while it was the largest berth she had ever seen, it was still tucked into the wall, with only just enough room to sit up. She was facing the wall, and Kylo was behind her.

There was no way to escape without waking him.

Rey forced herself to calm down. She told herself that she was in no immediate threat, and tried to keep her breathing even.

Apparently she wasn't terribly successful, and she nearly squeaked in surprise when Kylo stirred, his arm tightening to press her back against him tightly. She fought to keep still, but he was so warm that she found it wasn't terribly difficult to relax.

"Are you feeling better?" He murmured, his breath tickling her ear.

She turned her head, giving up the pretense of sleeping. "...yes?"

"Are you thirsty?"

She remembered, vaguely, waking up with a burning throat, and cool water touching her lips. Had that been him? She took careful stock of herself. "Actually... where's the 'fresher?"

Kylo sighed and pulled away, and she found that she missed his warmth. "There's one right here, just be careful standing up."

Rey scooted to the edge of the berth and put her feet on the cold floor. She realized suddenly that she was only wearing her tunic and pants, and her hair was undone. When had that happened? Kylo put one hand on her back and the other on her elbow, and helped her stand up. She drew in a sharp breath -- she felt like she was walking on knives.

"Be quick, and come lay down again. You're not done recovering," he instructed.

She scowled at him and made for the narrow door of the fresher, her feet screaming in agony. When she came back out, though, she stopped in her tracks. She was not prepared for the sight of Kylo Ren, wearing only a pair of loose pants, sitting on the edge of the berth. His skin was pale and marked with scars she could only half-see in the darkness. His hair was mussed, and curls of it hung into his face. When he sat up she saw that he had a warrior's physique, all muscle and no softness. He looked at her with sleepy, hooded eyes, and a smile tugged at one corner of his mouth.

<Like what you see?> he teased through their mental connection.

Rey clamped down her defenses, shutting him out. Her feet were killing her, though, and her head was starting to hurt again, so she made a bee-line to berth next to him. She crawled into the narrow space and put her back to the cold wall.

"Here," he handed her a canteen.

She took it, drank a few swallows, and capped it once more, setting it on the shelf at the head of the berth.

He sighed in exasperation, but then lay down opposite her, studying her in the darkness.

"How long was I out?" she asked, surprised by how rough her voice was.

Kylo glanced over his shoulder at a chronometer. "About four standard hours," he said. "In another two you can take some more medicine if you're still not feeling well."

She shook her head. "I'm okay, just a little achey now."

"That should pass soon."

They fell into another silence, watching each other. After a moment, he reached out to brush a strand of hair out of her face. She froze, but didn't flinch away. His fingertips lingered on her cheek, and once more she was struck by the shock of his physical reality. It was so different from the dreams, when it was just the _idea_ of him touching her. She shuddered.

A frown creased the bridge of his nose. "What are you thinking about?"

"The dreams," she admitted. "If that was really you, then... The things you did to me, you wanted to..." she swallowed thickly.

His expression turned darkly intense. "I still want to do those things to you," he murmured, and she could feel it, his desire thrumming through the air between them.

Then he took a deep breath, and seemed to calm down. "But I admit it's a little more fun when you play along," he smiled faintly.

Rey tried very hard not to think about how easy it would be for him to act on those fantasies right now. She was weak from space sickness, and they were alone in a nearly inaccessable place. Her friends knew where she was, roughly, but they had no way of reaching her, or even communicating with her...

"Rey," Kylo put one hand on her shoulder, derailing her train of thought. "I won't hurt you, I promise."

It was, she realized, the first time he had said her name aloud in the real world.

"It may surprise you to learn that Sith must control their impulses, too. We're just a little more honest about acknowledging the truth of our feelings," he explained.

Resisting the urge to argue for the Jedi just for the sake of being contrary, Rey considered his statement. She had noticed that Master Luke seemed to be a little out of touch with his own feelings, trying to squash them down instead of processing them. She had to admit that didn't really seem healthy.

"What is it that you feel, Rey? What do you really want?" Kylo's thumb smoothed against the skin of her arm rhythmically, soothing her.

"I want to trust you," she whispered, "even though I know I shouldn't."

He smiled and shifted a little nearer, closing the gap between them. "That's a good start. If you did trust me, then what? What would you want then?"

Rey thought about it. The cold was seeping into her back from the metal bulkhead, and she scooted closer to his warmth.  "I want... I would like to touch you, and be touched." Her voice was so quiet she could barely hear it herself.

Kylo heard, though, and slid the hand on her arm to her back, pressing her to him. The warm, solid feel of his body against hers was nearly overwhelming. Her hands found his chest, skimmed over the skin and the muscles beneath, brushing over the pucker of scars. His breath hitched, and he slipped his hand under the back of her tunic, fingers splaying across the chilled skin. His hand was almost large enough to cover the small of her back.

"And what else? What more do you want, little scavenger?" His voice was deep and rough with some unnamed emotion.

It was too much. Rey tucked her face into the crook of Kylo's neck, evading his piercing gaze. Her body was heating up, not just from the warmth of his proximity but the desire it elicited. She tried to find the words and couldn't. It wasn't that she was ashamed of what she felt, it was just that it was too much, too powerful, and the consequences....

"I'm afraid," she murmured against his skin.

His hand, where it had been slowly sliding up her back, froze. "Of me?"

She chuckled. "No, but I should be, shouldn't I?"

He held her tighter, posessively. "Yes."

She swallowed, tried to say it, and couldn't. Carefully, she lowered her defenses and reached out to him with her mind. <I'm afraid of _us,_ > she admitted. Spoken this way, the word carried all the meaning she intended, the consequences, the questions, the frightening uncertainty.

After a moment, he let her in. <I am too,> he agreed, and she could feel it. He knew, could tell she was pulling him back to the Light. Part of him wanted to go, just to have her, but the other part pulled back just as hard, determined to drag her into the Dark Side with him whether she wanted it or not.

<What are we doing?> she asked. <Why are we doing this?>

<I don't know,> he admitted. <But I don't think I have the strength to resist it any longer.>

He tilted his head down at the same time she tilted hers up, and their lips met as naturally as if they had kissed a thousand times before. They clung to each other, two binary stars locked in the inevitable pull of gravity, whirling ever closer to their mutual destruction. The connection between them flared, momentarily consuming them both so they could not tell where one mind ended and the other began.

It was Rey who broke the kiss, pulling away. She felt Kylo's sense of loss, his fear that she was backing off. She scrambled to pull her tunic over her head, and laughed at his sudden surprise.

"You're not well," he murmured, his hands trying to stop her.

"I don't care, Kylo," she said, batting him away and getting the blasted thing off. "I want this, too."  She felt the surge of desire and dark pride at the sound of his chosen name. She answered with her own rush of need. <I want to know what you really feel like, not just a dream.> A flash of memory passed between them, from the dream on the Millenium Falcon, as Kylo pressed ruthlessly into her.

He groaned, grabbed her hips and yanked her to him roughly, and through their clothes she could feel that he was hard with wanting her. Rey had begun trying to unwind her chest binding, but abandoned the attempt in favor of shimmying out of her pants and underwear. He helped her eagerly, sliding down the berth to ease them off her feet. Grabbing one leg, he kissed his way up the inside of her knee, making her shiver.

<I need to know what you taste like, Rey.> She could feel his despiration, and tilted her hips up eagerly.

The feel of his hot tongue against her center was so intense that she cried out, arching her back hard. Kylo clutched her hips, pressing her into the padding of the berth, and ground his own hips downward against the sheets. He felt what she felt, and she knew he had almost climaxed right then and there.

Kylo laid his head against her thigh, eyes shut tight, and tried to breathe. Rey reached down and ran her fingers through his curls, soothing him, calming him. She could feel that he wanted this for her, wanted to do this _right_ but didn't think he could hold his own desire in check long enough.

<I don't think I can wait that long either,> she confessed. She reached for him, and he nodded, crawling back up her body as he shoved his own pants off his hips.

He found her center without trying, and pressed the merest fraction forward. Again, the sensation resonating between them was so intense that they both froze, gasping for breath. Kylo braced his forarms on either side of her shoulders, and leaned his forehead against hers.

"I don't want to hurt you," he gasped.

"You won't," she murmured back. Her hands traced the muscles that laced his sides, making them both shiver. <I need you inside of me,> she added silently, <I don't care about anything else.>

He let out a sound that was almost a sob, and began to press forward once more. He moved slowly, his entire frame trembling with the effort of it, giving her time to find the right angle to accept him. She wrapped her legs around his waist, drawing him in deeper. It was the most incredible sensation she had ever experienced, and it felt so unquestionably _right_. She felt full and warm and stretched in all the right ways. At last he had buried himself to the hilt, and he let his weight settle on her, his face tucked tight in the crook of her neck.

They stayed that way for a long moment, reveling in their mental connection made physical, made real. For the first time in her life, Rey felt as though she was exactly where she should be, felt as if she _belonged_. And Kylo, she felt through the bond, felt safe, felt like he had finally found where he was accepted. Tears pricked the corner of her eyes, and she felt Kylo blink them away.

Before long, though, it wasn't enough. Rey shifted her hips experimentally, not sure how much she could move with his weight pressing down on her. Kylo gasped and pressed against her harder.

"Stars, Rey, I can't..." Words failed him. <I don't think I'll last, I'm so sorry-->

<Stop,> Rey interrupted the thought. She tilted her hips again, could feel the effect on him, the way he ached to spill into her. She turned her head, kissing his neck until she found his ear, and ran her tongue around the edge of the shell.

"Kylo," she murmured. "I want you to come to me."

He was unstrung. He thrust into her, three quick jabs, and then shouted as his end came. Rey felt it, both the white hot lance of pleasure that shot through his body, and the answering crescendo in her own. She felt the warmth of him spilling into her, felt her body greedily drink him in. The echoes of their climax seemed to go on forever, reflecting back again and again through their bond, like an endless feedback loop.

When at last the tremors quieted enough that Rey could think again, she found herself laughing breathlessly. The bond between them was still open, so Kylo knew she wasn't laughing at him, but he was still confused and a little suspicious about the source of her amusement.

"It's just," she gasped between breaths, "I think I know why the Jedi forbade this," she joked.

The corners of Kylo's mouth twitched upwards. "They'd never get anything else done?"

She nodded enthusiastically, and ran a hand through her hair.

Moving carefully, Kylo turned to his side, but held her close so he stayed within her. Her desire had already begun to build again, and she felt his surprise as his own body responded in kind. Rey hooked her leg over his hip and moaned as she moved against him slightly. Distracted from his attempts to loosen her chest bindings, Kylo gasped and grabbed her hips as if to stop her.

"Slowly this time," he said firmly. "Please." The last was a quick amendment to stave off her sudden offense at being bossed around. His voice cracked endearingly on the plea, and Rey couldn't help but smile. She waited until he had worked the binding enough to push it down over the swell of her breasts. He palmed one, squeezing gently, and she whimpered, her hips twitching against him involuntarily.

Kylo smiled slowly, and then his eyes widened a little. She saw the idea in his mind, moved to fulfill it before she even considered it. They turned together until he was on his back, Rey atop him. He kept one hand at the bac of her skull to keep her from hitting the low roof of the berth, but she was so small she could almost sit up straight.

Rey braced her hands against his chest, still a little dizzy, and moved. His hands on her hips guided her, choosing a slow, steady rhythm like the waves that came rolling on the oceans of Ach-To. He grew hard and filled her, and she closed her eyes, feeling her own body grow tight around him.

No words passed between them, only motion and sensation, as they sought that blinding heat once more.

It was a long time before they left the berth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry you had to wait so long! I've been wrapped up with trying to get my original novel published. So if you know any literary agents or publishers who are looking for Urban Fantasy (specifically vampires) let me know!


	15. Sharing

They slept, and woke, made love, then slept again. Rey thought she might be content to go on like this forever, but eventually the baser needs of her body outweighed that of the bond between them.

In the 'fresher, she eyed the shower longingly. She remembered the first rain storm on Ach-To, how she had stood in the deluge, her very skin drinking in the wonder of it, until Master Luke had made her sit in the hut next to the fire lest she get sick.

She tried to imagine what it would be like if the rain was warm.

Fiddling with the controls, she initiated a blast of water, but it was freezing cold, and with a shriek she turned it off again.

<Are you alright?> Kylo asked through the bond.

<How do you work this blasted thing?> she demanded. She felt only a burst of amusement in return.

The door to the 'fresher opened, and Kylo imposed his overlarge frame on the narrow space. He was also, she remembered with a glance, completely naked. So was she. It seemed a lot more personal in the brightly-lit room.

"You'll want to set the temperature first," he said matter-of-factly, and moved a dial which was blue on one side and red on the other. "How hot do you like it?"

Rey blinked, trying to hide (unsuccessfully, if his continued amusement was any indication) what other thoughts his words provoked. "I don't know," she admitted. She shivered, the drops on her skin leeching the heat from her body. "Hot?"

Kylo moved closer to her, instinctively sharing the heat of his body. "You come from a very warm planet," he realized aloud, "and space is cold. But I don't want to scald you. Here." Shifting carefully, he moved so he stood between the spout and her, and then reached behind him to turn on the water.

Closing her eyes, Rey reveled in the warmth of the steam that quickly filled the small space. Rivulets of water trickled over Kylo's body and onto her. She didn't even remember closing the gap between them.

In turn, Kylo wrapped his arms around her, and standing as they were it was much more obvious just how tall he was. She felt dwarfed in his embrace, but through the bond she felt nothing but protectiveness.

A smile tugged the corner of her mouth. "I can't get clean if you protect me from the water," she pointed out.

Was it the heat that caused the flush in his face? She doubted it. But he turned, leaning against the wall behind her so she could stand beneath the flowing water.

It was amazing. Carefully, she turned the dial even higher, until the water nearly scalded her skin, stripping years of ground-in dirt and oil. Kylo ran his hands over her shoulders and back, gently massaging her skin, which made it all the more enjoyable.

"Here," he leaned forward and pressed another button, then caught a small stream of herb-scented soap in his palm. Rubbing his hands together, he started working it through her hair.

Rey whispered something highly inapropriate in huttese, and Kylo lifted an eyebrow but didn't offer any comment. Her scalp tingled with the scrape of his nails and the mild sting of the soap. Her eyes fluttered shut and for a while she just let herself feel.

After she rinsed her own hair, she let Kylo do his own. She wanted to help, but he was a little too tall to do so comfortably in such a small space. He didn't seem to relish it the same way, anyway, his motions rough and hurried, as if he'd rather be done with it as soon as possible.

He looked different with his hair plastered to his head. Strange. It brought home to her how little she knew of him, and she reached out to run a finger over a rivulet of water on his skin, just to prove to herself that he was real.

Once he was done, he turned the water off. Rey struggled not to pout, reminding herself what a waste of water it was, even if the ship did have a recycler. They stood, dripping, and waited for the sonics to dry them off.

Rey found herself studying the map of scars on Kylo's body. If she touched one, she could catch an echo of memory: a training accident, a hard-fought battle, a crash. In some ways his life had been even more brutal than hers.

Her hands wandered ever higher, finding that the gash in his bicep was made by Finn in her defense. Her own blow mirrored it on his other shoulder, and slowly, carefully, giving him every chance to move away, she brought her fingers to the line across his face.

Suddenly she was back on the dying Starkiller Base. _It's just us now,_ the memory of Kylo whispered. The 'fresher wall behind her became the gulf opening in the earth, the lingering steam of the shower was the heat radiating off the crossed blades between them.

_You need a teacher. I can show you the ways of the Force._

And her own response, to dive into his mind and take what she needed, forging the bond that thrummed between them now.

"You make me weak," Kylo murmured, pulling them both from the memory. One long-fingered hand wrapped itself around her throat, gently. "I should have just struck you down."

Rey just smiled sadly. "Do the Jedi and the Sith agree, then, that emotional bonds are a weakness?"

Kylo released her and turned away. "Yes."

"Well I think that's bantha-shit, honestly. Do you know what kept me going all those years in the desert? What kept me alive?" She asked.

"Sheer blind luck?" He guessed sarcastically.

"Love," she argued. "I don't even remember my family, but I know I had one. I know someone loved me. And I knew I had to be there when they came back."

He turned back, studying her. She felt a host of unspoken feelings welling in him, a cynical disbelief in the love of family, followed by a deep sympathy, as well as mild disbelief.

"Rey," he whispered. "I don't think your family is still alive."

Tears pricked the corners of her eyes. "I know. I've known for a long time. But that belief was all I had, until..."

Until her life had been turned upside-down, indirectly by Kylo Ren. She swallowed carefully, and tried a smile. "But now I have the Force, and my training, and my friends. And... this." She gestured helplessly to the space between them.

Kylo stared at her. She could feel his need to reciprocate, to open up to her and let her see within. But there was fear there, and caution, and the sincere doubt that she would like what she found.

Instead he reached for her physically, pulling her into a tight embrace. The sonics had done their work, and he buried his face in her now-dry hair. Rey returned the hug, lifting on her tip-toes to press her mouth to the side of his neck.

<Come back to bed,> he growled in her mind.

<Yes.>

\-------

Rey ate the last of another exquisite meal and sat back against the couch. After two cycles, her head was starting to clear. It was easier to tell where she ended and Kylo started. She wasn't constantly inundated with his emotions, and had to reach out to feel him. The bond between them had solidified, and no longer demanded that they be always within arms' reach. Kylo would have described the mood as "sated," Rey, "fulfilled."

They both didn't want to admit that their tryst would be over soon.

Rey watched him finish his meal. He ate slowly, relishing each bite and often talking to her while she crammed her face. But her speed gave her the advantage when she was done and she gained the upper hand in the conversation.

"You offered to train me," she said bluntly.

He raised an eyebrow, and straightened his spine a little. He pushed the remains of his meal away, and Rey frowned. Her tray was all but clean.

"The offer still stands," he said cautiously.

She crossed her arms, considering. "And what would you teach me?"

His other eyebrow joined the first. "Whatever you wanted to learn."

"I'm interested in your fighting skills," she admitted. "I only beat you because I got in your head. I know you have a lot of knowledge on the subject."

Smiling, he dipped his head in a show of false humility. "In that case, I have a gift for you." He stood and went to a storage case in the wall.

She blinked. "You planned for this?"

Turning after he tapped a sequence into the lock pad, Kylo gave her a wicked smile. "One advantage of not being morally uptight is the ability to plan for all outcomes, not just those you think should happen."

Rey scowled. "I'm not sure those two are related..." but her voice trailed off as he removed a long, cylindrical object from the compartment. "What is that?" She breathed.

He turned it over in his hands a few times, and gestured to the corridor. She stood to follow him, intrigued. "We'll need some space." When they reached the landing ramp, he took down a couple of belts, handing her one and putting on the other.

Rey studied the belt a moment, and found a switch. Putting it on, she flipped the switch, and suddenly felt heavy. She'd heard of gravbelts, but had never seen one in action, much less felt it.

Kylo hit the switch to lower the ramp. The atmosphere outside smelled like ozone and chlorine. "Do you know who Obi-wan Kenobi is?" he asked as they walked down the ramp.

She gave him a sidelong glance. "The Jedi you were named for?"

His withering glare did little to discourage her. "When he was still an apprentice, he and his Master fought a Sith Lord while defending my grandmother," he explained. They took a few long strides onto the rocky clearing, and Kylo turned to present the object to her with a flourish. "The Sith used a weapon of this design."

Rey regarded it as if it were a creature which might jump out and bite her. It looked something like a lightsaber, but it was much too long. Eventually curiosity won out, and she took the weapon gingerly. It had a pleasant weight to it, and her hands easily found the grips, nicely spaced in a familiar way. Thumbing the switch, she flinched as a blood-red blade erupted from the end.

The light of it reflected in Kylo's eyes, bringing back memories she'd rather have forgotten. A small smile tugged at his lips, and he reached forward to grab the hilt.

Rey's heart accellerated to an alarming rate, and she shuddered as one of his gloved hands covered hers, and with the other he pressed a button towards the butt of the handle.

And another blade extended from that end.

The disturbing sense of deja-vu was so strong that it took Rey several moments to realize what she held in her hands. It was a dual-bladed lightsaber. A staff.

"I've seen you fight with a staff." Kylo stepped back, crossing his arms. "And I've seen you fight with a lightsaber. You did well for a first try, but your skill with a staff is far more impressive."

Rey's cheeks flushed with the praise, and she hated herself for it. Absurdly, she hoped the red light of the weapon she held would hide it.

"Rather than have you completely re-learn your fighting style to accomidate a new weapon, I would propose you train with this," he gestured to the dual blade. "It would take some getting used to, but not nearly as much." Withdrawing the hilt of his own weapon, he ignited the ragged blade, giving her barely a moment's pause before lashing out with a few experimental swipes.

Her reactions were so natural she barely had to think of them. She parried the first blow, and caught the second on the other end, and was then able to make a quick jab with the first side, driving him back a little. It was perfectly balanced, and the motion felt right. It was so much easier than using a regular lightsaber.

 _The path to the darkness is easy, Rey,_ the memory of Luke's voice told her. _Shortcuts, laziness, and pride all belong to the Sith._

But it made so much sense.

That said, she loathed the weapon in her hands. She could feel the evil seeping off the crystals, like living things, one for each blade, and her palms itched. She felt that same urge to kill, to dominate, that she had the last time they had fought. She went on the offense, and while Kylo stayed calm and only deflected her blows, she saw something spark in his eyes and felt a thrum of lust and appreciation flow through their bond.

From the X-wing came a series of shrill whistles. BB-8, who had gone into low-power mode while waiting, had awoken to see them fighting and was alarmed. The ship's blasters swiveled towards Kylo and began to whine as they powered up. Rey whirled, positioning herself between them in a defensive position.

Putting her back to Kylo.

She felt a flicker of impulse from him, to strike at the advantage. To teach her the hard way, as he had been taught, to never turn your back on an opponent. But instead he powered down his lightsaber and dropped it on the floor,  raising both hands.

"It's okay, Beebee, we're just sparring," Rey explained quickly.

BB-8 began a torrent of beeps and whistles, complaining that it didn't _look_ like sparring, and when were they leaving, the others would be worried about them, and what was that weapon anyway?

Rey looked down at the red lightsaber and felt a wave of shame and nausea. She turned it off. "I'm sorry, I guess I lost track of time, " she lied. In truth, it was not time but the rest of the galaxy she had forgotten. She turned to Kylo. "I can't use this," she said, her voice weak.

Using the Force to retrieve his lightsaber, he shrugged as if it didn't matter to him. She could feel through their bond that he was hurt, though. "I don't care if you use it. Take it apart, replace the crystals. Rebuild a completely new one with your own improvements. Space it the minute you leave atmo. But my gift," he grinned, "is the knowledge. Such a thing exists, and you have the skills to use it like no other."

Rey doubted that was true. If it was knowledge he wanted to give her, why wait until they met in person? Taking a deep breath, Rey clipped the weapon onto her belt. "What happened?" She asked after a moment. "To Obi-wan and his master, and the Sith Lord?"

Kylo studied her, thinking. "Obi-wan defeated the Sith," he said bluntly, "in a fit of rage after his master was killed."

Rey frowned. Could that possibly be true? Or another fabrication of Snoke's? Could she dare ask Master Luke? Would he even know? Always more questions than answers, where Kylo was concerned.

There was a long moment of silence. BB-8 broke it by asking if he should power down again.

"No," Rey answered after a moment. "We should go soon." Her voice was small, but it carried easily in the cavern.

"Yes," Kylo agreed reluctantly. The bond between them tugged, but neither of them moved, testing their ability to resist it. After a moment, it subsided.

"Thank you," Rey said quietly, turning to prep the X-wing for flight, checking the exterior and powering up systems.

"For the lightsaber, or for letting you go?" He raised a sardonic eyebrow, his expression an echo of his father.

"Both," she laughed. "And for coming here in the first place."  He climbed up onto the port foil, checking a spot that had been hit by debris on the way in.

He looked away. "I'm not certain how much choice I had in the matter."

She knew what he meant. This thing between them, whatever it was, it was powerful. "Yes, but you could have taken advantage of the situation and you didn't."

His expression turned amused again, and he crossed his arms. <Didn't I?> he teased.

<You know what I mean,> she replied, her response laced with the vaguest hint of possible negative outcomes to their rendezvous. "And you didn't have to agree to help the Resistance," she added out loud.

"I have my own reasons for that," he said darkly. "You're right, you should go. Give..." he swallowed thickly, "make sure General Organa gets the intel we discussed."

Rey fought down a smile, but some of it leaked out through their bond. "I will." She checked the s-foils a third time and realized she was stalling. Kylo had stood in the same spot the entire time, watching her, as if rooted.

She hopped down onto the cavern floor, and the impact reminded her of the gravbelt she was wearing. "Oh yeah," she walked over to him,  switched it off, unbuckled it and handed it over. He took it without speaking. They stood there for a moment, unsure.

"Cycle it on and off," Kylo said suddenly.

"What?" Rey blinked.

"The gravometric drive. Two hours on, a quarter hour off. It will be enough to keep you comfortable without getting space sick again." He elaborated.

She couldn't say why, but Rey was suddenly overcome with a wave of emotion, and she threw her arms around Kylo, holding him tightly. After a startled moment, he returned the gesture, his cheek pressed against the top of her head.

<Come back to me, in your dreams,> he demanded, his voice desperate in her head.

<I will, I promise,> she answered.

The moment he loosened his grip she turned, hopped lightly up to the cockpit against the weak gravity, and began powering up the engines. She didn't look back until she was guiding the X-wing out of the cavern. Kylo stood, hair and robes whipping in the wind from her engines, like a tree rooted to the spot.

<When will I see you again?> The question hung between them, and Rey wasn't sure which of them had asked it, or what the answer was.

With a deep breath, Rey took her craft out into the Rishi Maze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Once again, it's been far too long since I've posted. I've been dealing with a lot of stuff, financial issues, family problems, trying to get my book published, and I just went through a big medical scare (I'm okay, test came back all clear). With all that stress, I just haven't had anything left over to write with.
> 
> But things are looking up. I got the DVD for my birthday and I've been obsessively watching the Reylo scenes, and it's really inspired me. I have big plans for this story, and I fully intend to continue it. That said, I can't make any promises in terms of how often I update. I want you to know I appreciate every single comment this story gets. They have made a huge difference for me, there have been a few times when one came on a really bad day and made my world a little brighter. 
> 
> So I suppose I'm asking for your patience. I'll do my best to keep plugging away if you'll keep reading. Thank you guys. ^.^


	16. Secrets

When Rey returned to the base on D'Qar, it was on the night side of the planet. It was dark and quiet, with only a few sentries up and about. She landed Poe's X-Wing carefully in the deserted hangar, and breathed a sigh of relief. She wasn't sure she could handle a crowd of people right now. BB-8 dropped down through the astromech slot and whistled sleepily as he rolled away. It had been a long flight.

Rey made sure to check over the ship,  though. There had been some more minor damage on the way out of the Rishi Maze, as she no longer had the beacon of her bond with Kylo to navigate by. She found a rather significant dent in the starboard hull and sighed wearily. She would fix it now, and sleep later. There was a work station nearby, and it would have all the tools she would need.

She was all set up and just about to start heating the duristeel when she felt something odd. Turning toward the hangar door, she frowned at it. Then it opened, and Poe came dashing through it, stopping to glance around frantically. BB-8 came rolling after him.

"Rey!" he shouted when he spotted her. He ran over, slowing down as he got close. "What are you doing?"

Rey glanced down at the tools in her hands. "Fixing your ship. I put some pretty bad dents in it."

Poe let out a breathless laugh. "You don't have to do that, here," he took the tools from her hands and set them down on the floor. Rey noticed that his curly hair was disheveled and he wore loose clothes. He must have just woken up.

Standing up, Poe put his hands on her shoulders. "Are you okay?"

Blinking, Rey nodded. "I'm a little tired, but I'm fine. What's wrong?"

Poe sighed with relief. "Beebee-ate came and told me what happened, who you ran into. He showed me a holo..."

Rey groaned,  realizing how bad the last few minutes of the mission would look. "You saw us fighting?" she guessed.

"Yes, and..." Poe searched for words, "what happened after."

Rey glared over his shoulder at the droid. BB-8 warbled that he had done it out of concern.

"Rey, it's okay," the pilot drew her attention back, squeezing her shoulders gently. "I had a run-in with that bastard, too. I know what he can do,  how he can..." he choked up a little, and Rey felt a wave of fear and anguish roll off of him. "He can get inside your head."

"Oh, Poe," she said softly, realizing what must have happened. Poe was one of the people Kylo had tortured before her. She hugged him tightly. "I'm so sorry that happened to you."

He returned the hug a moment,  and the two comforted each other. Rey let go first, and took a deep breath. "But that's not what happened. I mean, he tried, back on Starkiller Base, but it didn't work. Actually," a smile crept onto her features, "I kind of gave him a taste of his own medicine."

Poe backed up a step, his expression caught between impressed and fearful. "But then..."

Rey sighed. "When I did that, it formed some kind of connection between us. When I have dreams, sometimes he has them too. He was the one who told me about the attack on Correllia. I went to the Rishi Maze to meet him in person, as a proof of trust. You heard what we said, right?"

"Yeah, but," he shook his head, "do you have any idea how crazy that sounds? He could be controlling you--"

"He's not. He can't," Rey argued.

"You might not even know it!" Poe insisted.

"True,  but Master Luke would."

That stumped Poe. "Luke Skywalker knows about all this?"

"Yes."

"And he let you go?" he seemed incredulous.

Rey rolled her eyes. "Yes, Poe. He agreed that it was necessary. You know who Kylo Ren was, right?"

Poe glanced over his shoulder, although Rey wasn't sure if he was looking for Leia or the man himself. "Yes, but--"

"Then you know that if there's any chance to bring him back,  his family will take it," Rey interrupted.

"He killed Han!" Poe nearly shouted.

"Han died trying to save him," she corrected. "I was there, Poe. He touched his face. I'm just trying to carry on the same mission." Rey blinked, she hadn't realized the words were true until she had spoken them.

Poe shook his head again, and sat hard on the floor. After a moment,  Rey sat next to him. "I'm sorry, Poe. What he did to you was horrible, I'm not trying to excuse that at all. It was evil. But _he's_ not evil, at least not wholly, and if there's a chance I can help him turn his back on that evil I'll take it."

Staring off in the middle distance, her friend seemed to consider her words. He looked haggard and exhausted, but he wasn't angry anymore. After a moment he frowned. "Then why were you fighting?"

"We were sparring," she explained. She pulled the dual ended lightsaber from her belt. "He gave me this, it's more like the staff I fight with than a typical lightsaber. He thought I would be more comfortable using it, and I was taking it for a spin when Beebee woke up."

Poe made a rueful face and nodded. "I saw on the holo. I was half asleep. But then, afterwards..." he looked at Rey, trying to understand.

Rey wasn't able to hold his gaze. How could she explain what she felt for Kylo when she barely understood it herself? "We've been inside each other's heads," she reasoned. "It's... a very vulnerable, intimate thing, for both of us." She cringed as Poe put it together and looked vagely betrayed and disgusted. "I didn't choose to feel this way for him, okay?" she snapped, hurt.

To her surprise, his expression suddenly softened, and he let out a incredulous chuckle. "I guess not. I don't think anyone gets to choose that." He stared off into the distance, thinking. She could feel a swirl of emotions circling him: bitterness, anxiety, longing, and strongest of all...

"You're in love with Finn," she realized out loud.

A tiny smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. "Stars and moons help me, yes."

Rey sifted through the remaining emotions. "He doesn't feel the same way?" she guessed.

"I don't know." Poe buried his face in his hands. "Sometimes I'm almost certain, and others I wonder if he's totally oblivious."

"You haven't told him?" Rey was shocked.

"What if he doesn't feel the same way? What if he doesn't even like men? If I say something, it could ruin the best friendship I've ever had." Poe sounded absolutely miserable. She could tell he'd been stressing out about it for some time.

She put her hand on his shoulder. "If you _don't_ say anything, it will just fester inside you and ruin your friendship anyway."

Glancing up, he smiled ruefully. "Is that your advice as a Jedi?" he teased.

"As a friend. Although," she made a helpless gesture, "obviously I'm probably not the best source, considering."

They shared a laugh. "Kylo Ren," Poe muttered, shaking his head. "Is he always that... intense?"

Rey found herself blushing. "Um. Yeah."

"Finn is never going to believe this."

"Actually... could you not tell Finn? Or anyone? If it were to somehow get back to the First Order, Kylo could be in great danger." Rey shifted uncomfortably. If she was perfectly honest, she just didn't want anyone to know.

Poe looked pained. "Alright, and I'll have Beebee-ate erase the holo, but... I think General Organa should see it first."

Standing up,  Rey nodded. "But wait until after I leave to show her. I don't think I can take another interrogation from her."

He stood as well. "I guess the Jubi Fruit doesn't fall far from the tree, huh?"

Rey laughed, amazed at his ability to make light of the situation. "No, I suppose not."

\----

The next morning, Rey woke early and typed up an official report for General Organa. She made it as professional as possible, using phrases like "established a rapport" and "ascertained motivations." At the end she mentioned that Commander Dameron could be consulted for "additional information." She found C-3P0 and gave it to him to deliver, telling him to come find her as soon as he was done because she was planning to leave as soon as possible. That should give her a couple hours.

She found Finn in the hangar, reclining stiffly in a chair as he watched Poe work on the X-wing. She jumped right in to help, laughing and chatting with the boys like nothing had happened the night before. When Finn wasn't looking,  Poe gave Rey a significant glance and jerked his head towards the former stormtrooper.

Rey knew what he was asking. He wanted her to use her Jedi powers to try and feel out how Finn felt towards him. She sighed, not sure that was really an appropriate use of her powers, but she felt she owed Poe, big time. Choosing a particularly complicated piece of equipment to fiddle with, she let Poe and Finn chat for a bit. While she worked,  she extended her senses towards Finn. There was affection there, for certain, and maybe even attraction, but it was all wrapped up in a mess of confusion, self-doubt and discomfort. Was he falling for Poe but uncomfortable about it? Or had he sensed Poe wanted more than friendship and that made him uneasy?

"Is that doohicky giving you an attitude?" Finn asked her suddenly.

Rey shook herself, laughing nervously. "Sorry, I was parsecs away." She moved to apply the equipment to the hull, smoothing out the smaller dents and scratches.

"Hey how'd your mission go?" Finn asked excitedly.

"...Good," she said evasively. Poe eyed her with a half-hidden grin.

"I suppose you probably can't tell us much," Finn mused, clearly put out but professional about it.

Rey sighed and put the smoother down. "No. But I got this," she pulled the lightsaber from her belt and held it out.

Finn sat up sharply, wincing after the fact. "Is that what I think it is?"

Her stomach sank. She forgot, with his training, that Finn might recognize the weapon. Poe turned from his work, intrigued.

"Go on then, give us a demonstration!" Finn was grinning, excited.

Rey glanced around the hangar. This early in the morning it was fairly deserted, and she certainly had enough room. The weapon in her hand thrummed, begging to be unleashed. Against her better judgement, she stepped out into the open space and ignited first one, then the second blade. The sound of its humming echoed against the metal walls and ships, making it sound like a swarm of angry Khatzit beetles.

But it felt amazing.

She started out slow, with a few turns and twirls. Finn pantomimed firing a blaster at her, and she deflected the imaginary shots. Slowly, she got a feel for the weapon, making her moves faster and more complex. She felt a rush of exhilaration, alive with power, and ready to kill--

That last thought made her freeze. She powered down the weapon quickly, surprised by how out of breath she was. Finn clapped enthusiastically, but Poe stood with arms crossed, frowning. For a moment she felt a wash of shame, as if he had somehow overheard her thoughts.

"Oh, come on,  Poe, that was amazing!" Finn chided him.

"Why's it red, Rey?" Poe asked, as if he hadn't even heard Finn.

Ah. The holo Poe had watched was not in full color, and wouldn't have conveyed that particular detail. "It's a Sith weapon," she admitted, "or designed after one, anyway."

Finn turned suddenly serious, too. "That's right, I forgot. The Jedi usually used Green or Blue, right?"

"The crystals are colorless to start with," Poe sounded as if he were reciting a lesson. "In the process of creating his lightsaber, a jedi will attune the crystal to himself, and the color will change according to his temperament. Showing his true colors, if you will."

"I didn't make this one," Rey said quickly. "In fact, I don't think I'll keep it." She weighed the handle in both hands. She didn't like the way it made her feel. "But if Master Luke allows me, I think I would like to make my own, with the same design."

Poe relaxed. "That's a good idea. Do you want us to help you find the parts?"

"No," Rey said softly. She could see C-3P0 shuffling toward them at his maximum speed. "I think I know where I need to go for that."

She made her goodbyes quickly, promising to call as often as she could. When Poe gave her another inquisitive look over Finn's shoulder, Rey shrugged. His guess was as good as hers.

Turning, she prepared to argue with C-3P0 about the summons she expected from Leia. But when he finally reached them, he gave a curt little bow and said "Master Chewbacca says the Millennium Falcon is ready to depart whenever you are, Miss Rey."

Rey blinked. "General Organa doesn't need to see me first?"

"Oh no," 3P0 said cheerfully. "She said your report was very thorough, and she was sure you were anxious to return to your training."

"Of course..." Rey was a little puzzled. She'd nearly disobeyed a direct order, but then she supposed she didn't really answer to Leia in that way.

Poe clapped her on the back. "The General is pretty good at reading between the lines," he reasoned, "but Beebee-ate and I'll field any follow up questions she might have.

"Thanks," she said, _and thanks for keeping my secrets_ , she added silently. "Okay, Threepio, let's go."

"Of course,  Miss Rey!" He said cheerfully, and followed quickly after.

Chewie rumbled a greeting when she walked up the landing ramp, and wrapped her in one of his familiar hugs.

"Sorry I kept you waiting here," she said sheepishly.

He waved a paw dismissively and chuffed that it gave him time to catch up with Leia. He and Han had been out wandering the galaxy for years before Rey ran into them, and he'd missed her, even if she did occasionally call him a walking carpet. They made their way into the cockpit, and as they sat down Chewie started entering the coordinates for the first jump on the way to Ach-To.

"Actually, can we make one stop on the way back? I have something I need to pick up," she said quietly.

Chewie let out a sarcastic sigh and teasingly asked her where she wanted to go _now._

Rey felt a wave of anxiety at the prospect of her destination, and laughed. Just a few months ago, she wanted nothing more than to go back. She took a deep breath, and tapped in the coordinates.

"Jakku."

\---------

Leia sat at her desk, took a deep breath--slowly, so an observer would think she was only collecting her thoughts--and nodded to the little astromech droid. Commander Dameron had warned her that the holo started violently. That, coupled with Rey's choice not to visit her in person, made her suspect the worst, despite how positive the official report had sounded. Dameron had seemed very uneasy about the content of the holo, and so she braced herself for what she might see.

To her surprise, though, when the images formed they showed Rey attacking a dark-clad figure. She weilded a double-bladed lightsaber, and he--

With a lurch Leia recognized first the cruciform blaze of his shabby lightsaber, and _then_ the face of her son. He wore no mask, and his exposed features revealed the man that he had grown into. This must have been the face that Han had seen, just before.... She shoved that thought away, and hungrily studied the image. Rey's attacks were on the offense, viciously pressing him for the advantage, and for one brief moment she felt an irrational, instinctual urge to protect him. But on second glance, he looked as if he were very much enjoying Rey's onslaught. 

Then BB-8 interrupted the fight, and Rey turned, _putting her back to her opponent._

"Pause it," she ordered, and the droid froze the figures in front of her. She moved a little to one side so she could see B--Kylo Ren's face, blocked by Rey's now defensive posture. He was surprised, but it was not the gleeful surprise of an advantage spotted. No, she knew her son well enough to recognize that Rey's mistake concerned him deeply. 

_She doesn't see him as a threat, and that bothers him,_ she deduced.

"Start it up again," she said softly.

She watched as Kylo dropped his lightsaber and held up his hands casually. She'd seen that kind of surrender a hundred times from Han, and didn't trust it for a moment. _Han would have dropped his blaster where he could kick it back up or grab another. Ben wouldn't even need to do that, with the Force._

"It's okay, Beebee, we're just sparring," Rey's holographic figure explained quickly.

There was a long string of sounds from the droid, too fast for Leia to follow, but it seemed to make Rey very uncomfortable. The young girl turned off her lightsaber and apologized. Then she turned to face Kylo Ren once more. 

"I can't use this," she said quietly. 

Using the Force to retrieve his lightsaber, _exactly_ as Leia had predicted, he shrugged. Leia knew that shrug, knew it hid pain, had watched him try to use it to exit arguments a thousand times. "I don't care if you use it. Take it apart, replace the crystals. Rebuild a completely new one with your own improvements. Space it the minute you leave atmo. But my gift," he grinned, "is the knowledge. Such a thing exists, and you have the skills to use it like no other."

It was the first he had spoken in the holo. When she had last seen him, her son's voice had long since stopped breaking whenever he became emotional, and had solidified into a strong tenor. In the years since, it had dropped further into a rich baritone, which the holo had some trouble reproducing. He had never been a loud child, and it surprised her, after all the violent acts he had committed, that he still spoke softly. 

After a moment's hesitation, Rey clipped the weapon onto her belt. "Thank you."

Kylo nodded, dignified in a way her awkward son had never been. 

"What happened?" Rey asked. "To Obi-wan and his master, and the Sith Lord?" They seemed to be continuing a conversation that was begun before the holo recording. 

"Obi-wan defeated the Sith," Kylo said bluntly, "in a fit of rage after his master was killed."

There was a long moment of silence. BB-8 broke it by asking if he should power down again. 

"No," Rey answered. "We should go soon." Her voice was small.

"Yes," Kylo agreed, but it didn't sound as if he meant it.

"Thank you," Rey moved out of the view of the holo recorder, probably to prep the ship. Kylo was left standing alone, watching her with an expression that was unreadable, even to Leia.

"For the lightsaber, or for letting you go?" He raised an eyebrow, and Leia felt a pang as she recognized his father in him. 

"Both," Rey laughed. "And for coming here in the first place."

He looked away. "I'm not certain how much choice I had in the matter." _Now that's interesting_ , Leia thought. Judging by the stubborn set of his chin he was honestly irritated on some level. Rey had given Leia the impression that Kylo had demanded they meet. What sway did the young Jedi have over him?

"Yes, but you could have taken advantage of the situation and you didn't." Rey pointed out. 

His expression turned amused again, and he crossed his arms. Leia half expected him to make a joke, but he said nothing. 

"And you didn't have to agree to help the Resistance," Rey added. 

"I have my own reasons for that," he said darkly. "You're right, you should go. Give..." he hesitated, "make sure General Organa gets the intel we discussed."

Leia felt a wave of emotion wash over her. She had fought to keep her observation detached and professional, but here she lost that control. Her son was still in there, still thought of her. Her vision blurred and she almost missed when Rey reappeared in the holo, handing something to him. She quickly wiped her eyes and studied the flickering images more carefully. 

The two figures stood there for a moment, strangely awkward. 

"Cycle it on and off," Kylo said suddenly. 

"What?" Rey tilted her head, bird-like. 

"The gravometric drive. Two hours on, a quarter hour off. It will be enough to keep you comfortable without getting space sick again." He elaborated. 

_Space sick?_ Leia wondered. With a flash of insight, she realized what must have happened. Rey, unused to interstellar travel, had turned off her gravometric drive for several cycles. She would have collapsed within an hour after arriving, leaving her completely vulnerable. And yet....

Suddenly Leia's thoughts were completely disrupted as the two figures embraced. Leia knew Rey was fond of hugging, but Ben had always been wary of any physical contact, his strength in the Force making him oversensitive to others' emotions. But he returned the gesture, holding Rey's tiny form against him tightly, posessively, fearfully. There was no awkwardness in the way they touched each other, no hesitation or jostling to find a comfortable place. That told Leia more than any profession of feelings ever could.

Rey and Kylo were lovers.

More than that, they were _in love._

They clung to each other for several long moments, as if they were afraid to let go. The moment he loosened his grip, Rey bolted from his arms, as if she didn't trust her resolve if she lingered another moment. 

No more words were exchanged. Rey left the frame of the holo recorder, and soon after the figure of Kylo Ren began to rotate and shrink, as the ship pulled away. He stood, as if his feet were fused to the rocky floor, and watched the ship depart. He looked lost and afraid, and Leia shuddered as she recalled the last time she had seen that expression on his face: the last time she had left him at Luke's Jedi Academy. 

Static dissolved the image and then it cut out. 

The astromech droid warbled an apologetic explanation that the magnetic interference from the Rishi Maze had interfered with the function of the holo recorder.

"That's all right," Leia said, surprised at how rough her voice sounded. She cleared her throat and took a few shaky breaths. "Play it again, please."

She watched the entire recording once more, and everything she saw only confirmed her suspicion. It would also explain why Rey was reluctant to meet with her in person--she would be embarrassed to answer any questions about what had taken place. Once it was done, she thanked the little droid, and then gave the order for him to erase the recording. She considered the implications of what she had just seen.

Pressing a button on her desk, she asked that Poe Dameron be sent back in. The pilot looked intensely uncomfortable. 

"I took the liberty of asking your droid to delete the recording," she said casually once the door had closed. 

He relaxed marginally. "Rey had requested that as well," he agreed, "but I thought you should see it first."

Leia smiled a little. "Thank you for your consideration. I take it you have discussed the content of the recording with her then?"

Immediately, he looked unsettled once more. "Yes..." he agreed reluctantly. 

"I understand your hesitation to discuss this matter considering my relationship with the informant, but I need to know if you suspect that he is influencing Rey. I imagine you have a better idea than most what he is capable of," she said gently.

Poe grimaced, and took a seat opposite her desk. "That was my concern, too. But she says... something happened. When she was on Starkiller Base he tried to... interrogate her, as he did with me, and, maybe because she's a Jedi, somehow it sort of backfired. She got into his head. And that connection didn't go away. They started sharing dreams or something."

Leia nodded. "I'm aware of the Force Bond that was forged between them. It's one of the reasons I'm willing to trust the information she brings us, I doubt such a connection would make deceit easy."

Poe looked as if he hadn't considered that possibility. "She said it was a very vulnerable experience for both of them, and very... intimate." He shuddered. "I can't say as I understand, really, except that when he took the location of the map from my mind, I did feel very vulnerable. I felt... used, violated. I've never been raped, ma'am, but I can't help but imagine that it feels like that." He was staring at his hands, and drew in a long breath before looking up again. 

"But I guess, maybe, if it was done gently, mutually, and with consent..." he shrugged, "then it follows that it would be an intensely intimate experience." He looked as if he had eaten a particularly underripe piece of citreol.

"Did she tell you they are lovers?" Leia asked bluntly, her voice emotionless and matter of fact. 

Here, he seemed guarded. "Well, she didn't precisely say..."

Leia shifted in her chair. "Commander Dameron, you first met Rey after the battle on Starkiller Base, correct?"

"Yes Ma'am," he answered formally. 

"And since she left to begin her training, this mission is the first time you saw her again?"

"Yes Ma'am, however we were in frequent contact while Finn was recovering and we quickly got along," he elaborated. "She's just the kind of person who makes friends fast, I think."

"So you would say you know Rey well?"

Poe nodded. "About as well as anyone except Finn. Or, I guess, maybe, _him_." He frowned.

"Are you attracted to her?" Leia asked quickly. She did not expect an open, honest answer, but his reaction would tell her what she needed to know. 

To her surprise, Poe laughed and shook his head. "No, Ma'am. She's a sweet girl, but she's... not my type, shall we say?"

Leia caught on easily enough. She'd heard some rumors that the dashing pilot had caught the eye of more than a few of the female Resistance fighters but all such tales had ended in gentle, albeit heartbreaking rejection. She had wondered if he remained unattached to stay focused on his flying, or because his heart was secretly set on a girl already, but this made far more sense. 

"As her friend, then, would you say that she has become genuinely emotionally involved with her informant? It's important that I know, for security reasons," Leia half-fibbed. It was not, after all, the _only_ reason she wanted to know. 

Poe let out a long sigh. "Yes." He shook his head. "I don't understand it, but yes. I guess, I keep coming back to this: when he took the information from my head, he didn't make me _want_ to give it to him. He just went digging around in my memories. I fought him, every inch of the way, and it took him a long time. If he could have changed the way I felt towards him, I think he would have. It would have made his job easier. So I don't think he's even capable of the kind of influence we're talking about, especially on someone like Rey, who was strong enough to beat him at his own game."

Leia leaned back in her chair. "That is a very good point." After a moment's consideration, she nodded. "You're dismissed, Commander Dameron. And thank you very much for your help. I'm glad Rey has found such a good friend in you."

The pilot stood, still uneasy. "I don't know, maybe a better friend would have tried to talk her out of it."

Leia smiled. "I doubt anyone in the galaxy can talk that girl out of anything," she laughed. 

Poe shared the laugh. "You got that right." He saluted and left, his astromech droid rolling after him cheerfully. 

_Well_ , Leia thought, thoroughly relieved by what he had told her, _I think it's time I called my brother_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, another chapter! This was largely inspired by dressing up as Rey for May the Fourth, it really got me in the right head space to write this. 
> 
> I have a question for you, dear readers:
> 
> There are two scenes I have in mind, one with Poe and Leia and another with Poe and Finn. But thus far the narrative has always followed either Rey or Kylo. Should I include these scenes, even though neither of them is present? Or should I skip right to Rey going back to Jakku and just imply the scenes happened later? Whatever you guys want, I'll do.
> 
> Let me know, and thanks for reading!
> 
> EDIT: I got a 50/50% response on the extra scenes, so I wrote a short one with just Leia and Poe and tacked it on to the end of this chapter. I had a lot of fun writing Leia, I've always imagined that all of her untapped Jedi potential got sublimated into her work as a politician, and she would be an amazing people-reader.


	17. Home Sweet Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a 50/50% response on whether I should add scenes without Rey or Kylo in them, so I wrote a short one with Leia and Poe and tacked it on to the end of the previous chapter. If you like you can go back and read it, but it's not super important to the plot so you can just keep going if you prefer! Enjoy!

As Chewbacca carefully set the Millennium Falcon down on the uneven sand of Jakku, Rey peered out through the cockpit with a surreal sense of familiarity. Niima Outpost had been rebuilt for the most part - not terribly difficult when most of it consisted of makeshift tents and duristeel shacks. The gateway was the only clue that there had ever been an attack. It stood, tilted, shattered and scorched. But a newcomer would have no way of telling how long it had been in disrepair; it matched the shabbiness of its surroundings.

Chewie asked if she wanted company, but he didn't sound enthusiastic. She imagined the heat of the desert would be miserable under all that fur.

"No, I think you should stay with the Falcon. Someone will probably try to steal it, or steal parts off of it, so you'll have to keep a close eye on it." She grabbed a pack and slung it on her back. It contained more food and water than she had ever seen in one place on Jakku, and she would need to be equally watchful. She touched the Sith weapon on her belt, and through the Force it hummed suggestions as to what could be done with would-be thieves. She really hoped it didn't come to that.

On the way to Jakku, she had partially disassembled the dual-bladed lightsaber. Mostly she just opened the casing and peered within to see what kind of components she would need. The inner workings seemed very delicate and fit together ingeniously. She had no idea how something like that could be assembled without the benefit of a sterile room. She supposed she would have to ask Luke. _Or Kylo_ , she mused. _On second thought, no_. His lightsaber clearly lacked the economy and efficiency she saw, so he probably didn't know either.

"Be careful, Miss Rey," C-3P0 said mournfully. "Deserts can be dangerous, full of brigands and scavengers."

"I know," Rey grinned. "I used to be one." She hit the controls to lower the ramp, and felt the heat of Jakku wash over her. To most people it would be oppressive and stifling--Poe had described it as being like walking into the backdraft of a fighter on idle--but to her, it was _home_.

Taking a few steps out onto the sand, she felt the heat seeping up through her shoes. The sun beat down on her hair and shoulders. She took a deep breath of the dry, dusty air. Her skin broke out in a fine sheen of sweat--she had long since washed away the layers of oil that had protected her before. The heat began to worm it's way into her body from every direction, and for the first time in weeks she felt warm and comfortable.

Setting out, she began wandering through the tents and stalls of the bustling outpost. She had no desire to deal with Unkar Plutt, in fact if she could avoid him entirely, so much the better. So instead she peered over the shoulders of scavengers who were preparing their finds for sale. Almost immediately, she spotted something of use.

"Is that a flux aperture?" she asked carefully.

As expected, the scavenger hid the piece of electronics in the folds of his robe. "What's it to you?" he snapped.

She shrugged, staying casual. This was the easiest part to find, and she wasn't much concerned. "I'm willing to trade for it, and I can promise a better return than Plutt."

The man cackled, revealing broken teeth. At first she had thought he was an old man, but she realized that the lines and creases on his face were mostly oil and dust. "Plutt? That old stingy sack of grease is dead. Tried to make a deal with the wrong man, I guess. Folks say he cut the bastard in two, right in the street. Just _schwick!_ " The man made a passable imitation of the sound of a lightsaber and a cutting gesture with his hand. "No more Unkar Plutt. But the _sleemo_ who took his place isn't much better." He eyed her pack hungrily. "Whatchya got?"

Rey stared at the man blankly for a moment. There was no mistaking who the "wrong man" in the story was, and she knew for a fact that he had been on Jakku recently. The scavenger she was talking to shifted a step back from her, suspicious, and she forced herself to stay focused.

"Um, food. Real food, not rations. And pure distilled water." She brought her pack around, but didn't open it yet.

The man gave a low whistle, and looked around to make sure no one was listening. "Anything else you lookin' for?"

She smiled. "Yes. I need two field energizers, a power modulator, two emitter matrices, four stabilizing rings, another flux aperture, an diatum power cell no wider than three centimeters, a few activation switches and... well... some... crystals."

The man nodded through most of the list, thinking hard, until she came to the last item. "What kind of crystals?"

She shook her head. "I don't know, really. They're not important, I can probably find them elsewhere."

He made a face, as if trying to puzzle out what she could possibly need those particular items for. "Well most of those parts I can get for you, or I know someone who has 'em, but the power cell is a problem. I ain't never heard of one that small turning up recently, they're mighty valuable and the first thing to get stripped."

Rey nodded thoughtfully. She had one stashed in her old AT-AT but had hoped to avoid going out that far. "Alright, let's see to the rest of it then."

The scavenger led her to a small tent. "Wait here, I'll be back in a bit with my parts, and I'll ask a few friends to come too." Without another word, he scampered back into the maze of structures.

Rey lifted the front flap of the tent and peered into the dark interior.

"Rey? Is that you?" came a feeble voice.

As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, Rey made out the figure of an old woman sitting on the dusty floor.

"Merle?" Rey dropped to the ground beside her, staring in horror at the stump where the woman's leg ended. "What happened?"

But the woman was far more interested in her, putting her dirty, thin hands on her face as if to check if she was real. "My stars, Rey, I thought for sure you had died!"

"No, Merle, I got away. In the old Corellian freighter that Plutt had sitting around forever," Rey said distractedly. "Merle, your leg..."

Merle waved a hand and shifted the leg stiffly. "Lost it in that fight. Roof of a shack fell on me, by the time they got me out it had gone bad. Had to take it off or I'd have gone to the desert right quick. Still a bit chancy, really. Once it finishes healing up, Drudo has an old droid leg he thinks he can fix on'ta it, and I'll be good as new. I been cleaning his finds for him, and he keeps me fed and watered."

Rey read between the lines. Merle had essentially sold herself to Drudo, who could expect to get the best of her finds for the rest of her life. Which, honestly, in this junkyard, wasn't likely to be long. _I sound like Finn,_ she realized. "Do you mind if I take a look?" She asked cautiously.

Merle made a helpless gesture. "It ain't pretty, I'll warn you."

Rey carefully untied the stained, dirty bandages, and looked at the amateur amputation. The smell told her everything she needed to know: Merle wasn't going to last much longer at all without proper medical treatment. She bound it back up without saying anything.

"Where have you been, girl?" the old scavenger asked, clearly ignoring the rancor in the room.

"Offworld," Rey smiled, indulging her. "I've been training to be a Jedi," she whispered conspiratorially.

"A Jedi?" The seamed, grimy face lit up. "I thought they were all killed!"

She shook her head. "Just very hard to find. But you know me, I am very good at finding things."

Merle chuckled. "That you are, girl. But why in the heavens did you come back?"

At that moment, the man she had spoken to before returned. It turned out he was Drudo, and he had a very nice selection of parts for her to go through. She was even able to find a set of four matching activation switches that were perfect. After a few minutes, a Sullustan came by with a collection of emitter matrices and stabilizing rings. It was difficult to find parts that would match up, but eventually she managed to piece together a full set. Now she just needed the power cell back at the AT-AT and some blasted crystals.

She doled out her food and water to Drudo and the Sullustan, and gave Merle some as well. The payment far exceeded the value of the parts, but she didn't mind. There were more than enough provisions for her and Chewie on the Falcon, and they could always resupply on the way to Ach-To. She just wished she could do _more._

Business concluded, she hugged Merle and made her farewells. There might be something on the ship that could help her, but she didn't want to make any promises she couldn't keep. As she made her way back to the Falcon, she checked the angle of the sun. There was only a little more than an hour of daylight left. She would go to the AT-AT first and then scour the medstation after dark.

Rey found Chewie arguing with a Teedo who stood suspiciously close to one of the landing struts. They were both gesticulating wildly, but it was obvious even from a distance that no communication was taking place. She stepped between the two of them, trying to exude a sense of calm and order. Chewie chuffed that she should let him pull the Teedo's arm off, but at her stern glance he sighed and turned to watch the boarding ramp, bowcaster in hand.

She then tried to tell off the Teedo herself. He understood her perfectly--she was fluent in his native tongue--but he still wasn't listening. Finally she lost her patience. Taking a deep breath, she pulled on the Force and gently extended one hand.

"There is nothing wrong with this ship and you do not need to make repairs to it," she said firmly in common.

The Teedo repeated the phrase mechanically. That part was easy, since it was technically true and he was just trying to scam them. She pressed a little harder, moving her hand slowly across his field of vision. "There is also nothing of value here for you to steal. It's just a heap of worthless junk."

Behind her, Chewie whined his disagreement. She ignored him and listened to the Teedo repeat the words. He turned and shuffled off, obviously a little confused.

Rey let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding. That had been almost as difficult as the first time she tried it, despite Master Luke's training. A fragment of Kylo's stolen memories drifted through her mind: it was the sort of thing that only got easier through practice. She shuddered. She didn't think she wanted to _practice_ messing with others' minds.

Once on the ship, Rey reassured Chewie that she had only said that to make the Teedo go away, and started prepping for the short trip to her old bolt hole. It wasn't far, and they kept the ship low so she could navigate by the desert landscape. Within a quarter hour, they were setting down in the loose, shifting sand beside the overturned imperial walker.

She took her time walking the short distance between the vehicles. It had only been a few months, but everything about her old home seemed strange somehow. It looked smaller and far shabbier than she remembered. No wonder Kylo was shocked that she had lived there. To someone like him, who had grown up in the luxury of Coruscant, it must have seemed like absolute squalor.

Resting her hand on the sheet of durasteel that served as a door, she felt the residual heat of the sun that was now setting on the other side of the craft.

 _Kylo was here last_ , she thought. _He was here, in my home_.

Without thinking, Rey ducked to the left just as the door was blasted outward. A woman dressed in rags rushed out behind it, screaming a battle cry and wielding a sharpened strip of plasteel. If Rey hadn't been nearly in a meditative state, she might not have sensed the attack and would likely be seriously injured.

But she _did_ sense it, and by the time the woman realized that Rey had dodged the door, she had the red lightsaber ignited and raised above her head, ready to strike. It was only the expression of fear and _recognition_ that shocked her out of killing the woman. She turned the blade off, swallowing a wave of nausea and trying to catch her breath.

"It's okay," she gasped. "I don't want to hurt you."

The woman scowled, pointing her makeshift weapon at her. "What do you want? We ain't got nothing, you hear?"

Rey shook her head. "I... This is where I used to live. I just came to get a couple things, nothing important."

"Mommy, what's going on?" A tiny girl, younger even than Rey had been when she was left on Jakku, stood in the doorway. In her arms she clutched Rey's Rebel Pilot doll. Beneath the grime, her hair was a shocking shade of red-orange.

"I told you to stay inside, Leora!" the woman yelled, panicked.

From the Millennium Falcon came Chewie's roar--backup was coming.

Fighting against the rush of fear that surrounded her, Rey found her center and became absolutely calm. She then extended that calm like one of the great waves of Ach-To, washing it over woman, child, and Wookie alike. There was a moment of silence, and Rey finally caught her breath.

"You're the one he was looking for," the woman said quietly. "The Dark Man who killed Unkar Plutt."

Rey opened her eyes. "Yes."

Despite the soothing effect Rey was still emitting, her eyes darted about. "Oh gods, what if he comes back?"

"He won't," Rey said softly. "He already found me."

With a deep sigh of relief, she finally lowered her weapon and sagged against the walker. Her daughter came out to bury her face in her tattered skirts. She put a reassuring hand on the little girl's head, stroking her flame-colored hair. "He was asking around Niima Outpost where you lived. Unkar Plutt told him, but the man killed him anyway. I figured he was looking for you to kill you too. So I followed, a couple of days later, since I thought you wouldn't be needing the shelter anymore. I'm sorry, I didn't know you were still alive." She looked up at the darkening sky. "We'll leave in the morning, just let us stay the night--"

"No, please, you don't have to leave at all," Rey said quickly. "I don't live here anymore, not really. I just came to get something I left behind. I'm glad someone found this place, actually." She smiled at the little girl who peeked out at her, then ducked back behind her mother.

"Oh, thank you," the woman gushed. "I guess, come inside and see if we can find it. Hopefully I haven't traded it away!"

As she ducked into the doorway, Chewie shouted to ask if she needed him to come along.

"No thanks, Chewie, I've got this. Besides, I don't think you would fit inside!" She teased.

There was a bark of laughter, and the wookie went back into the ship.

Rey grabbed the durosteel door and tugged it into place over the gash in the AT-AT's belly. When she turned around, she nearly gasped at how different the interior was. Tattered fabric had been hung against every wall, and the floor was sweeped clean of most of the sand. There were two little nests of fabric on one end, obviously beds, and the ceiling was hung with a collection of oddments. The only thing she recognized was the array of electronics in one corner, consisting of the improvised hotplate and her flight simulator setup. She was glad to see it looked relatively untouched.

"I'm Rey, by the way," she said to the woman, sitting on the floor and smiling at the little girl.

"I'm Ulyt, and this is my daughter Leora," the woman smiled. She settled herself on the bed, and the girl snuggled up in her lap.

Rey felt a pang of jealousy. To see such a display of familial affection, here, where she had spent so many nights crying for just such a thing... it hurt. But she let go of the pain and smiled. "You two must be very lucky to have each other."

Ulyt smiled. "You know, almost no one sees it that way. But I'd be lost without my little beetle." She kissed the top of the girl's head.

"Mommy, I'm hungry," Leora said quietly, tugging at a russet strand of her hair.

"I know, sweetie, but we have a guest," her mother chided gently.

"Actually..." Rey glanced out the door. "Let me go grab a few things from my ship. I'll be right back."

"Ah...alright..." Ulyt seemed bemused.

Rey dashed out of the walker and up the boarding ramp of the Falcon. Once inside, she went straight for the storage room, found an empty container about half a meter square, and set it under the water valve to fill. She then started scrounging around for a power source. She found one, about ten centimeters in diameter. It wasn't as efficient, but it would hold about the same charge as the one she was going to take. Then she started filling another container with the self-heating emergency rations that they never used.

Chewie poked his head in the door and asked what was going on.

"Hey, can you help me carry this water?" She gestured to the almost-full container. Chewie turned off the valve and capped it, still bemused. "Thanks." Rey hoisted her container and made her way back to the walker.

When they deposited the containers in front of the walker, Ulyt peered out with confusion bordering on suspicion. "What is all this?"

"Food, water, and a power source," Rey said bluntly. She thanked Chewie briefly and then started moving the containers into the small home.

Ulyt seemed somewhat alarmed. "What can you possibly want for all this?" Her eyes roved around the tiny space and came to land on her daughter. She held the girl close, suddenly, and Rey felt a flash of alarm from her.

"Nothing!" Rey reassured her suddenly. "Well, almost nothing. Hang on." She went to the electronics array and pulled out a panel. She removed the tiny power source - barely two centemeters across and four long - and then wedged the much larger one into it's place. Reconnecting the wires, she closed the panel and turned around with a grin. "I just need this."

Ulyt stared at the tiny cylinder. "I don't understand. I mean... diatium power cells are valuable, you can store a lot more power in them than anything else that size, and they can run for decades without needing a recharge, but... all this?"

Rey looked at the little girl, still clutched tightly in her mother's arms. "I grew up here. Right here. Alone. I know how hard it is to survive in this place. This stuff... it's just a drop in the bucket. But it's the best I could do. Unless... I mean, I could take you offworld..."

"No," Ulyt said softly. "I can't leave. I came here to hide, to protect Leora."

Rey nodded. Everyone had their reasons for being on Jakku. "It's a damn good place to hide. No one ever finds you here."

"Not even the Dark Man?" Leora asked suddenly.

The young Jedi blinked. "He is... especially persistent. Plus he cheated, he already knew I was here before," she joked.

Leora smiled. "Can we eat now?"

Ulyt and Rey laughed. "Sure, sweetie. Let's eat." Rey pulled out three of the rations and showed them how to activate them. As they ate, she explained some of the items in the AT-AT.

"I had wondered about the computers..." Ulyt said around a mouthful of steamed dumplings. "I was going to take them in to trade as soon as I could figure out how to transport them."

"Flight simulators," Rey explained, and swallowed a gulp of water from her own canteen. "I taught myself to fly. Worked, too. Haven't come across a ship I can't pilot, although..." she cleared her throat. "I suppose I might just be... predisposed to flying. Good reaction times."

Ulyt nodded. She'd seen her dodge the door.

"You should have Leora give it a try. Could be useful in her future, especially if..." she glanced at the little girl, who was completely engrossed in her meal.

The mother nodded seriously. "I'll do that. Thank you, so much, for everything. I still don't understand why you're doing this."

Rey sighed, taking a look around the small home. "I just... I can't _not_ help. Not when I've been where you are. Where she is."

Ulyt shook her head, and went back to eating.

\----------

"Miss Rey, are you injured?" C-3P0 asked as he shuffled into the medstation.

It was very late at night and Rey had thought herself the only one awake on the ship. She had been carefully, systematically searching through the supplies to see if there was anything that could help Merle. She'd found a round of anti-microbials, and pain blockers, and some bacta patches, but somehow she just didn't think it would be enough.

"Threepio, do you know anything about amputations?" she asked helplessly.

"Goodness, amputations? Why of course," he said, clearly scandalized. "I was present when Master Luke lost his hand, you know. And I believe that I've dealt with them before that as well."

Rey turned. She had never considered that the protocol droid would know anything about medicine.

"I am programmed with rudimentary medical assistance software, and I've had rather more experience with the subject than I should like. I've even had my own arm sacrificed to the cause." He waved the arm in question, although it had been replaced with a matching part some time ago. Rey didn't have the heart to tell him it wasn't quite the same thing.

"I have a friend, at the outpost, who lost part of her leg. I think it's infected, and I'm trying to figure out if we can help her at all," she explained.

"Oh my..." C-3P0 moved over to her little collection of supplies. "Well the pain-blockers will certainly help, but I would suggest a stronger anti-microbial. Perhaps the Daptomycin? It will wreak havoc on her digestive system, but it will certainly kill even the most severe infection."

Rey swapped out one packet of pills for another.

"As for the Bacta patches... I'm afraid they're really only designed to heal epidermal injuries. They won't be any help to the deeper tissues or the bone. However..." he waddled over to a storage compartment and rifled through it briefly. "Ah, yes. After Master Luke's incident, Princess--I mean, General Organa--thought it might be a good idea to have one of these on hand."

Rey laughed, and C-3P0 paused.

"Oh, my, I didn't mean to make light of the situation," he said apologetically.

"No, that's fine, Threepio. I could use a little humor." She took the box from him, and read the label carefully. It was an actual loss-of-limb emergency kit. Inside were specially designed disks which would fuse to the stump, and the detached limb if it was recoverable. This would buy the injured person enough time to get to a medical facility, or if the limb was a total loss, protect the injury until it could be fitted for prostheses.

"This is perfect!" Rey beamed. "You're the best, C-3P0!"

The droid preened under the attention. "Well. I do try, you know. You should probably bring the patient onboard so I can assess the wound and oversee the administration of the seal."

"Sure," Rey agreed, glad to have someone who knew how to handle the situation. "We'll pick her up tomorrow. Oh, I'm so _glad_." Rey stood, stiff from crouching, and stretched. Now, at last, she felt like she could sleep.

_____

At first it seemed that Rey would enjoy the deep, dreamless sleep of the physically exhausted. But before long she felt herself being dragged from the sweet abyss, and moaned in protest.

"I won't keep you long," Kylo murmured against her hair. They were in the berth, on the ship Kylo had brought to the Rishi Maze, wrapped around each other. "I needed to see you again."

Rey snuggled against him, burrowing into his warmth. Then her head cleared a little and she sat bolt upright. "You killed Unkar Plutt!" she accused him.

He blinked, startled, and then laid back against the dark sheets. "Yes. I did."

"Why?" she demanded. "He gave you the location of my home, right? So why kill him?"

He lifted his eyebrows. "I take it you've been back to Jakku." With one hand he traced the line of her spine, sending shivers in its wake.

"I'm there now. Answer the question," Rey ground out, refusing to be distracted.

Kylo scowled. "He was disgusting. It was easy enough to pull the information I needed from his mind, but when I did, I saw..." he swallowed thickly. "Rey, the things he thought about you. They were repulsive."

She made a face herself. "I'm aware of what he wanted from me," she said, "But he never forced himself on me. There's no reason--"

"No reason! Rey!" He sat up, taking her by the shoulders. "He was _starving_ you. He was deliberately giving you less and less for your trades, making you desperate. Eventually you'd be so hungry that he could make you an offer you couldn't refuse."

Rey blinked. Plutt had tried to do just that, but to get her to sell BB-8. Had he been pulling his trick early to gain favor with the First Order? Or was he testing the method to see if it would work?

"A man doesn't have to force himself on a girl to use her. I would know," he spat, and turned around so his legs hung off the edge of the berth.

She mulled that over for a moment. It didn't make the murder right, but it certainly explained why he'd done it. Slowly, carefully, she wrapped her arms around him and leaned her head against his back.

"You're not like Unkar Plutt," she said softly.

"Am I not? I could be using you now, for all you know. I certainly started with that intention," he murmured, his voice rough.

She raised her eyebrows. "And now?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. I don't understand any of this, Rey." He turned to look at her, searching her face for some answer.

"I don't understand it either," she admitted. "But we don't need to. At least not tonight." She pulled him toward her, gently, and he gave in. They curled up once more, a tangle of limbs. Rey was sleepy, and she felt herself slipping back into that deeper realm of unconsciousness.

"Can't... stay," she yawned.

"That's alright," Kylo kissed her mouth softly, a promise of more, later. "Rest."

She nodded and tucked her head under his chin, drifting off once more.

\--------

In the morning, Rey said goodbye to Ulyt and Leora, and they flew the ship back to Niima Outpost. It was early enough that the air was still relatively cool, but the sun cut through the air with a ruthlessness that promised a brutal heat later. Rey made her way through the quiet tents, it was too early for those scavengers who lived outside the outpost to have come in to trade, and those who did live there would be out hunting parts before it got too hot.

"Merle?" Rey called outside the tent. "Merle are you there?" She couldn't imagine the old woman was well enough to go out scavenging, but there was no answer. Reaching out with the Force, she tried to feel if there was a presence inside the tattered canvas.

She frowned. There was something there, but it seemed _wrong_ somehow. "Merle?" she lifted the tent flap carefully. In the darkness within was a figure, and for a moment Rey worried she was too late. Then she moved her head, muttering something.

Rey dropped to kneel beside her. When she grabbed the old woman's arm to shake her, the skin was roasting, like she'd been out in the sun all day. She continued to mutter incomprehensibly, and Rey realized what was wrong. Merle was having fever dreams.

Rey cursed in huttese, and tried to figure out a plan. She could probably carry Merle to the ship, she was frail and small, and the amputation made her lighter. But if Drudo owned her, she would essentially be stealing from him.

Suddenly, the man in question burst through the tent flap, nearly crashing into her. Rey put up a hand to steady him before he could fall, and then turned to look at him.

"Drudo! We need to get Merle to my ship, I have a droid who can treat her," Rey explained.

Drudo blinked in confusion. In his hand he held a small black vial. Poison, Rey realized. Drudo had bought poison for Merle so she wouldn't have to suffer.

"You care about her, don't you?" Rey realized.

Drudo put the poison in a pocket and shrugged before bending to pick the old woman up in his arms. "Every man's got a mother. She ain't mine, but..." he grunted as he lifted the frail figure, "well... I suppose I hope someone else is looking after my own mam, too."

Rey was dumbfounded. Jakku was a brutal place, and she had come to believe that everyone there was looking out for themselves and no one else. But then, _she_ came from Jakku, didn't she? She held the tent flap up for Drudo, and they made their way quickly to the Millennium Falcon.

Drudo's eyes were the size of exhaust ports as he took in the relative luxury of the freighter. Rey led him to the medstation, and he laid Merle down in the pristine white alcove. C-3P0 immediately began running the diagsnostics system. Chewie came to lurk in the hatchway, keeping a wary eye on Drudo.

"Oh dear," C-3P0 tutted. "She has a very high temperature. In her state of malnutrition, it could very easily be fatal."

"Can the antimicrobials fight it?" Rey asked.

"I'm not certain. We should administer an antipyretic immediately," he pronounced.

Rey went to the supply kit and dug out the appropriate medication. Shaking out the maximum dose, she grabbed a canteen of water and knelt next to Merle's head. She couldn't rouse the woman, and had to force her mouth open and pop the pills in. She almost spit them out, but the moment Rey put the canteen to her lips, she began to drink greedily.

"Please administer the entire canteen," C-3P0 instructed. "She is dangerously dehydrated."

Rey did so as he continued to tap away the diagnostic screen. After an interminable moment, C-3P0 turned to her and hesitated.

"How bad is it?" Rey asked.

"Well... normally for an amputation it is better if the medial joint--the knee in this case--can be preserved. The original joint will always function better than a prosthetic replacement. But in this instance, the cut was made too close to the joint, and several of the necessary tendons have been severed. The remaining bones will only grind against each other and be quite painful."

"Okay, but what about the infection?" Rey pressed. It seemed a lot more important than the quality of the amputation.

"I was getting to that," he said peevishly. "Because of this, the circulation has been cut off in some areas and the tissue around the knee has become gangrenous. I'm afraid that the only available option is to perform a more drastic amputation."

Drudo swore and turned his back, running his hands through his greasy hair.

Rey swallowed thickly. "How much further up the leg?"

"12 centemeters would remove all of the gangrenous tissue and provide a better attachment point for a prosthesis. If we had the proper equipment, we could cauterize the wound properly and prevent a secondary infection," the droid said cheerfully.

"Proper equipment?" Rey scowled. "We don't even have what we need to do this?"

"Goodness, no. We would need a very powerful laser beam to cut the tissue and bone quickly and evenly." He explained.

The hair on the back of Rey's neck stood up. "Threepio, we _have_ a very powerful laser beam. We have two." She fingered the lightsaber at her hip.

There was a moment of absolute silence.

Chewbacca, of all people, was the one to break it. In a low whine, he pointed out that the shock of the injury might kill the old woman.

Drudo shook his head. "She's already dying. At least this way it would be fast. Can you... can you make it not hurt?"

"Certainly. We would sedate her and apply a local anesthetic before the procedure," C-3P0 assured him.

The scavenger made a helpless gesture. "Do it."

C-3P0 nodded, and began to prepare Merle. He gave her an injection that made her stop muttering and twitching. Then, with Rey's help, he unwound the bandages and cut her ragged pants away from her leg. The smell was awful, and Chewie scrunched his sensitive nose, but stood his ground.

A second injection in her thigh would block the pain. Rey used most of their supply of antiseptic wipes to clean the mangled stump and her leg above it-which was no easy task. C-3P0 used a dye stick to mark the ideal location for the new cut. Lastly, he opened the amputation kit and removed and prepped one of the larger disks.

Rey swallowed, and stilled the shaking of her hands. "Drudo, would you please hold her leg out away from the berth?"

He nodded sharply. They moved Merle so her leg would hang off the edge, and he knelt down and held the thick part of her thigh steady.

Taking a deep breath, Rey pulled the lightsaber from her belt and ignited one end. The red blade cast a lurid light in the room, making everything look sinister. Even with only one end activated, the weapon was long enough to be awkward in the cramped space. She shuffled around a bit to find the best angle so the cut would be straight.  Drudo stared up at her with fear in his eyes, and some dark part of her felt a thrill at the sense of power.

"Close your eyes so you don't flinch," she recommended, almost wishing she could do the same.

Drudo screwed his eyes shut. Rey glanced at Merle's creased face, drew deeply from the Force, and _struck_.

There was a hum, a flash, and then the discolored knee fell to the floor with a sickening thud. The smell of scorched meat filled the room. Rey deactivated the blade immediately, and then turned around and was quietly sick in a disposal bin. When she turned back, C-3P0 was examining the stump, which was smoking just a little.

"An excellent cut, Miss Rey. Exactly perpendicular to the femur," he said cheerfully. Clearly he was completely unaffected by the whole process. The droid turned and grabbed the amputation disk and began to apply it with Drudo's help.

Rey couldn't take it anymore. She pushed past Chewie and ran out of the ship. Outside, the sun had begun to burn in earnest, and the heat hit her in the face, stealing her already scarce breath. She was sick again in the sand, until there was nothing left in her stomach.

A large, furry hand gently patted her back, and Chewbacca chuffed that it was okay, she had done a good job, and it was always a little unsettling the first time you took somebody's limb off.

Rey stood, wiping her mouth. "You've done something like that?" she asked incredulously.

Chewie shrugged and admitted that it had never been someone he _liked_.

That got a bit of a laugh from Rey, and she felt her spirits lift a little. "Thank you Chewie," she said softly. He  made a happy trilling sound, and then followed her back up the ramp.

In the medstation, C-3P0 was handing a series of packets to a very confused-looking Drudo. "I, I can't pay you for these, Rey," he said fearfully. "I can't pay for any of this."

She shook her head. "You don't have to pay me, Drudo. Just promise you'll take care of her. Here," she took the pills from him and examined them. "This is the anti-pyretic. Give it to her every four hours until her fever goes down, and make sure she drinks as much water as you can manage. After that you can trade whatever's left. This, however, is the anti-microbial. Give her one twice a day and make sure she takes _all_ of them. One or two aren't good for anybody, they'll just make you sick. She'll probably have some trouble eating protien for a while, make sure to give her some of the starch-based meals I gave you first. Lastly, these are the pain blockers. Be careful with them, they're addictive. Save some for when you get that droid leg fixed up for her, it will hurt a lot when she starts to walk again. You should be able to get a lot trading these, but be careful. You don't want to get mixed up in the wrong crowd."

Drudo nodded along with her instructions, and tucked the pills deep into his shirt. "Thank you, Rey. I don't know why you did this for us, but thank you."

Rey was starting to feel a little uncomfortable at all the gratitude. She was just doing what she thought was right. As soon as C-3P0 declared that Merle's lifesigns had stabalized and the shock of the wound was not going to kill her, Drudo carried her back to their tent. Rey wished she could stay until the old scavenger woke up, but she'd already been on Jakku for a whole cycle and 3P0 had said that it might take that long again for the sedatives to wear off. She made her way quickly back to the landing yard. It was time to get back to Ach-To.

When she got there, though, a new ship had landed next to the Falcon. It was a small vessel, probably a smuggler, and it was ticking with the unmistakeable sound of a damaged coolant system. The pilot, a tall but shapely human, was standing outside the vehicle, arguing with a man slightly shorter with her. He was greasy and a little pudgy, and Rey instantly knew that he must be the one who had taken Unkar Plutt's place.

"They're priceless, I tell you!" The pilot was insisting. "Comepletely unique, from deep in the unexplored territories!"

"Priceless is right," the trader spat over his shoulder. "What am I gonna do with a bunch of shiny rocks?" Before the pilot could argue, he pressed on. "Buuut..." he looked her up and down. "I'm sure we could find some kind of... arrangement to get your ship fixed."

Rey came close enough to see what the pilot held in her hand. Crystals. Pale pink and purple, they glimmered in the sharp light of Jakku's sun. The pilot looked torn between disgust and despiration, and Rey knew she had to step in.

"Coolant system on the fritz?" She asked bluntly.

The pilot looked up. "Yeah, filter got clogged and a valve burst. I managed to clean out the filter, but I don't have a replacement valve." She completely ignored the trader standing next to her, clearly deciding he wasn't worth talking to.

"How many of those crystals do you have?" Rey asked.

The pilot laughed helplessly. "Buckets and buckets. Won 'em in a game of Sabacc. Figured I could sell them for jewelry or something in the core, but I broke down before I could get there."

"I tell you what, I'll fix your coolant system, parts and labor, for first pick of four of those crystals." She only needed two, and she didn't even know if they would work for her lightsaber, but worst case scenario she could do exactly what the pilot had planned as well.

"Done." The pilot grinned, and turned back toward her ship.

"You can't do that!" The trader shouted. He'd been sputtering and trying to interrupt through the entire transaction, and now he grabbed at Rey.

Without thinking, Rey ignited both ends of her lightsaber and held it before her. The trader absolutely froze, as did everyone else in the area. Some, like the pilot, were curious. Others were scared, and the trader himself was terrified.

"I take it you've seen a lightsaber before?" Rey said cruelly, twirling the blades so they made an ominous hum as they cut through the air.

He nodded quickly. "The man who killed Unkar Plutt..."

"Oh, so you know my _friend_ ," Rey interrupted.

The man looked like he might wet himself. She took a few steps toward him, keeping the blade between their bodies.

"Then you know what one of these can _do_?" She murmured softly.

He nodded again.

"Good. So listen. This was my home, once. I expect you to treat the people who live here fairly. I understand you need to make a profit, but if I find out that you're screwing them - figuratively _or_ literally - well.... I won't be happy. And my _friend_ isn't nearly as nice as me. Who can say when one of us will stop by?" Of course, Rey had no plans to come back to Jakku, and she doubted Kylo would ever set foot on the planet again. But she was enjoying this far too much, the way the man whimpered, cowered. She could taste his fear, and it was delicious. Perhaps she could hurt him, just a little, just to let the message sink in....

Suddenly Rey powered off the lightsaber. She fought to hide the way she shook inside. "Then we have an understanding?" She said sharply.

"Yes, Ma'am," the trader agreed, and ran away. The rest of the onlookers remained frozen, although there were a few murmurs.

Rey took a deep breath and sent out another calming wave through the crowd. "Go about your business, folks," she said, firm but friendly. "Nothing to see here."

Surprisingly, they did as they were told.

"Sorry about that," Rey said, embarrassed, as she caught up with the pilot.

"Oh, that's alright," she grinned, giving Rey an assessing look. "Honestly, it was a little hot. Besides, I could tell you didn't really mean to hurt him."

"Oh?" Rey asked as she followed the pilot up the boarding ramp of her ship. "How?"

The pilot glanced over her shoulder. "When people give out real death threats, they don't usually look like they're having _fun_."

Rey blushed, and threw herself into the repairs as soon as she could. It was an easy enough fix, the coolant system was compatible with the Millenium Falcon's, and since it was a frequent source of trouble on the old freighter, they had plenty of spare valves. She even identified what had caused the problem: whoever had last filled the coolant tanks had done so with dirty, used fluid. A cheap shortcut, and a fairly common practice of dishonest mechanics. Rey suggested that the pilot stop and get the whole system flushed as soon as she reached the next major spaceport.

That done, she went to have a look at the crystals. The pilot, Ahsmi was her name, hadn't been kidding--she had a whole storage locker full of the glittering stones. Some where tiny chips no bigger than her smallest fingernail, and there were a few large chunks the size of her head. They ranged in color from pale iridescent pink to a purple so dark it was almost black. It would have taken her forever to sort through them, so she didn't even bother. Tapping into the Force, she closed her eyes and blindly chose four. They were roughly the same size as the ones in the Sith weapon, and a strong deep violet.

Satisfied, she bid Ahsmi farewell and went back to the Falcon. She was only on the other ship for half an hour, but the longer she had stayed under the pilot's inquisitive gaze, the more uncomfortable she had felt. She found Chewie finishing up cleaning the medstation, and didn't even stop on her way to the bridge, just told him they were leaving. To her surprise he didn't complain, just followed her and strapped into the captain's chair.

Only when they were out in open space did she breathe easily.

"For a moment," she said softly, to no one in particular, "I thought I was never going to get out of there, and I'd be stuck forever. Again." Sighing, she leaned back in the chair as the stars elongated around the ship and shifted into the pattern of hyperspace.

"Goodness, that would be awful," C-3P0 agreed, although he seemed distracted.

Chewbacca, likewise preoccupied, just nodded.

Rey stared between the two of them. Something was going on, but honestly she was too tired to figure it out. "I'll be in in my bunk, then," she announced, and as soon as she got the damn crash webbing unlatched, she nearly sprinted to her bed.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay long chapter! Things in my life are finally starting to take a turn for the better (knock on wood) and I'm finally feeling inspired to write again. 
> 
> Merle is supposed to be the old lady we see at Niima Outpost at the beginning of the movie. If she has a name I didn't bother to look it up lol.
> 
> The parts for the lightsaber are actual parts. I love Wookiepedia to death. Not only did they have a list of all the parts, each part had a little article about what it did and how easy or difficult it would be to find. Waaaay easier than research for an original science fiction story.
> 
> I feel like I should write a chapter or at least a scene that's just Kylo, to balance this out. But honestly, I have no idea what Kylo does all day. I would love to hear some suggestions for you guys if you have any ideas!
> 
> Also, I have discovered that Sith Obi Wan is a Thing and good god, in the words of Lafayette, "Boy, you gon' make me clutch my pearls!" I've been reading imaginarykat's [Wicked Thing](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6261721/chapters/14347999)and I may die of the sexiness.


	18. Confrontation

Upon waking, Rey was relieved to realize that she had not dreamed at all. She wasn't ready to face Kylo again, didn't want to talk to him about the things the gift he had given her had almost made her do on Jakku. She wanted to talk to Master Luke, first, and work her way through that problem before tackling another.

Making her way to the cockpit, she discovered Chewbacca and C-3P0 were already there, and in an unusually quiet mood. A glance at the chronometer told her she had slept for almost ten hours and they were nearly to Ach-To. Jakku was much closer to the first Jedi temple than D'Qar.

"Sorry I overslept," she mumbled, feeling embarrassed.

"Oh, that's alright," C-3P0 said cheerfully. "You seemed like you needed the rest." The droid turned to Chewbacca as if he would say something else, paused, and then seemed to think better of it. Rey had never witnessed him holding his tongue, and wondered just what had happened while she was asleep.

Chewie, who had been catching glances at her from the corner of his eye while he fiddled with the control panel, asked softly if she was feeling all right.

Rey sighed. "Yeah. I just... I got in a little over my head on Jakku, I guess. I have all these new powers, and I want to use them to help people, but... I guess I need a lot more training," she sighed. "I'll be relieved to get back to it."

To her surprise, the wookie relaxed visibly. Nodding his head, he agreed that while he would miss Rey, that was probably for the best.

Suddenly Rey understood. Her two companions must have witnessed her threatening Plutt's replacement, and it had caused them some concern. Well, they weren't the only ones. She was no longer wearing the Sith weapon, and had bundled it with the parts she had gotten on Jakku.

When they reached Ach-To, she was surprised to see that Master Luke was not waiting for her at the landing pad. True, they had not sent a com ahead to let him know they were coming, but between his knowledge of the Force and the unmistakeable sound of the Falcon's approach, she would have known anyway.

Chewie made an anxious whine, and Rey patted him on the shoulder as she stood from the copilot chair. "He's there, I can feel him. He's..." she reached through the force, and was surprised to find a great deal of uneasiness in her Master. "I think he's meditating," she temporized.

The wookie stood and gave her a hug. This one was less enthusiastic, but full of concern and affection. Chuffing, he told her to listen to Luke and work hard at her studies.

Rey smiled against the furry chest. "I will. Thank you for helping me, Chewie, it really means a lot." She realized, tears pricking the corner of her eyes, that she had made another friend.

"Farewell, Miss Rey," C-3P0 said, "and thank you for constructing the interface. I'm certain it will be endlessly useful. Is there anything I can ever do in return?"

"Take care of Chewie," Rey told the droid teasingly, and went down the boarding ramp to the sound of wookie laughter.

Once she set foot on the island, though, her uneasiness returned. This time she climbed the island's countless steps with more familiarity, but not less anxiety. She brought another lightsaber, and wasn't quite the same person as she had been the first time she had sought out the old Jedi Master.

He stood in nearly the same spot, a favorite place of his for meditation.

"So you've come back," he said without turning. There wasn't much wind, as if Ach-To itself were pausing to listen to them.

"As I said I would," Rey replied, trying not to sound petulant.

He turned at that, brow furrowed. "I've heard some interesting tales about your recent adventures," he said slowly.

Inwardly, Rey groaned. Of course Leia would speak to her brother. This would not make things easier, she had hoped that she would have had the opportunity to tell the story herself. "I can explain..." she began lamely.

"Explain threatening a merchant with a lightsaber?" Luke said, outraged.

That stopped her short. So Chewbacca had been the one to tattle. No wonder he had seemed so uneasy. "No, that was a grave mistake on my part and one I wished to discuss with you," she admitted honestly.

Luke seemed almost as startled as she had been a moment before.

"I've learned a few things while I was away," she said with a wry smile, "but I think the most important lesson was that I still have a lot to learn."

That got a reluctant chuckle from the Jedi, and he relaxed marginally. "All right, then, come have some stew and I'll listen to your side of the story."

Rey insisted on telling it in order, and admittedly stalled a bit on details. But she had learned a thing or two of storytelling from the pilots on Jakku, and knew that if she could set the story up right, it would change how her Master perceived it. Luke groaned when she got to the part about turning the gravometric drive off, and was therefore less alarmed when she told about the space sickness. He seemed dubious of Kylo's motivations in caring for her, but grateful nonetheless. It was here her story petered out, and she stared into her bowl as she tried to figure out how to explain what had happened.

"Did he seduce you, Rey?" Luke asked quietly. There was no judgment, but a little pity in his voice.

"You mean, to the Dark Side?" She raised an eyebrow.

He chuckled. "No, you're here, that's answer enough to that question, for the time being. I meant physically."

She smiled into her stew. "Well, no, I wouldn't say he seduced me." She took a long sip of broth and watched Luke relax from the corner of her eye. "We did have sex, though, if that's what you mean."

Were the situation less serious, she would have laughed at his startled reaction. When he said nothing, she elaborated. "I was the one to initiate, though, so if anyone was employing seduction, it was me."

His surprise turned to outrage. "Rey! Seduction is--"

"A tool of the Dark Side?" She asked. "I know. And I didn't really seduce him. We just... this bond..." she pressed a fist to her sternum, feeling the faint tug. "I can't really explain it, but it just kept _pulling_ and it wouldn't be satisfied until..." she shrugged. "After about a cycle, it finally shut up."

She watched as Luke mulled this over. If she couldn't convince him on this count, the rest of the conversation was not going to go well. He poked the fire a few times, thinking. "Leia said she thought you were lovers," he muttered.

So General Organa had managed to figure it out. She was more glad than ever that she had chosen not to show up in person.

Luke sighed. "I don't like it," he admitted reluctantly. "It's not the Jedi way."

"It's not the Sith way, either," Rey argued. That got his attention, so she pressed on. "Kylo told me the Sith eschew emotional attachments, too, because they can be used as leverage, and they're distractions. Personally, I think they're both wrong. I think friendship and love are important. I think they make us strong, and give us something to live for." She felt like she couldn't find the right words, but to her surprise, she saw Luke nodding, although his lips were pressed together.

"Perhaps. I have certainly experienced what you speak of. When I went into hiding I missed my sister and friends dearly. I shall meditate on it," he decided at last.

They were quiet a moment, as Rey calmed her nerves over this small victory to prepare herself for the next argument.

"Do you love him, then?" Luke asked quietly.

Rey sighed. She had hoped to avoid this question. "I don't know. I feel something, but I don't know what it is, or if it's just this Force Bond thing. I want... I want to be near him. I want to help him, to make him whole again, if I can. But I also... he stirs something in me that I didn't even know was there. And to be honest, that scares me a little. What if that's the Dark Side? Sometimes it feels that way, it feels like passion and lust and possessiveness. But other times it feels very much like the light, like hope and affection, and yes... maybe love. I don't know. And sometimes I don't know whether the emotions I'm feeling are really mine, or his, either." She thought about it for a long moment, and Luke let her think. She hadn't really answered his question yet.

"I think I could love him, if I let myself," she said at last. "But I also know he feels the same way. And that gives me hope."

Luke took a long breath and let it out slowly. "How can you be so sure of his feelings?"

"When I was there, it was like there weren't any barriers between our minds," she explained. "I actually had to make an effort so he couldn't hear my every thought. Communicating telepathically was effortless. There were times," she blushed a little, "when I couldn't even tell where he stopped and I began."

"That sounds dangerous." Luke frowned.

"It was... ah, temporary. That kind of thing... didn't last more than a few minutes, I suppose." She squirmed, suddenly embarrassed.

Her teacher's eyebrows rose, catching her meaning. "I see..."

But it was clear he didn't. "Look, I know all of this is dangerous. But I think it's worth it. I think I can save him," she said bluntly.

"And what if you fail? What if it's you instead who is swayed?" Luke asked, somber.

She sighed. "It's a risk, I'll admit it. But that's why I'm here," she spread her hands. "I need your training. I need you to help me. I know he's pulling from his end on his own. He won't tell Snoke--he has some really solid reasons to not want him to know about me--and so Snoke can't help him. If you help me, I'll have an advantage." She grinned.

Luke scowled at her logic. After a long moment, he sighed. "Am I correct in imagining that if I do not help you, you will pursue this on your own?"

Rey bit her lip. "To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure I have a choice. I need to do this. I need to help him. I can't explain it."

"You don't have to explain," Luke said quietly. "I felt the same call, once, although mine was perhaps not so complicated."

Rey let out a rush of air. She could sense that he would not try to dissuade her any further, despite his reluctance.

"Now," Luke said, pouring himself a cup of the caf she had brought with her. "What's this I hear about a red lightsaber in your possession?"

Turning to her bundle, she brought out a carefully wrapped cylinder. She set it on the ground between them and unwrapped it, but was careful not to touch it. Here in the First Jedi Temple, it seemed sullenly subdued. She told him about it, the story Kylo told her, and what had happened on Jakku.

"Some gift," Luke said sarcastically.

She smiled wryly. "I don't like it either. But... with your permission, I'd like to build one like it."

He looked surprised. "Traditionally a Jedi builds his first lightsaber as one of the final trials for acheiving knighthood," he argued. "You're not my first apprentice to be overeager in this endeavor, though." He stroked his beard thoughtfully.

Rey knew he referred to Kylo. She could guess from the inferior quality of his blade that he'd never received legitimate training on the subject.

"I know. And I wouldn't normally ask, except that I need it to train with. I think I can use something like this a lot more effectively than a regular lightsaber," she argued. "But it's not going to be exactly like a staff. I'll need you to help me figure it out."

Luke sighed heavily. "Is there anything else I won't like that you want my help with?" He asked peevishly.

Rey grinned. "Not that I can think of," she admitted. She knew if he was joking that she had already convinced him. "But I'll meditate on it."

Her teacher grumbled good-naturedly. "I have deep reservations about all this, Rey," he admitted. "But currently I can't see any alternatives. If I do discover one--"

"I'll want to hear about it immediately," she reassured him. But she didn't think it would happen.

"Where are you going to get the parts for this... double bladed lightsaber.

Rey unpacked the rest of her bundle. "That's what I went to Jakku for."

Shaking his head, Luke slowly grinned.

* * *

 

Kylo was meditating. Well, he was trying to meditate. He was kneeling before his grandfather's twisted helmet, and focusing on the legacy it represented. But he kept wondering about the man who had come before Darth Vader - Anakin Skywalker. Kylo's own existance raised many questions in his mind. Clearly Anakin had broken the Jedi proscription against carnal pleasures. But he wondered, had Anakin felt for the woman who had birthed his twin children? Had it been anything like what he felt for Rey?

This sidetracked train of thought was interrupted by his door chime. Shoving his helmet back on he slammed the door's access panel. "What?" He bit out.

The stormtrooper before him visibly shrank. "Sir, General Hux has requested your presence."

"Why didn't he send a comm?" Kylo growled.

"C-Classified, sir," he replied. "I'm to take you there with no radio communication on the subject."

Well that got his attention. Hux despised Kylo and used every possible opportunity to annoy him. He insisted on his presence during routine meetings - likely to scare his underlings into taking them seriously - but excluded him from some of the more important meetings. Sometimes he called Kylo to a meeting, and, once there, told him he was no longer needed. Kylo was fairly sure he did it just to see if he could witness one of his infamous tantrums.

But this secrecy was intriguing. Kylo consented to follow the stormtrooper, who took him to one of the lesser-used hangar bays. The soldier put a code into an access pad, and the door slid open to reveal a storage unit, and Hux within.

"Well," Kylo said as the door slid shut behind him. "This is... clandestine."

Hux pressed his lips together, and a faint blush appeared at his collar. The man colored at the drop of a hat, and Kylo found great enjoyment out of making it happen.

"One of my intelligence agents returned from a mission, unsuccessful." Hux bit out, getting straight to the point.

"How unfortunate," Kylo drawled.

"She would not have returned at all, except she tells me that she has information... for you." The general was obviously put out by this notion.

Kylo stood still. He found people were uneasy when he did not sway or fidget as one normally did in conversation. "And what information is that?"

"She said she would only deliver it to you," he ground out. The color proceeded a few inches up the general's neck.  
Inside his mask, Kylo grinned. This was getting better and better. "Well?" He made a sweeping gesture.

Glaring, Hux brushed past him and hit the panel to open the door. "Bring her in," he told the stormtrooper just outside. He nodded, and left.

"Tell me, does this information agent work for the First Order, or just you?" Kylo asked.

Hux glanced between him and the door. "I hired her privately, and that's all you need to know on the subject."

So the General had a secret. Kylo thoroughly looked forward to this meeting.

An attractive woman was led to them shortly. She had long black hair and cat-like eyes. "This is Ahsmi," Hux said shortly. "Kylo Ren," he made a truncated gesture towards the object of his dislike.

"A pleasure," she purred. After a moment, she glanced between the two men. "General, I'm afraid this is sensitive information. If the Dark Jedi decides it is safe to share with you, then I'm sure he will."

The color rose to cover Hux's face, so that he was pink all the way to his red hair, which clashed. Without another word, he stormed out of the small room.

"You risk much to bring me this information," Kylo reasoned.

Ahsmi shrugged. "Oh, he won't fire me. He's got no choice. Now. I've run into a friend of yours." She grinned conspiratorially.

He crossed his arms. "I don't have any friends."

"Oh." The spy checked her fingernails nonchalantly. "Then you don't know any little girls weilding red, double-sided lightsabers? Because she hinted that she knew you."

Kylo froze. "Where was this?"

"Jakku, of all places," the woman's face displayed a distaste that he could relate to.

If he had any doubts, that erased them. That and she had the feel of someone relishing a secret, not fabricating a lie. "Tell me."

Ahsmi related to him the story of Rey and Unkar Plutt's replacement. She was detailed but to the point, and didn't seem to embellish. It was an interesting tale, but one he likely would have gotten from Rey herself eventually.

"These crystals you gave her, where did they come from originally?" He asked.

"From a world deep in the uncharted territories. I believe it's called Hurikane, if my sources are correct," she answered.

Kylo mulled that over. They weren't kyber crystals, but could they perhaps be used to build a lightsaber? Then again, what other use would Rey have for crystals? "And why did you think I would value this information?" He asked at last.

She spread her hands. "It's not every cycle you see a lightsaber, these days," she reasoned. "I thought you'd like to know you have, at the very least, an admirer. She might be useful to you."

Kylo nodded. Since he didn't want it known that he was in contact with Rey, he decided to play along. "She may very well be. I expect you can be trusted not to tell anyone else about this?"

Ahsmi looked offended. "My Lord, if I wasn't willing to tell the General, then who in the galaxy would I tell?"

Kylo didn't buy it for a minute. "And what sort of compensation do you expect for this information and the keeping of it?"

"Oh that," she waived a hand. "I'll add it to General Hux's bill," she grinned.

That, if nothing else, made Kylo like her. "What is it, exactly, that Hux has hired you to do?"

She sniffed. "Now, why would I tell you that? The whole point of being an intelligence agent is to keep secrets."

Kylo made a subtle gesture with two fingers. "The secret's safe with me," he said casually.

To his surprise, Ahsmi burst into laughter. "That old hocus-pocus doesn't work on me!" She laughed. Suddenly, she stopped laughing. In fact, she stopped breathing, and lifted so that her toes just brushed the floor.

"Fine then," he said viciously. "Don't tell me." He delved into her mind without a second thought. It didn't take much, in fact she might have told him if he'd let her. General Hux had hired her to find a woman and a child. The woman would be about twenty-three, the child five. Although he had not told her so, she had guessed that Hux was the father. He could not fire her because she knew this, and would use it to advantage against him. She'd been searching for almost a year, and felt that she was very close to finding them.

He let her go, and she began coughing violently. "I would advise you to be more respectful of my power in the future," he said evenly, his temper molified by what he had learned.

She cussed a bit, rubbing her throat with her hand. "You gotta learn to ask a girl first," she teased wearily.

Bristling at the sudden reminder of Rey, he pressed the access panel and swept out. He would have left without another word, but Hux stepped into his path.

"Well?" He asked.

Kylo felt the corners of his mouth tugged into a vicious smile, hidden by his mask. "Nothing you need concern yourself with," he assured him.

The General was about to protest, but Ahsmi started coughing again behind him, and Kylo used this distraction to escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for the ridiculous wait. Things have been pretty rough for me this summer but they're starting to look up.
> 
> On top of that, I was really avoiding the conversation between Luke and Rey. I'm still really not happy with it, but at this point I just want to move on.
> 
> What do you think of General Hux's secret? I feel like I haven't put enough of him in this story and coudn't resist the urge to give him a little side plot.


	19. Building

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up, all of your wonderful comments were so inspiring I wrote a really loooong chapter. I debated splitting it in two but I'm trying to stick to my outline lol. Enjoy!

Metal and crystal glittered as it turned slowly in the air. Pieces shifted, aligned, rotated. Slowly they lined up, one long string of components. Carefully, Rey twisted the fingers of her left hand, and they began to draw together. A soldering iron waited in her right hand, for the moment when the connections would need to be made. An expanding insulation kit sat just to her left, prepped for its turn. This was the most difficult part, making sure everything came together exactly right....

"One of your emitter matrices is inverted." Kylo's voice startled her.

She managed not to drop the parts, but they stopped moving. Cracking one eye open, she spied the matrix in question. "Damn." Slowly, she tried to reverse the alignment, but it was tricky to focus on just one part and not move the others. It wouldn't budge.

"If you leave it like that, the blade might implode when you first ignite it, take your hand right off and possibly kill you. Or it might work fine, for a while, and later the blade will cut out the first time it connects with another lightsaber." Kylo went on, cheerfully describing the consequences.

Rey pressed her lips together, and the matrix began to tremble. But then it dropped, a metallic tink sounding as it hit the floor. Frustrated, Rey made a gesture with her hand, swiping it through the parts, and they dissapeared. "Do you mind?" She said peevishly as she turned around.

Kylo's expression stayed mostly serious, although there was a suspicious twitching of one corner of his mouth. "I assume you are visualizing building your lightsaber, to practice?"

She didn't dignify the obvious statement with a response.

"Well, then you should be able to withstand a few distractions. What if a lizard crawls up your side while you're building it?" He teased.

She scowled. "There aren't any lizards on the island."

His eyebrows shot upward, and too late Rey realized she had let slip a clue to her location.

"Not much to go on," he reassured her. "There must be a billion islands in the galaxy on which no lizards live." But he wasn't terribly sincere about it.

"Yes, I was practicing, which begs the question, why are you here? I wasn't in that kind of trance," Rey pointed out.

Kylo shrugged, and studied the room around them. It was a small enclosed space, the walls made of huge slabs of dark stone. Rey had based it on the room in Maz's cantina where she had found Luke's lightsaber, it seemed a fitting place to make her own.

"You didn't come to me, so I thought I'd try to reach you again. I guess it worked. The bond has gotten stronger." He kept the hurt out of his voice, but she felt it anyway.

Sighing, she leaned against a trunk. "I meant to. I had planned to last night, and the night before that. But Master Luke is training me so hard these days, I pass out the moment my head hits the pallet," she explained.

Now it was his turn to scowl. "He's doing it on purpose. He's keeping you from me."

"You don't know that..." Rey argued, but it was half-hearted. The thought had occurred to her that Luke had given in on the subject of her relationship with Kylo entirely too easily. As long as she stayed on Ach-To, it was mostly a moot point, aside from the dreams. And if she was too tired to start them....

But Kylo seemed content to change the subject. "So you're building your own version of my gift?" He asked pointedly.

She nodded, rubbing one arm distractedly. "I like the concept, but the actual weapon... it almost has a mind of it's own," she shuddered.

"Ah," he said knowingly. "That explains why you were waving it around on Jakku."

Rey groaned and pressed the heels of her hands into her eye sockets. "How do you know about that?? Does the whole galaxy know?" she demanded.

When she looked up, Kylo was actually smiling. "No, a little bird told me."

"Ahsmi..." Rey realized. "You didn't hurt her, did you?" There was something about the way his smile faded when she said the name that made her wonder.

He turned, and studied some of the objects stacked in the room. "She gave that information to me freely. Specifically sought me out to tell me, actually. She seemed to think I might be concerned that someone was weilding such a weapon and implying that we were somehow allied." His voice was light, but there was an edge to it that made it clear that he was not happy about it in the slightest.

Rey grimaced, but refused to be distracted. "You didn't answer my question."

Kylo picked up a small metal cup, squeezing it in his hand as if testing its strength. "There were other subjects she was not so eager to divulge. She didn't take much convincing, though."

Nauseated, Rey turned away. "What could she possibly know that would be worth putting her through that?" She choked out.

Behind her, she felt a series of confused emotions wash off him. Guilt, pride, vindication, shame, anger. The air was thick with the tension between them, but she waited, letting it hang.

"She was in the employ of General Hux. He is... something of a political rival of mine, in the First Order. I wanted to know why he hired a private intelligence agent."

"A spy?" Rey whirled back, shocked.

Kylo nodded. "Turns out, Hux has a bastard child somewhere, wants it and the mother found. She said they'd be about five and twenty-three." He shrugged. "She seemed to think it was enough to blackmail him."

Rey felt her blood run cold. _Five and twenty-three. Leora and Ulyt._ It could be a coincedence, but she was quickly learning that Jedi rarely encountered such a thing as happenstance. She suddenly realized Kylo was studying her, and she pushed the thought away quickly. "Do you want to see the plans for my lightsaber?" She asked cheerfully, and pulled a scroll from a nearby chest.

The Dark Jedi didn't seem entirely convinced, but said nothing, coming to stand next to her as she spread the old parchment out on a flat surface, weighting it down with a few oddments. He looked over the schematic carefully, tracing one gloved finger over the lines which labeled the parts.

"Simple. But elegant," he amended quickly.

She nodded. "I thought it would be best if I tried to keep it pretty basic, at least for the first one."

"And these Hurikane crystals, they will work to form a blade?" He turned to her, intrigued.

"Is that what they're called? I didn't ask. Yes, I ran a few tests. I'm not sure about the strength of the blade, I'm fairly certain that it won't be as bright as yours or Luke's. But it will be more efficient, give off less heat too."

A grim smile ghosted over his face. "The heat can be useful," he pointed out.

Distantly, Rey heard Finn screaming as Kylo pressed one of the exhaust vents into his shoulder. Her own cheek flushed, remembering the sting of the ragged blade mere inches from her skin. She shrugged it off. "My fighting style brings the staff close to my body. This way it won't scorch my clothes or hair." Spreading one hand over the design, she pulled it upward, and the lines became three-dimensional, solidifying in her hand.

Stepping back, she held out her arm and ignited first one, then the other blade. They glowed vibrant purple in the darkness, a color just shy of UV light.

Kylo's face was made paler in the contrast, and she saw the blades reflected in his dark eyes. He made a distracted gesture, and the room around them dissolved, replaced by the forests of Takodana. But they were not as she had seen them - it was close to dark, the sun bleeding out through the trees. The leaves were gold and scarlet with the chill of autumn, and Rey wondered if Ben had ever been to Takodana with his father.

Taking his own lightsaber from his belt, Kylo considered it. "I am familiar with Master Luke's method of training. He has you drill for a set amount of time, and then take a break, during which he offers criticism and encouragement, correct?"

Rey nodded.

Kylo ignited his blade, the red-orange light hardly different from that of the dying sun. "That is not how the Sith train."

Without another word, he attacked. Rey blocked instinctively, but he hardly paused before striking once more. Half a dozen more blows followed in quick succession, and Rey realized that he was holding nothing back. Not even on Starkiller Base had he brought this much fury and wrath to their combat.

Well, Rey refused to be intimidated. She met each blow as it came, confident in her defensive skills with the staff. Her hands were closer together on the lightsaber, which was a little awkward, but there wasn't as much weight to balance, and it kept her from trying to block with the middle, which would have split the weapon in half.  As an advantage, she was aware that this was a trance dream, and her body would not tire.

But neither would Kylo's. It was only a matter of time until she slipped up, and failed to bring the left end of her lightsaber to bear in time, and Kylo took full advantage, driving his blade deep into her shoulder.

To her shock, it hurt. It hurt a lot. She cried out, flinching away, and he reached out with his other hand to push her off balance with the Force. She landed hard on her tailbone, and he placed his foot against the fresh wound, knocking her onto her back. Before she could get her defense up, he was standing above her, his blade hovering inches from her neck.

"Pain is a very effective learning tool," he said calmly. He wasn't even out of breath. "And so is humiliation."

She scowled up at him. "I get the point."

He hesitated a moment, and then backed off. "No, you don't. Not yet." He smiled, clearly eager to show her.

Rey watched him warily as she brushed the dirt and leaves from her palms. She sensed that he would wait until she ignited her blades once more, but he made several impressive twirls of his own weapon as he waited. She took a few deep breaths, pressed both switches simultaneously, and went on the attack.

Or at least she tried to. He easily batted her jab away, and returned to his merciless onslaught. This time, Rey focused less on parrying his blows and more on avoiding them, backing her way through the forest to give herself room. It was eerily familiar, especially when they passed through a narrow outcropping of rock, forcing her to jump out of the narrow crevice.

He followed easily. He seemed to be waiting for something, but she wasn't entirely sure what.

It was true that in the trance she would not feel physical exhaustion, but the fight was a mental strain as well. Her breath came ragged, and she began to slow, just barely getting one of her violet blades up in time to block the his red one.

In response, he began to hit slower, but harder, putting his whole weight behind the blows. She was viscerally aware of how much taller and larger than her he was; he towered over her.

Even when she tripped, he didn't stop. He brought his weapon down in a two-handed executioner's chop, and she just barely managed to catch it on her blade. He didn't pull back, but instead pressed the connected blades until they screeched with magnetic interference. The glowing plasma came inexoribly closer to her face.

Rey scrambled to think how to escape. Were she fighting with her staff, she could use the full length to leverage him away, but she could not grab the end of her lightsaber. She thought about kicking, but he crouched above her in such a way that she couldn't get her legs into position. And still, the crossed blades came closer. Above them, she could see his face, alight with arrogance and a wicked, sadistic pleasure.

"I yeild," she gasped. Was that what he wanted?

"You yield?" He scoffed. "This isn't a duel, little Jedi. There aren't rules of engagement."

"Alright, I surrender, then!" She shouted, exasperated.

This interested him more. As he thought about it, the pressure from his blade decreased infinitesimally. "And what, exactly, do you surrender?" His eyes glittered with dark anticipation.

For just a moment, Rey was truly afraid of him. "I don't know," she admitted. Her grip faltered and her own blade dipped dangerously close to her face.

But Kylo backed away, a grin on his face. "There it is," he said softly.

Rey extinguished her lightsaber and lay on the ground, panting. She knew what he meant. He had felt her fear. She stared up at the sky through the trees, watching as the last of the color drained away into a darkness that lacked even a single star. After a small eternity, she pulled herself back to her feet.

"Let's make a bargain," Kylo said affably. A small device that looked like a thermal detonator appeared in his palm. "Perhaps there's something to be said for training with time limits. I'll wager you can't hold me off for four minutes."

Rey frowned. "Are the Sith fond of gambling?" she taunted.

Kylo shook his head. "An inherited weakness, we'll say."

Her breath hitched in her chest. She'd never heard him refer to Han so casually. "Alright, what are the stakes?" she indulged him.

"If I overpower you within the time limit, I may take from you whatever I want, in whatever way I choose," he leered at her, and turned his wrist in a slow circle, the blade humming menacingly.

She swallowed thickly. "And if I win?"

He chuckled, and spread his hands wide. "Name your price."

Rey considered a moment. "If I succeed in defending myself for four minutes, we will have a conversation about your mother."

His scowl was so deep it twisted his scar unpleasantly. He paced back and forth a moment, glancing at her occasionally as he considered. At last, he seemed to come to a decision.

"Fine. I accept your terms." He twisted the device carefully, and it lit up and began ticking. Turning, he threw it deep into the woods.

She didn't wait for him to turn back. Igniting her blades one last time, she swept out and met his blade almost before he struck. This time she was careful to watch him, working to anticipate his strikes. He chose to counter this by moving forward inexorably, forcing her to step backwards over the uneven terrain. She almost tripped barely a few seconds in.

"Come on, Rey!" He shouted. "Where is your spirit? Where is the rage you showed me?"

She kept her mouth shut, but noticed as the forest around them began to change. The trees grew taller, the first branches higher. The autumn leaves lost their color, shrivelling up into needles, and the ground turned slippery with frost.

"At least try to fight me!" Kylo taunted, and executed a turn which showed his back to her, but before she could take the advantage he had swung around, using all the force of his momentum to swing at her, nearly knocking the weapon from her hand.

In response, Rey decided to spin her lightsaber in a figure-eight around her body. It was a tricky move, one that would make it difficult for him to score a hit from a distance. He followed the swirling blades with his eyes for a moment, and then neatly stepped into her guard.

Before he could bring his weapon to bear, though, she let go of her own with one hand and elbowed him hard in the gut. It was enough to push him away, and she took several steps back.

She was walking through snow, she realized, and clouds of her breath hung in the air. They were no longer on Takodana. It was so easy to remember that desperate fight, to give into the temptation to attack him with her emotions as well as her lightsaber. But while it might win her the wager, she would risk losing her soul.

The battle dragged on, until once more Rey could only move the bare minimum necessary to block each strike. He'd given up on finess and simply swung at her, left-right, left-right, faster and faster.

There was a small explosion as his lightsaber caught the edge of her hilt instead of the blade, shearing it away. She struggled to bring the remaining half into a more traditional stance, but it was a lost cause. If she couldn't beat him with two blades, she had no chance with one. In two moves he had disarmed her, the remaining half of her weapon twirling away to land in the snow.

Grabbing her wrist, Kylo forced her to her knees. The cold bit into her shins, and she shivered. He worked his fingers into her hair and pulled her head back. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes, at the pain or her failure, she wasn't sure. She knew what he wanted, from her position it wasn't difficult to guess, and she could feel the lust rolling off him in waves.

And then she spotted it.

Off to one side, almost hidden behind a tree, was the thermal detonator. It was upside-down, but she could just make out the number it displayed.

4:00

It had never been activated.

"You cheated!" she cried out. How long had they been fighting? It had felt like hours, certainly more than four minutes.

He didn't even look behind him. "Of course I cheated," he said, disgusted, and then suddenly released her. Stepping away, he deactivated his lightsaber and turned his back to her, breathing heavily.

She sat back on her heels, and rubbed at her scalp. "Your father would be proud."

His shoulders stiffened.

Rey immediately regretted the words, the pain they had caused him clearly echoing through their bond.

"It didn't work, anyway," he grumbled, and sat heavily in the snow.

Deciding she was tired of the cold, Rey waved a hand that felt as heavy as lead, changing their surroundings to the cavern where they had met in person. Outside the crevice in the asteroid, colorful gasses swirled, casting an eerie but soothing light.

When he didn't move, she shuffled over to him. She was surprised to find his shoulders trembling with barely surpressed sobs.

"Hey, I'm sorry," she murmured, "I shouldn't have said that, B--" she stopped herself. She'd almost called him Ben. He reminded her so much of the little boy he had been right now.

Kylo shook his head. "That's not it. I..." he caught his breath, swallowed. "I know what I should do, to train you. I remember how it was done. But I can't. I don't want to make you suffer, Rey!" Reaching out, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his lap.

Surprised, she moved so she was straddling him, and let him press his head against her breasts. Rey ran her fingers through his sable curls, at a loss for how to comfort him. Then he turned his face up to her, and claimed her lips. She gave in to him easily, let him lay her down on the rocky cavern floor. She thought of offering what he had clearly wanted, but sensed that neither of them could wait that long.

When they lay, spent and exhausted, limbs tangled, she felt the doubts return. How could she feel this way for a man who tortured without qualms? Who would gladly hurt her if he thought it would teach her a lesson? Her shoulder had healed, but the memory of the pain remained. Kylo Ren didn't scare her, but the thought that she might love him did.

Sensing her fear, Kylo held her tighter. "You're mine, Rey. I can't let go of you, even if I wanted to. But your hold on me is even stronger."

She turned her face to his, hazel eyes meeting deep brown. "What makes you say that?"

He swallowed, adam's apple bobbing. "Because you don't want to turn to the darkness," he whispered.

Rey?

A distant voice intruded their privacy, calling for her. Kylo sat up, as if he were afraid its owner would appear in their sanctuary.

Rey, wake up!

When Luke did not materialize, he relaxed. "I've kept you too long," he said instead.

She stood, her clothes materializing again. "I should go."

Reaching up, he grabbed her wrist. "Don't make me wait again, Rey."

She looked down at him. "Three cycles," she offered.

He nodded. "Three cycles."

Rey closed her eyes.

 

* * *

 

"Rey! Wake up, girl!" Luke nearly shouted.

"I'm awake, Master Luke," she murmured. Opening her eyes, she found she was in the meditation hut. Luke was crouched next to her, a hand on her forehead. Night had fallen.

She sat up, checking to make sure that the pieces of her lightsaber were undisturbed. They were fine.

"What happened?" Luke asked.

"The trance turned into a dream," she said simply.

He frowned. "You didn't initiate it." It wasn't a question.

Rey shook her head, realizing how tired she was. "He was worried, it had been too long."

The old Jedi sat back, considering. "You should get some rest," he said at last.

"Yes. I'll make the lightsaber tomorrow," she decided.

He nodded. "You're ready."

 

* * *

 

"Well, no, nothing was broken, but he was hurt rather badly. It was terribly frightening," Padme said softly.

Ben scowled. He was older than Rey was used to seeing him in these dreams, perhaps 13. "Well he had it coming, if you ask me."

Rey was only now aware of the dream,  and she couldn't remember how the story had started. Something about a kiss, and Anakin attacking the gentleman in question.

"Ben, he had no way of knowing I was married..." Padme started explaining.

"Yes, but you said no," Ben argued passionately. "Even if grandfather was just a friend, that's reason enough for him to kick Clovis's a--butt," he quickly amended.

The senator gave him a brief, proud smile. "You're right, it would have been appropriate for Anakin to stop him if he felt my consent was being violated. But he could have done that without violence, and that's certainly not what happened. A Jedi should avoid violence if at all possible."

Ben seemed to consider this a moment,  fingering the edge of his jedi robe. It looked new, the rich browns bringing out his eyes. He appeared torn between the prospects exacting vengeance and upholding the Jedi dedication to nonviolence. Rey took this opportunity to study him. His nose and ears had grown rapidly, the rest of his face had yet to catch up. His hands and feet were likewise outsized, and he was painfully thin. As a whole it gave him an endearing awkwardness, matched by a clear passion to do the right thing.

Padme went on with the story, but Rey only listened with half an ear. Instead she watched Ben, watched his reactions. He sat folded up on the couch, facing his grandmother fully. Rey might be invisible for all they noticed her. His eagerness was palpable, his eyes were wide with wonder as he drank in every word. The story was not one of heroism, but rather of trial. Anakin had struggled to trust his wife, had been given to jealousy. To make matters worse, in this instance, his distrust in Padme's friend was justified in the end. Rey found she approved of Padme's choice of tale, it was a good lesson for Ben at this age: sometimes no one is in the right.

She began to pay closer attention as the story came to a head.

"The tower was struck and began to collapse. As the floor tilted, all three of us slid towards the edge. Anakin managed to grab me and Clovis and stop himself, but the two of us ended up hanging from either arm," Padme explained. "He couldn't hold us both--"

"Why didn't he just use the Force to lift you up?" Ben interrupted.

Padme floundered a bit, and for the first time, looked to Rey.

She thought a moment. "Moving that kind of mass takes a lot of concentration, he probably wasn't calm enough. Plus it's really hard to do if you don't have a hand free to gesture."

Ben frowned. "Even for him?"

Padme laughed. "Yes, even for Anakin. He wasn't all-powerful, you know. Perhaps his strongest ability was his reaction time, but every other skill he had to work hard to learn," she said patiently.

This seemed something of a disappointment to him. "Were you on his left or his right hand?"

She blinked. "I hadn't thought of that. His left, so his grip was weaker I suppose, but that meant that Clovis's greater weight was pulling on his attachment matrix."

Ben grimaced.

"I'm sorry, attachment matrix?" Rey broke in.

"Grandpa lost his right arm above the elbow at the beginning of the Clone Wars," Ben explained. "They didn't have really good synthetic limbs like Uncle Luke's hand back then, so it was like a really cool droid arm."

Rey blinked. _The man with the metal arm._ So it was not Luke she had seen when she first came to this place, either. "I see," she said, distracted.

Ben turned back to the Senator. "So he dropped the jerk, right?" he asked gleefully.

Padme leveled a somber look at her grandson. "No. Clovis let go."

The elegant room was silent a moment.

At last,  she spoke again. "I think he really did care about me," Padme admitted. "He suspected that Anakin and I were involved, and I think maybe he was trying to show me that I had other options. He didn't know that I had already committed myself to Anakin. And then, with all of the trouble with the seperatists..." she shrugged gracefully. "His world, everything he had worked for his whole life, had been destroyed. Perhaps he realized in that moment that he didn't have much to live for, and his death would give me the chance to survive. It's hard to say."

Ben wasn't able to hold Padme's direct gaze. His eyes slid to his lap, and then he looked to Rey. She wasn't sure what he saw there, but it didn't seem to reassure him. After a moment he stood up.

"I have to get back to training," he said decisively.

"Of course." Padme beamed as she stood to hug him. Rey noticed that he stiffened at the contact, but he also smiled a little.

For her, he had a toothy grin. "Bye, Rey, see you later!" And then he rushed out the door.

The two women regarded each other evenly. "You seem preoccupied," Padme said, concerned.

"He frightens me, sometimes," she blurted out. Rey had meant to say something polite, but as was often the case in her dreams, she couldn't control what she said.

"I know," Padme sighed, and moved to sit on the same couch with her. "Did he nearly beat a man to death for trying to kiss you?" she asked with dark humor.

"Nooo...." Rey made a wry face. "He killed a man for plotting to starve me into having sex with him."

Padme blinked rapidly, and then sighed. "That's... rather a different level of situation," she said diplomatically.

The young Jedi nodded. "But to be honest, what scares me more is that I could... feel something for a person who is capable of doing that kind of thing. He's not sorry, not in the slightest. Shouldn't that... should I feel..." she floundered.

The senator put a hand on her shoulder. "When someone you love does something evil, it doesn't make you stop loving them. I know that better than most." Tears stood in the corners of her eyes. "It hurts you, it can make you angry, but it won't change the way you feel about them. Maybe at some point, you decide that you don't know them anymore or they're not who they used to be, but you will still love the person they were before."

Rey studied the woman before her, the great well of grief and pain that she hid with such grace. "Padme, how did you die?"

To her surprise, Padme smiled. "Are you asking for yourself, or for Luke?"

"For myself. I won't tell Luke if you don't want me to. It's just... I've heard stories. Did... did Anakin kill you?" Rey whispered.

"No," Padme answered immediately, but her voice was soft. "The day I died, I lost everything. The Chancellor took emergency powers, effectively ending the democracy I had fought all my life to preserve. Anakin..." her voice shook. "Anakin became someone I didn't recognize. Became Darth Vader, I suppose. Obi-wan told me what had happened, I'd just seen Anakin and I couldn't believe it. When I went to him, hoping he would tell me it wasn't true,  he..."

One hand fluttered to her throat, as if she were unable to speak for a moment. "We fought. We'd had plenty of shouting matches before,  but he'd never raised a hand to me. It was too much. All of it was too much. When Obi-wan came back from fighting with him, I was going into labor. I gave birth, twice. I... had nothing left." She spread her hands.

"I felt some regret that I couldn't stay for the children, but how could I protect them? What kind of galaxy were they going to live in? Maybe if I died, Anakin would assume they died too. They were early, and I didn't know there would be two. I had a moment of realization that in dying, I would give them the best possible chance to survive." She shook her head. "So no, Anakin didn't kill me. His actions were part of what led to my death, and maybe if he had responded differently.... But that's expecting a lot of him. His world had been destroyed just as surely as mine. I don't blame him for what happened."

Rey was surprised. "Who do you blame, then?"

Padme sighed deeply, and looked down at her hands. The gesture was so reminiscent of her grandson it almost made Rey smile. "Circumstance, mostly. What happened was so much bigger than all of us. But if I had to point a finger... Palpatine."

"The emperor?" Rey frowned.

The senator shook her head. "He wasn't always the emperor. Before that he was Chancellor, and then the senator for Naboo, my home planet. He was a state-level politician when I met him. He was my first mentor. I trusted him more than almost anyone else. And he played us all like pieces on a chessboard. Played both sides, so we all lost. Sometimes I wonder.... How deep did his machinations go? I know he manipulated Anakin into fearing for my safety, I could see it a little, although I didn't know it was him winding Anakin up. But how far back does that go? Had he been grooming me my whole life, just to be a tool to manipulate someone else? Or is it more, did he specifically cause Anakin and I to cross paths...." she shook her head. "I can't trace his influence on my fate to the point at which it started, and that bothers me."

Rey considered that. The emperor was dead, but did his influence live on? How did Snoke relate to him? How had the power a Sith Lord had amassed pass to someone who was barely even a Force-user, much less a Jedi or a Sith? It didn't make sense to her.

"There's one other thing you should know," Padme said softly, interrupting her thoughts. She spoke sadly, cautiously. "If you do love Ben, it won't be enough to save him. Just loving him won't bring him back to the light, Rey. And it's not necessary that you love him to succeed."

To her surprise, this last statement was a huge relief to Rey. Not that she had felt pressured into a relationship, quite the opposite, but it was good to know that whatever she decided about her feelings for Ben, or Kylo, his salvation didn't hang in the balance. "Thank you," she whispered, throat tight.

Padme patted her hand. "Get some rest, Rey. You'll need it."

 

* * *

 

When the first ray of sunlight broke into the dim coolness of Rey's hut, she woke feeling calm and refreshed. She stretched, and went through her morning exercises, and then went to Luke's hut. He had prepared a fish pastry--her favorite of the dishes they could make with the resources at hand--and for once she ate slowly, relishing each bite. They spoke little, and as soon as she was done, she rose to go to the meditation hut.

"Rey," Luke said softly as she stood. "I want you to know that I'm very proud of your accomplishments thus far. You've advanced even faster than I did at your age, and you haven't let it go to your head." A wry smile accompanied this praise. "You're ready. May the Force be with you."

"Thank you, Master Luke," Rey replied, her heart swelling with the praise. She bowed formally, and then left the hut.

The parts of her lightsaber glittered in the early morning sunlight as they rose at the bidding of her outstretched hand. Pieces shifted, aligned, rotated. Slowly they lined up, one long string of components. Carefully, Rey twisted her fingers, and they began to draw together. She lifted the soldering iron in her right hand, and at the right moment welded the wires together. The casing, a piece sheared from her staff, enclosed the inner workings perfectly. She lifted the expanding insulation kit, and injected it into the proper gap, guiding the polymer with the Force as it rushed into the empty spaces. It took several minutes to set, and she examined every millimeter with all her senses as she waited.

At last, it was done. Holding out her hands, she let go of the Force and let it fall into her palms. It was lighter than the one Kylo had given her, and hummed with a patient, familiar note.

Stepping out of the hut, she found Luke, standing guard. He nodded to her, and made an encouraging gesture.

Rey extended her arm, took a deep breath, and pressed the activating switch for one end. A brilliant violet blade erupted from the emitter, lighter in color than her tests had suggested it would be; it was almost fuschia. She moved it slowly, feeling the resistance as it cut through the air. Satisfied with the even, clean sound it emitted, she activated the other side. It too, burned brightly. Giving it an experimental spin, she allowed herself to smile.

Luke was grinning. "Very good. A test?" he suggested.

She nodded, and watched as he removed and activated his own lightsaber. He held it in his left hand, as he sometimes did when their excercises required more dexterity and sensitivity than his mechanical hand could offer. Rey wondered what had happened to the lifelike prosthesis Ben had mentioned.

Blue light sprang forward, and for the first time, it struck Rey that this was Anakin Skywalker's lightsaber. This was the weapon he had used to defend Padme... and fight Obi-wan. It had called to her, and led her to this place. Carefully, wary of the potential consequences should her newly-forged weapon fail, she touched her own violet blade to the blue one.

There was a clash of sound, but it held. As Rey pulled back for a more enthusiastic test, she noticed a strange sticking sensation. Concerned, she tried tapping the blades together. The lightsabers bounced away, as expected, so she tried locking once more. There it was again, the strange feeling as if her weapon pulled slightly at his.

Luke frowned, noticing it too. "Well, that's interesting," he commented.

"Do you think it's dangerous?" Rey asked. "Have I made the magnetic field too powerful?"

"No," Luke reasoned, making a few experimental strikes which she parried easily. As long as the blades didn't stay in contact for more than a second, they behaved as normal. "I think it's more likely an effect of the unusual crystals. You could likely use it to your advantage," he reasoned.

Rey thought a moment, and then pressed the attack from above, so that Luke had to lift his hands to block it. She met his blade and held a moment, then twisted the center of her weapon in a circle. Luke was forced to follow the arc, and while he didn't lose his grip, it left him open to an attack from the other end of her lightsaber.

"Very useful indeed!" Luke chuckled.

She shrugged, unsure. "Well, at least if I'm fighting someone with a lightsaber. But that's pretty much just you and Kylo Ren, now, so..." she trailed off.

The Master Jedi sighed and deactivated his lightsaber. "I certainly hope it never proves useful, then. Still, well done, Rey. You have exceeded my expectations once again."

Rey grinned. Master Luke wasn't stingy with his praise, but he was rarely so effusive with it.

"Now let's have lunch, and then we can start training with blaster bolts," he said practically.

"Sure, there's just one other thing I have to do, and I'll be right there" she turned off her weapon, and then darted into her hut.

When Luke saw her come out with the bundle that contained Kylo's gift, he nodded understandingly and went to his hut to prepare their meal.

Rey made the trek to the far end of the island. It was small, but this side was rocky and nearly impassible. When she had gone as far as she could, she sat down and began a meditation.

Once she had found the proper state of mind, she lifted the lightsaber from it's wrappings, and it floated in front of her much as her own weapon had moments before. With a push of her hand, it flew away, zipping out over the rolling waves and out of sight. She followed it with her mind, watching as it sank through the cold waters, guiding it carefully into a deep crevice and pushing a few rocks over to conceal it. There were a few thermal vents in the area that should confuse any sensors looking for such a small object. No one would be able to find it without first knowing where it was.

Opening her eyes, Rey sighed. "And good riddance, too," she muttered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, I gotta tell you, I started watching Clone Wars for storytelling ammo for Padme, and I'm unexpectedly impressed. I've avoided it because I absolutely hate the character designs, but everything else is amazing. Today's story comes from season 6, and yes, Anakin almost beat a guy to death. Heavy stuff! 
> 
> Anyway, thank you all so much for your wonderful comments, they are my muse's bread and butter. It's an amazing feeling to pick up my phone and see that someone new has something to say about my little story. Much hugs and warm thoughts!


	20. Days Go By

"So the war is going well, then?" Luke asked.

"Yes." Leia's sigh came over the subspace transmission as a hiss of static. "For the time being. After the attack on the Hosnian system, whatever government officials survived scrambled to rally behind the Resistance. It seems that the First Order's superweapon backfired in more way than one - nothing will unite political rivals like a clear threat and a common enemy. Much of the galaxy still remembers the terror of living under the Empire, and while the Death Star was a demonstration of tyrannical rule to a nearly subjugated galaxy, Starkiller Base is being seen as an act of terror by an upstart enemy. No one is going to stand by and let the First Order take over."

Luke made a sound of agreement.  He could tell his sister had given this little speech several times before, but he didn't mind. He knew she tended to get stuck in Senator mode, and the formal response was just an indication of how tired she was. He was touched that she had taken the time out of her very busy schedule to call and catch up with him.

"Still, even with Starkiller Base destroyed, the First Order was a highly organized military force. With the destruction of the Republic Fleet and the loss of the Corellian shipyards, that doesn't leave you much to fight with," Luke stroked his beard thoughtfully.

"You're telling me!" She let out a snort. "The Resistance, peopled as it is by rebels and rogues, isn't exactly a bastion of well-ordered leadership, and I've got my hands full trying to change that. Fortunately," she stopped to take a sip of caf, "it would appear that I have an excellent source of intel."

Luke chuckled at her wry tone. "Thank the Force for small miracles," he agreed, "however unusual they may seem. Is anyone suspicious?"

"Oh, they're suspicious, but we're being careful.  We haven't used it for any offensive strikes, not yet, but whenever we fight a defensive battle, we're always a little more prepared, a little quicker to respond than the First Order plans for. Losses still happen, but they're few and never terribly devastating. There's a rumor, you know, that you've actually returned, in secret, and your 'prophetic visions of the future' are what's keeping the Resistance one step ahead."

A bark of laughter escaped him. "If only I had such power!" he joked.

She was quiet a moment, and he worried that she was going to ask him to leave Ach-To again. But she had something else on her mind. "There are darker whispers, which call to mind my... recently revealed heritage. They think maybe it's me looking into the future - it's said that Darth Vader was known to have just such an advantage." Her voice was bitter and sullen.

"He did not," Luke said firmly. "Our father was very strong in the Force, but even he could not see the future clearly. And what he did see was often misleading." Luke remembered what Rey had said about the circumstances surrounding their mother's death.

Leia sighed again, and there was a long pause as she took a deep drink of her caf. Luke prodded the fire with a stick, waiting for her to collect herself.

"Well, while I'm less than thrilled to have the subject of my biological father brought up in public discourse again, I'm not doing anything to stifle the rumor mill. As long as everyone is poking around in _that_ direction of our family tree, they won't think to look the other way," she reasoned.

"Let's hope so," Luke agreed.

Leia paused, then said in a rush, "What do you think it means, Luke? Why do you think he's doing this?" Her voice was twisted with emotion.

Luke shook his head. "I don't know. I don't know him anymore, Leia. If it were Ben, I might say it was a good sign, that he's reaching out. But the person he's become... it could be he's doing it entirely for his own benefit, to lay the groundwork for a coup, like Rey said. He could be doing it to earn Rey's trust, to keep her coming back. She's obviously infatuated with him, and from what she says the attraction is even stronger on his end. Or he could be playing some deeper game that we can't even guess at."

"We'll just have to trust Rey," she said decisively.

The corner of Luke's mouth twitched. "You have much confidence in my apprentice. She's very young."

"She's no younger than we were when we met," Leia insisted. "She's a survivor, she knows what she wants, and she has the strength of personality that she won't let anything stand in her way."

Luke's smile grew into a grin. "Now who does that remind me of?"

* * *

Rey's training was going good, too. She and Kylo had settled into rhythm, meeting in the trance every three cycles. Kylo's schedule was a little unpredictabile, and so he wasn't always able to make it, but with time and practice, Rey found she could get a good sense of how he was feeling even when he was awake, and sometimes she even caught glimpses of what he was doing. Most often it was boring meetings - there was a man with red hair who scowled a lot, he appeared several times and Rey could feel how much Kylo loathed him. Once or twice Rey brushed up against Kylo's mind during a battle, and the exhilarating rush as he reveled in the kill was heady and difficult to shake upon waking.

The dreams with Padme continued as well, and Rey came to cherish the stories she learned. She could see why Kylo admired his grandfather, even if she couldn't understand how that justified his current actions. She imagined it had something to do with what he had done after he had become Darth Vader. Padme, of course, had no recollection of these events, and when Rey had asked Luke he had shook his head and said that he preferred not to think about it.

Rey didn't think it was her place to mention, but she began to wonder if the Jedi way was about _avoiding_ emotions, rather than letting them go.

Lightsaber training, however, was fantastic. Kylo revealed that he had stolen a Jedi Holocron from Luke's academy when he destroyed it, and had been studying it since to improve his skills. He passed on what he had learned to Rey, as best he could. Rey would then go straight to Luke and discuss the night's lesson. To her surprise, Luke wasn't terribly upset at Kylo's theft of the relic. He reasoned that was better than it being destroyed, and while he would have preferred that Rey could access it herself, this was almost as good. They had three cycles to work out the flaws in Kylo's teaching, and Rey got plenty of real-world practice. Trance work was great for transferring knowledge, Kylo could make her feel exactly how each move should go. But for muscle memory, nothing but hard work and repetition in the real world would do. Before long her lightsaber was like an extension of her arm, as familiar as her staff had been, and she could even weild it passably with only one end lit.

She had already gotten a good grasp on the first two forms,  Shii-Cho and Makashi. The first was just basics, and while Kylo was decently talented at the duel-oriented Makashi, it didn't translate well to her dual-bladed weapon. The third form, Soresu, had been an absolute breeze for Rey, the circular patterns were long familiar to her from fighting with her staff. But it was almost purely defensive, and Kylo deemed it therefore 'weak.' In response to this comment,  Luke had revealed that Soresu had been the form favored by Obi-Wan Kenobi, and let the implications of his defeat of the newly-turned Darth Vader stand as its defense.

Kylo had scoffed at this, apparently it was an old familiar argument between the two. He'd gone on a tirade about the new form Darth Vader had developed to compensate for his cybernetic body, and Rey had resolved not to be a messenger for arguments between nephew and uncle again.

Since then they'd been working on Ataru and Djem So, the fourth and fifth forms, simultaneously. Rey favored the former, the acrobatic elements more adaptable to her speed and small stature. Kylo had all but mastered Djem So, as even Luke admitted. The brutal swings and chops were well suited to his tall figure and boundless energy fueled by the Dark Side. Rey thought it no coincidence that Anakin Skywalker had been a Djem So master, too.

As Rey banked her fire in preparation for a cold night - winter was setting in on Ach-To, bringing unimaginably unpleasant weather - she wondered what they would study tonight. The sixth form, Niiman, had been largely lost, more designed for peace keeping than combat, and even Luke admitted he didn't see much point in studying it. The seventh form, though....

Juyo had been a well-kept secret even before the Clone Wars. It called upon the wielder to to lose herself to the frenzy of battle, which veered dangerously close to tapping the Dark Side. Those Jedi who mastered it were careful to only pass it along to students who they believed could handle the temptation. The stolen holocron did contain instruction on Juyo, Luke himself had studied the seventh form from it, although he chose neither to incorporate it into his own style nor to teach it to his students. But the Holocron was a near-sentient thing, sensing the intentions and power of whoever sought it's secrets, and it had decided that Kylo Ren was not worthy of Juyo.

Kylo had nearly destroyed the holocron in a fit of temper when he was first denied. But he recognized in time that this was his only real source for instruction, and had spared it. Rey had snorted at that, but she found she was a little disappointed herself. The Sith whose weapon she had patterned her own after had supposedly been a Juyo master, and she was curious how it would work. Kylo had offered to bring the holocron the next time she visited him in person - he wasn't too proud to learn it second hand, if she could succeed where he failed - but thus far the risk of meeting up hadn't yet been overcome by the need to do so.

A sense of unease had sunk into Rey's bones along with the evening's chill. She worried that Juyo represented her first real temptation towards the Dark Side. Thus far it had been easy to resist Kylo's invitation to join him because she was determined to bring him back to the light. But she couldn't lie to herself that the thought of learning the forbidden form filled her with a frisson of illicit delight.

When she finished banking the coals against a large, iron-hard block of root wood, Rey settled on her pallet and began breathing deeply. Usually when she prepared for the trance all of her worries melted away, but tonight she struggled for peace. There was something nagging at her subconscious, some premonition of trouble. Was Kylo in danger? She had a bad feeling about this.

Just before she sank completely into the trance, she caught the barest whisper of Kylo's voice. <Stay away.>

Rey should have listened, she knew better than to question the warning, but her curiosity and concern for him flared - had he sounded frightened? - and before she could stop herself, the connection was made.

<Oh, Rey...> he whimpered, sounding terrified and beaten and angry all at once.

Rey was too disoriented to reply. The trance had not resolved into a tangible environment. A figure hung in suspended animation before her, nebulous and poorly defined beyond the wisps of a fluttering cloak. Kylo, she recognized on some level. He was turned away from her, and gave almost no indication that he was aware of her presence. The only sign was one hand,  held low and almost behind his leg, but fingers splayed wide as if to halt her from coming any closer. All around them colors swirled, void black and bruise purple and dried-blood red.

With a lurch, Rey recognized where she was, although she had only been there once - Kylo's mind. And a spike of fear lanced up her spine as she realized they weren't alone there.

"The scavenger girl... how do you know her name?" A voice, cold and gravelly as the boulders dragged along the underside of a glacier, seemed to come from everywhere at once.

"The interrogation--" Kylo started.

"Don't lie to me, boy!" the voice thundered, painful as a blow to the face. Rey flinched, and tucked herself against Kylo's back to hide.

<You have to go!> He sounded desperate.

<I'm not leaving you to face this alone!> she argued, and pressed herself against him harder.

<He'll see you!> Rey was struck by how much he sounded like his younger self, scared and lost.

<No, he won't.> She wasn't sure where the rush of quiet, warm confidence came from, but she put her hands on his shoulder blades and let it flow into him.

"You've seen her, haven't you?" the voice asked. Rey could feel it digging, prying into memories of the Rishi Maze.

"Yes, Supreme Leader," Kylo answered, sounding far more self-assured than he had a moment ago.

The presence - Snoke, Rey realized - withdrew a little, surprised.

"Forgive me Master, I had hoped to wait until my plan had reached fruition before bothering you with it." That much, at least, was technically true, although 'bothering' was a rather distant synonym of 'killing.' Rey could feel him scrambling for an explanation, and offered her own wordless suggestions to help.

"Go on," Snoke drawled, distrustful but intrigued.

"When my interrogation on Starkiller Base failed,  it forged some sort of connection with her. I discovered that I could access her dreams, bend them to my will. Better yet, she thought I was a figment of her own subconscious. Using this influence, I lured her to the Rishi Maze, where I physically seduced her. I also gave her a powerful Sith artifact, and encouraged her to use it." Kylo's report was dry and pragmatic, and some part of Rey shivered at just how close to the truth it was.

"I see. And why did you let her go, instead of bringing her to me, as I had instructed?" The voice dripped with witheld anger, a hand raised to strike.

Rey felt Kylo draw a shaky breath. "Because she has found Luke Skywalker," he revealed. He hesitated. "But despite my best efforts, I can't get her to reveal the location."

Snoke made a disgusted sound, his disappointment in Kylo almost overwhelming. "If she is that strong, how did you lure her away?"

Rey could hear the wry smile in Kylo's voice. "She thinks I can be _redeemed_ ," he laughed.

The Supreme Leader chuckled darkly. "Ah, the endless folly of the innocent. What is your plan for her then?"

"I am working to undermine the training bond between her and Skywalker," Kylo explained. "She's impatient with his instruction, and has agreed to let me teach her the lightsaber forms, in her sleep."

"And how is that going?" Snoke seemed intrigued.

"She desires to learn Juyo, Master." This time the sly glee in his voice was genuine, and he let the implications hang in the air. After a long moment, he went on. "It is my hope that with enough time and... encouragement, I won't even need to find Skywalker."

Rey felt her blood run cold. The words he spoke were true. But was the implication?

"Hmmm... so you seek to make an assassin of your apprentice, then?" Snoke asked smoothly.

"She's not my apprentice." Kylo didn't fall for the trap. "She prefers to think of me as her equal, and I allow her this delusion."

Rey struggled to contain her irritation.

"Very well. Your plan has some merit, but you should not have hid it from me. You will lure her out again and bring her to me for testing. If I am satisfied with what I find, you may keep her, and do with her what you wish," Snoke ordered.

Kylo froze. "It... will take some time to arrange a rendezvous, if I am not to alert her suspicion."

The voice sighed, exasperated. "Use whatever resources you deem necessary, and take your time. But don't stall too long, Kylo Ren."

<You should go,> Kylo sounded much better.

<Are you sure?> Rey rested her forehead against his spine.

<Yes, I was just worried he would find you. Go, I'll come to you in a few hours.>

<I'll be waiting,> she agreed, and with a rush of affection, she faded from his mind as gently as she could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I HAVE been working on this story, just not chronologically. Bad habit, I know. But I was really stuck on this chapter because it had so much STUFF in it, and none of it really fun, and I was afraid if I wrote it all out in scene it would end up as five chapters worth of boring plot development. 
> 
> So I plunked it all down as narrative. A friend had the brilliant idea of turning some of the info into a "servant's dump" like in Shakespearean plays where two servants gossiping give the audience all the info on on what's happened, so that's where the convo between Luke and Leia came from. 
> 
> Also, I am a huge martial arts nerd and I apologize for all the lightsaber babble. One of my absolute favorite things about Star Wars is that there are identifyable styles of fighting loosely based on real-world styles (Makashi=Katana, Soresu=Dao Sword, Djem So=Broadsword etc). On top of this, different practitioners have individual ways of presenting their style. Anakin's Djem So in the prequels (particularly ep III, when he's mastered it) is terrifyingly precise, almost surgical in it's viciousness. Kylo's Djem So in Episode VII is recklessly brutal, and Adam Driver's performance brilliantly conveys the extreme physical effort of such a style. One of the (many) mistakes made in the prequels is that the lightsaber choreography was so mind-blowingly flawless that people with knowledge of swordplay knew how impossibly awesome it was, but to the general viewer it looked easy. I am beyond excited to see how the fight choreography continues in Rogue One and Episode VIII.
> 
> I have big plans for this story, we're only a couple chapters away from where it splits up, and I'm stoked. However, I'm also doing a new original novel for National November Writing Month, so it might bDecember before I really have time to devote to it. Thank you guys for hanging in there with my ridiculous update schedule, I really appreciate it!


	21. Falling Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got another one done warming up for NaNoWriMo! Enjoy!

Rey spent the next few hours half-awake and anxious. She tossed on her pallet, restless with worry. She wanted to get up, run around the island, practice her lightsaber forms, _something_. But Kylo had said he would come to her in a few hours, so she tried to stay asleep, with little success.

In the end, dawn came with no word from Kylo.

Rey got up, stiff and exhausted in the weak light of the winter morning. She wrapped herself in the thick cloak Leia had sent and made her way along the slippery, frost rimed path to Luke's hut.

He glanced up as she ducked into the small space, and froze in the act of adding a few herbs to the pot he was tending on the fire. "What's troubling you, Rey?"

She sat gracelessly by the fire and poured herself a large cup of caf. Usually she didn't touch the stuff, opting for tea instead, but today she needed the stimulant. "Snoke found out about me."

Luke sat up slowly, and she could feel a rush in the Force as he gathered his power around him, as it wrapped protectively around her. Her eyes pricked at the instinctive paternal reaction, but at the same time she felt irritated. She was still on-edge from the long night.

"It wasn't Kylo's fault," she explained quickly, knowing his scowl preceded a lecture on trusting the Dark Jedi. "I initiated the trance while Snoke was... interrogating him. He didn't seem to know I was there, but caught the direction of Kylo's thoughts, and..." she shrugged.

Luke shuddered. "You mean to tell me that Snoke was using the same tactic on his apprentice as Kylo used on you and commander Dameron?"

Rey nodded, breathing in the warm steam from her cup, wishing it would taste as good as it smelled. "It seemed like a routine thing. Kylo's always skittish about mentioning Snoke's name in the trance, seemed to think he would find out somehow."

The Jedi Master stared at his apprentice for a long moment, and then started scooping out bowls of grain porridge for them both, his movements jerky and rough with barely suppressed anger. Rey was surprised, it was the most obvious display of emotion she'd seen from Luke, and watched him carefully. Was he angry at her? Or Kylo? Drawing on the Force, she reached out carefully and felt for the echoes of his thoughts. She was careful not to touch his mind, but instead tested the energy around him, as he had taught her.

He was angry at _Snoke_. Angry at how he had stolen Ben away and then mistreated him so, that he would do such an evil, violating thing to the young man on a regular basis. Despite all the history between them, Luke still felt a strong familial connection to Leia's son, and it quite nearly enraged him to learn he was being abused.

But as she watched, he pushed the anger aside and then focused on the problem at hand. "How long do we have before we have to leave?" He handed her a bowl of porridge.

Blinking, Rey took it. "Leave?"

"If Snoke knows our location, then we can't stay here." Her teacher began shoveling the hot porridge into his mouth, as if he planned to pack up the moment he was done.

"He doesn't know our location. He can't," Rey said soothingly.

Luke paused. "If Kylo knows, then eventually--"

"Kylo _doesn't_ know. He's never asked, after that first interrogation. And I've never told him. I'm not stupid," she snapped at his incredulous expression. She regretted it immediately, and winced. "Sorry, I didn't get much sleep and I'm cranky."

"That is perfectly understandable," Luke accepted her apology with a wave of his metallic hand. "I am also sorry. Of course you wouldn't tell him, although I am surprised he didn't ask."

Rey shifted uncomfortably, and scowled down into her porridge.

The old Jedi frowned, opened his mouth to say something, but then seemed to think better of it and went back to eating his porridge.

Rey appreciated Luke's wisdom in not prying too much. She finished her breakfast slowly, letting the stimulant and warm nutrients work their magic. Her thoughts began to order themselves, and as she came more fully awake she was able to remember her training and calm herself.

"There were some things that Kylo said to Snoke which upset me," she said at length.

Luke nodded as if he had expected this was the case.

"Most of what he said was misdirection, he was saying what Snoke wanted to hear. But he could tell if Kylo was lying outright, so he kept pretty close to the truth, just... worded it so it sounded very different." Rey said slowly, turning the words over in her head.

He listened patiently, sensing that this was difficult for her to process.

"Some of it I know where the line between truth and implications is, like the idea that he seduced me," she smiled wryly, remembering her earlier conversation with Luke on that exact topic. "But some of it hadn't even occurred to me. He said... He told Snoke that he was trying to undermine my training bond with you by teaching me the lightsaber forms."

A quirk of his lips let Rey know that this was not a new concept to Luke, but that he wasn't terribly worried about it. 

"He also said that he thought eventually he wouldn't even need to find you... because I'm already here," Rey breathed.

Luke drew in a deep breath and sat back, thinking. "I don't think Kylo has the kind of sway over you that would be necessary to use you to assassinate me," he said calmly. "Not that he's not capable of that kind of influence, but you have a natural resistance to mental tampering, and if I had any doubts that such a thing had happened, I would have rejected you as an apprentice."

Rey's head jerked back, as if slapped.

Her teacher's expression softened. "Not because I wouldn't want to teach you, Rey, but because that particular tactic has already been used against me in the past. Fool me once..." he shrugged.

That did paint things in a new light. "Do you think, maybe he suggested that tactic _because_ he knows Snoke would use it?" She asked hopefully.

Luke nodded. "It's possible. Tell me... until now, I've avoided asking what he says of me. I thought it would seem like prying, and honestly I didn't want to hear it. But does he try to convince you that I'm a crazy old fool who doesn't know what he's doing?"

Rey laughed, surprised. "Well he's _called_ you that, but it wasn't really a persuasive argument. He seems to think you're just too bogged down in tradition and not willing to train me as fast as he thinks I should be. But even he admits that he's living proof that you've got good reason to be cautious with me, and he seems content to let me draw my own conclusions."

"Well as long as he's not pouring poison in your ear then I don't think you have much to worry about on that end. He'd have to foster the kind of all-encompassing resentment towards me that Snoke did in him, and I sincerely doubt he has the motivation to do so. Especially if he thinks it would risk losing you," Luke reasoned.

Rey nodded along, the logic of his words comforting her. She was a little surprised that Luke was defending Kylo's position, instead of taking this opportunity to convince Rey that her bond with the Dark Jedi was too dangerous to indulge. Perhaps her teacher had finally come to see that she was capable of handling the situation, or that she had a genuine chance of bringing Kylo back to the light.

_She thinks I can be redeemed...._

She shuddered. It had been clear, in that moment, that Kylo himself had little faith in such an idea.

Master and apprentice sat in a thoughtful silence, the fire crackling merrily between them. At last, Luke began to clean up the remains of breakfast, and Rey helped him.

"So what's the plan going forward?" Luke asked tentatively.

"I don't know. Kylo said he would come back to the trance in a few hours, but he never did. I don't feel anything wrong with our bond, so I don't think he's in danger, but something must have come up. Snoke ordered him to 'lure me out,' so he could 'test' me for something--"

"No," Luke said firmly. "You cannot go."

Rey scowled at him. "I don't _want_ to go. But if I don't, if Kylo takes too long to follow this order, Snoke may decide to find me by other methods. To say nothing of how he'll punish Kylo for his failure."

Luke shook his head. "What a mess."

Silently, Rey agreed. "I will meditate on it," she promised, and sighed heavily. "I have three cycles to think it over, after all."

\-----

At the end of the day, still exhausted and frazzled, Rey fell asleep almost the moment her head hit the pillow. So it was with some surprise that she felt the undeniable tug of the bond with Kylo. Rolling over on her pallet, she stretched out a hand and reached, unconscious, to complete the link.

Slowly, she became aware of her surroundings, a dark cavern lit by the swirling lights visible  through a crevasse. For a moment she thought maybe she was in Kylo's mind again, but the colors were too soothing, greens and blues and purples. With the peculiar surety of dreams, she recognized their rendezvous point in the Rishi Maze.

"It worked, thank the stars," Kylo's voice sounded exhausted, unstrung.

Turning around, Rey found him standing before her. He looked as he had at the end of their fight on Starkiller Base: The gash in his face was livid and smoldering, his robes tattered. He stood hunched over, clutching his side where Chewbacca had shot him.

"Kylo!" Rey ran to him, and when she put her arms around him he collapsed, pulling them both to the rocky floor. She tried to sit up, carefully turning him onto his back, but he pushed back, pressing her against the stones and crushing her mouth in a desperate kiss. Gasping, she pushed at him. "Kylo you're hurt, let me see, we need to get you help."

"No," he growled, claiming her lips again. "I need _you_. Now. Can't you feel it?"

With a shock, Rey realized she _could_ feel it, not only in the raging erection he pressed against her so urgently, but in the frantic thrumming of the bond between them. She hadn't felt this way since they'd met in the Rishi Maze, as if she wanted to dissolve into him and dissappear entirely. Her thoughts clarified, and she realized that she wasn't dreaming after all.

"You started the trance!" she said as he moved away from her mouth so he could bite her neck, hard.

"Yes," he moaned, his hands roaming over her body and claiming her in greedy handfuls. "I need you Rey, stop fighting me."

Rey hadn't even realized she was struggling against him still. She paused, and he sat up to straddle her. A knife appeared in his hand, and he used it to tear open her shirt and bindings in one swipe, knicking her skin in the process. Barely noticing, she studied the ruin of his face carefully. He looked crazed, half lost, with dark circles under his eyes.

"What happened to you?" She asked softly, reaching up to touch the line that bisected his features.

He slapped her hand away and began to yank the torn fabric of her clothes over her shoulders.

Rey had had it. With a heave she arched her back and threw him off, then quickly pinned him underneath her own small form, arms trapped. "I'm not a toy you can break when you feel like throwing a temper tantrum!" She shouted, inches from his face.

He flinched, and then whimpered. Rey instantly felt horrible, but held her ground. She kissed him, softly, and then sat back to consider. "I'll give you what you need, Kylo, but you need to give me something first. I've been worried sick all day. What happened?"

Kylo squeezed his eyes shut, and for one ludicrous moment she thought he was trying to hide from her. Then she saw a trickle of tears fall from one eye, and she reached out to brush it away with one thumb. He flinched away from her touch, and gasped.

"I'm sorry!" She jerked her hand back..

"No," he choked, blinking his eyes open. "It feels good. Please don't stop."

Cautiously, Rey drew her fingers along his ruined cheek, and he groaned, leaning into her touch. The move brought her hand in contact with the gash, and she pulled her hand back again, worried about hurting him. But where she had touched him, the cut had healed from charred black to an angry red. When she touched it again, the healing spread, and she traced the line until it had smoothed into the pink scar he wore now.

As she did this, he began to speak, his voice hitching with barely supressed sobs. "He... he could tell I was hiding something. He went looking. It took a long time. He didn't find anything. But oh, it hurt Rey. I didn't know it would hurt so much. I swear I didn't let him find anything though, I promise--"

"Shh, shh," Rey said softly, and leaned forward to gently kiss the newly healed skin. That _bastard_. She felt the same rage Luke had when she'd mentioned it to her teacher, magnified a thousandfold. She burned with it, but her touch stayed light and soothing on his battered body. Moving so she was no longer pinning him, she made quick work of his clothes, and saw all the places he was hurt. Every scar, not just those she had caused, was a fresh, angry wound against his pallid skin.

Rey found every one, and poured her affection through lips and hands, healing the skin and the man beneath it.

Beneath her, Kylo was a shuddering mess. He gulped for air, struggling not to cry out, teeth clenched as tears ran freely down his face. Almost as an afterthought, she waved a hand and the scene around them changed to the interior of the ship he had stolen, the double-wide berth where he had tended her when she was sick.

When the last of his hurts had been mended, Kylo gripped her wrist, so hard it hurt, an unspoken question in his eyes. She didn't fight him as he pushed her onto her back once more, didn't object as he roughly yanked the rest of her clothes off. She made no protest as he pressed into her sharply, only arched her back to give him better access. As he set a savage pace, she drew her hands up his scarred back, gentle, encouraging, accepting. When he bit her shoulder, she murmured in his ear. She knew, could feel through their bond, that this was a sort of healing too.

She was so focused on giving Kylo what he needed that her own climax took her entirely by surprise. Rey clung to him, and he stilled, almost as startled as she was. When it passed he pulled back, looking down at her with wonder in his eyes.

_I love you_. The words were almost out of her mouth before she could stop them. Instead, she opened herself to him mentally, and let him feel what she felt, without daring to put words on it.

<I don't deserve you,> he whispered in her mind.

<It's not something you earn,> she slowly realized. <It's something you are.> Holding out her arms, she reached for him. "Does that make sense?" she asked aloud.

A ghost of a smile hovered on his lips. "No. But I understand." He lowered his head to kiss her, gently, and she felt a rush of affection mingled with pain as he opened his mind to her as well. He was so excruciatingly vulnerable, still raw from Snoke's interrogation, but there, at the core of him, in a place he had fought tooth and nail to keep hidden, was a perfect echo of what she felt.

Their lovemaking turned gentle, and they lost all sense of time as they found solace in each other.

\-----

"Were you really intending to convince me to assassinate Master Luke?" Rey asked softly. Her head was pillowed on Kylo's chest, lulled by the rhythm of his breathing. But the question wouldn't leave her alone.

He let out a mirthless chuckle. "The idea occurred to me, when I first discovered the bond. But I didn't entertain it for very long. I didn't know you then."

"And you do now?" she teased.

"I know that no one 'convinces' you of anything," he reasoned. "You make up your own mind what you're going to do."

There was a long pause, during which Rey turned an unpleasant thought over in her head. "What _are_ we going to do?"

"We'll have to kill him," he said dully. It was clear they were no longer speaking of Luke Skywalker.

She sat up, looking at him. "We're not ready. _I'm_ not ready."

He sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. "What other choice do we have?"

Laying back down, she thought it over. "We could keep pretending," she argued. "I could come to you. If you can hide me from him, surely I can make it through these 'tests' he wants to do--"

"No," Kylo said firmly. "You cannot go."

Rey laughed, a brief, choked sound. He turned to face her, an eyebrow raised. "You sound _exactly_ like your uncle."

He pressed his lips together a moment, and then sighed. "Well then maybe the fact that we agree on this will convince you."

She blinked, shocked.

"If he gets his hooks in you, Rey, you'll never escape. You'll never go back to Luke or the Resistance. I will no longer be able to protect you from him." There was a dull, resigned note in his voice that let her know she could never convince him otherwise.

Rey considered it. There was absolutely no way they could successfully pull it off without support from the Resistance. "Where is he? What would the plan be?"

Kylo waved a hand above them, and the bulkhead dissolved into a swirling map of the galaxy. "Here." He pointed to a nebula. It was deep in the uncharted territories, and Rey glanced to the location of Ach-To, which was deceptively closer than any known world.

"How do you even get there?" She tried to spot a clear path from one of the known hyperspace routes, but there was nothing.

Waving his hand again, a zig-zag line appeared among the glittering stars, leading from the far side of known space. Rey's mind boggled at the number of jumps it indicated.

"Thirty-seven," Kylo said dismally. "It goes past three black holes and through a field of dark matter. Unless you have the exact coordinates for each jump, it's absolutely inaccessable."

Rey suspected there was probably a more direct route, but they didn't have time to find it. "That sounds like a lot of data for one nav computer to process," she mused.

"Too much," he agreed. "The coordinates are sent via encrypted subspace message after every jump. Even that's too much for one ship's computer to hold at once."

Reaching up, Rey traced the path with one fingertip. "If we could get the encryption code to the the Resistance, they could intercept the messages, maybe store them on a supercomputer, or a string of computers...."

"How would we get that to the Resistance? If we send out any signals they'll know something's up. And sometimes the encryption changes partway through." He didn't sound hopeful.

"I might be able to send it to Master Luke. Maybe. If I practiced," she mused. "I don't know."

Kylo made a sound of agreement.

"Okay, so we start making the jumps, and presumably the Resistance follows after. Then what? What do we do when we get there?" Rey asked.

"I'll bring you to him under the pretense of having you tested. We'll stall for time if necessary, and as soon as the Resistance comes out of hyperspace, we'll attack." He made it sound simple.

"What kind of resistance is he going to put up?"

"Well our biggest worry is if he can call in guards. That's why the simultaneous attack is so important, it would give us a distraction, and in the confusion his summons could go unanswered. If our attention is divided, he'll get in our heads and we lose." Kylo explained.

Rey was not exstatic that the Resistance's involvement wasn't even guaranteed to help. "So he won't fight us physically, then?"

"He doesn't need to. But I don't think he'll be able to attack both of us mentally at the same time. As long as one of us has a clear head, we have a chance to defeat him. He'll probably focus more on you, assume that I'm still under his thumb. But as long as you can hold out for a bit, it should be okay." He reasoned.

"Except, what if he has whoever's under his control attack the other?" The words made her feel sick, and a shiver ran down her spine.

Kylo turned to look at her, fear in his eyes. Obviously he hadn't thought of that.

"What if... instead of two on one, we made it three on one?" she suggested cautiously.

"You mean... Master Skywalker?" Kylo made a face. "No, there's no way to work it. We can't get him on the ship with us, and we won't have time for him to join us after the Resistance arrives. If it takes us that long to kill him, then we're not going to make it."

Rey shook her head, and sighed. "The odds of this working are... astronomically high."

Kylo rolled his eyes. "I don't want to hear the odds, Rey. Have you got a better plan?"

She laughed. "I don't, but I'm no tactician. If we're bringing the Resistance in on this, they might have someone with a better head for such things than me."

"Fair enough," he said, and a faint smile played over his lips.

"What?" she asked, turning her back to the map and propping her chin on his chest.

He tucked a stray wisp of hair behind her ear. "As hopeless as this all sounds, I can't help but look forward to it."

She raised an eyebrow. "Why, you got a death wish?"

He shook his head. "I'll get to see you again. To feel you, to make you mine again." His hands wandered down her body, grabbing her hips and moving her to straddle him once more. The map swirled around her head, crowning her with stars. "And this time I'm not letting you go."

Rey shuddered, a long-forgotten nightmare suddenly remembered.

_< Go, Ben! Run!> she screamed throught the bond._

_Overlapping images of Kylo appeared before her. One smiled. He came closer, looming over her, a fiercely possessive gleam in his eyes._

_The other looked pained, and turned to run away, leaving her frozen and alone._

Blinking, Rey's vision cleared, and Kylo solidified before her, his expression vaguely concrned.

"Are you alright?" He ran a hand up her back.

"Yes," she lied. Leaning forward, she kissed Kylo, and then did her damndest to lose herself in his passion, and forget what she had seen once again.


	22. Best Laid Plans

Rey strode into Luke's hut the next morning. "It's time to prepare for the coup," she declared, and sat down by the fire.

Luke stared at her across the flames, his hand stilled where it had been stirring their breakfast. After a moment he looked away, and began stirring once more. "You're not ready," he said firmly.

"No, I'm not," she agreed. "But we don't have time for me to be ready. I'm not sure how much longer Kylo can hold it together against Snoke," she explained.

"You initiated the trance last night?" Luke guessed.

She shook her head. "He did. He was..." her voice caught in her throat, and a wave of anger washed over her. It was too strong to push away, the way Luke had taught her, so she let it rage for a moment until it burned out on it's own.

Luke eyed her warily, moving the pan of fried fish and tubers off the fire, but not dishing it up.

"Snoke went looking for more information about me in Kylo's mind. He took his time about it," she bit out.

Putting his head in his hands, Luke sighed heavily.

"He was an absolute wreck, Luke. He was coming apart at the seams, and I did everything I could to put him back together, but..." she trailed off, at a loss for words. "I have to do something, I can't just leave him there to suffer."

Slowly, Luke raised his head, staring off beyond the walls of the hut. "I understand," he said quietly, and with such conviction that Rey knew he wasn't just saying it to comfort her. "But have you considered that this is a trap? That Snoke is torturing him because he suspects you can sense his pain, and that it will motivate you to come running?"

Rey stared at him for a long moment. "No, I had not considered that possibility," she admitted. "But I still can't do nothing."

He nodded, and began dishing up their breakfast. "What's the plan, then?"

"There isn't much of one, really," she said sheepishly around a mouthful of hot food. "Snoke is hidden deep in unexplored space," she explained. "Actually, it's closer to here than it is to known space." She shivered.

"Small galaxy," Luke mumbled sarcastically.

"But the approach is from the other side, and it's so complicated that a single nav computer can't hold the data for the entire trip."

"How many jumps?" he asked.

"Thirty-seven," Rey sighed.

From the doorway, R2-D2 let out a low whistle.

"What we've come up with so far is this: If Kylo were to bring me to Snoke under the pretense of turning me to the Dark Side, and we were somehow able to communicate the jump data to the Resistance, and the Resistance was somehow able to store that data, then they could perform a diversionary strike that would engage Snoke's defenses so that we could fight him," Rey rattled off.

Luke scowled. "There's a lot of holes and ifs in that plan."

"I told you it wasn't much," she said dejectedly, and finished the last of her breakfast.

Her master took her plate back with a wry smile. "It's more than I often had to go on, back in the day. Thought I could just jump into things, and the Force would be my guide." He chuckled. "Leia was always the one with a plan. Let's see what she can come up with."

This time it was relatively easy to get ahold of Leia. She listened patiently to Rey's explanation, making no comment on Rey's preparedness to fight Snoke. She, too, was less than impressed with the plan, but at least had some ideas on how to close the gaps.

"The Kaminoans have the most advanced computers in the galaxy," she said thoughtfully. "They keep a record of the complete genome of every individual they've cloned, and that's a lot of data. They should have the space to store the nav instructions."

"But Kamino is neutral," Luke argued.

"Politically speaking, yes, but they're capitalists first. They'll do anything for the right amount of credits. Now, finding someone with that kind of bank is another issue altogether, but I'll pull some strings and see what I can come up with, and get started bargaining with the cloners," Leia said. "What kind of defenses does Snoke have in place?"

"I don't know," Rey admitted. "I can try to find out, but I don't know if my informant knows either. Honestly, it might be best to just throw everything you have at it."

Leia laughed, a warm, rough chuckle that made Luke smile in response. "I'd love to do that, just like the old days," the general assured her. "But I'm afraid things are more complicated now. With the New Republic Fleet destroyed and Corellia under the First Order's control, ships are an extremely valuable commodity. On top of that, most of the cruisers and larger ships at my disposal don't actually belong to me, and I'd have to convince their owners to agree to their use. With this kind of mission, that would be extremely difficult. The death of Palpatine didn't end the Empire, and I doubt Snoke's death will mean the First Order will dissolve, either."

Reluctantly, Rey had to agree. "What can you send, then?"

"I'm sure Commander Dameron will want in, so Black Squadron, to start with," Leia offered.

"Is Rogue Squadron still operating?" Luke asked.

"Yes, you're right, they'll want in on this sort of thing, too. We've got some old B-wing bombers, and I can throw in a transport or two in case you need an extraction." She said the last very casually, as if it were of little importance. "And I'll ask around if anyone else is up for a crazy, hair-brained mission," she joked. "It's likely we'll have a number of volunteers."

Rey frowned. Two X-wing squadrons, a few bombers, and the possibility of a bunch of tag alongs. It didn't sound promising. She got the feeling that Leia's mention of an extraction was more than a back-up plan. She thought about calling the General out on it, but then reconsidered. As far as she was concerned, an extraction wouldn't be the worst idea. At least it would get Kylo away from Snoke, although she wasn't sure if he was ready for that.

"Of course, all this is a moot point unless you can find a way to transmit the jump data in the first place," Leia pointed out.

"That is the sticking point," Luke agreed.

"Probably best that a hard-data transfer is impossible, after Scarif I have no desire to run that kind of mission again." The General sighed.

"Is it possible that I could somehow communicate it to you through the Force?" Rey asked.

He shook his head. "I've never heard of something that detailed or prolonged being communicated telepathically," he said.

"We've been working on a subspace transmission that can't be detected by the enemy," Leia put in, "but it functions by delivering the data very slowly, in very small packets. That kind of transmission would take... months for something this big."

Luke's face suddenly lit up. "One of the holocrons still in my possession has the training for a technique to memorize images," he suggested. "If you could master it quickly enough, you could possibly memorize the data if you had it on a readout, and then transmit it later, when it was safer to do so."

Rey balked. "If you would need a supercomputer to store it, how could I hold it all in my head?"

"You wouldn't," Luke explained. "You'd be remembering a _picture_ of the data, not the data itself. If the readout screen was large enough, and the text small enough, it would minimize the number of images you would have to memorize."

She considered it. "Maybe... If I can teach it to him, then we could take turns, and halve the amount, too."

Leia chuckled, but then seemed to catch herself and tried to turn it into a cough. Luke carefully hid a smile in his beard.

"What?" Rey glanced between her Master and R2-D2.

"Is this the same technique you encouraged him to try to pass his Academy finals?" Leia asked.

"Yes, but," Luke said quickly, "If Rey learns it first, she might be able to transfer the understanding to him in a way I could not."

"Well, we can hope it works better this time, then." The general gave a long sigh, that even through the static of subspace encryption seemed to convey a world of nostalgic sorrow.

Sensitive to her pain, Rey didn't push. Maybe she could find out from Kylo what they were talking about. "Alright, I'll work on that and see if I can get you some more intel. How soon do you think you'd be ready to strike?"

"I take it this is a rush?" Leia asked, the slightest anxiety slipping into her voice.

"We're working against the clock," Rey agreed, "but there's no definite deadline."

Leia sighed. "The hardest part will be the Kaminoans. Assuming I can find the credits, a week, maybe two?"

Wincing, Rey nodded. "I think I can stall for that long." _Hopefully Kylo can, too_ , she added silently.

"Good. I'm glad you came to me with this," Leia said brightly. "We could use a decisive strike, morale has been pretty low of late. People are starting to realize that this isn't going to be over quickly."

Luke let out a heavy sigh. "Sometimes I wonder if the war will ever end," he said bleakly.

_______

Rey wasn't willing to wait another three cycles, she could barely even focus on the holocron Luke had given her, although she felt like she was beginning to understand the basics of the technique. She went to bed early, and this time when she started the trance she felt Kylo reach for her almost immediately.

"I'd hoped you wouldn't wait," his voice came to her before the images around her even resolved. To her surprise, when they did it was to form the common room aboard the Millenium Falcon.

Rey raised an eyebrow, looking around them and coming to rest on Kylo, who was seated at the Dejarik table. In response to her unspoken question, Kylo shrugged. "This ship is a symbol. It's beaten the odds, over and over, and even though it's always just about to fall into scrap, it somehow pulls through. It was there for the destruction of both Death Stars."

Rey sat opposite him. "You're really committed to this then?"

He nodded sharply. "Any word from the Resistance?"

She sighed. "General Organa believes she can buy the necessary storage space for the jump data from the Kaminoans, who have the best supercomputers. If she can come up with the credits."

"I might be able to help with that," he murmured.

She eyed him incredulously. "You're rich?"

Kylo snorted. "Hardly. But General Hux has an interesting array of access codes to a number of holdings on Utapau, some of which predate the Clone Wars."

"Won't he notice if the money goes missing?"

"Not until he tries to access it himself, which he might not do for some time. He doesn't use them for military funding, they're part of his inheritance," he explained.

"And you know this because...?"

He gave a wry smile. "I've made it my business to acquire as much information as possible about the General. If Snoke falls, he's the most likely candidate to take control of the First Order. He has the lineage, the tactical knowledge, and the popularity within the ranks to pull it off. And enough money to buy a small planet."

Rey leaned back in her seat and crossed her arms. "Fair enough. So we transfer some credits to the Resistance, and they use it to pay for the storage space. That still leaves the question of how we're going to get the data to the Resistance. Master Luke says there's no way we can send something that complex through the Force, but the Resistance has a new way of sending messages very slowly through subspace that can't be detected. But it would require us to memorize images of the data, using a Force technique..."

Kylo groaned and dropped his head on the table.

"...which they mentioned you might already be familiar with?"

"Oh, yes. I tried to use it for my finals at the Academy. Instead of studying, I memorized all of my instructional texts, one screen at a time. Unfortunately, there's no way to mentally search the images you memorize," he complained.

"So... you had to sit there and mentally read the whole text to find the answers?" She guessed.

He lifted his head from the table and buried his face in one hand. "I only completed the first twenty percent of the first test in the allotted time. I made up some story about a 'disturbance in the Force' distracting me and begged for an extension to take the tests later."

"How'd that go?" Rey smiled, pretty sure she knew how this story ended.

"They called my mother," he choked out, "who, if you've noticed, is also Force-sensitive. She called my bluff, and I had to repeat the entire term."

"Ouch." Rey laughed. It struck her how surreal it was to talk to him like this, about his past, even though it pained him. She wondered if this was what he had been like before he turned to the dark side.

After a long moment he put his hand down, and sighed. "If we put some kind of numerical marker on the images to keep them in order, it should work, though. We don't need to search the content of the data, just report it without mixing it up."

"Really?" Rey grinned.

He nodded. "I'd need to relearn the technique, it's been... oh, a dozen rotations."

"I have the holocron, I can catch you up once I've got it down," she assured him, excited. "Okay, that only leaves the question of Snoke's defenses. What kind of force does he keep with him at his base?"

Kylo frowned. "I'm not sure what the typical arrangement is. The few times I've been there, he's had a couple star destroyers on hand, plus planetary-level defenses on the small moon his base is on. What?" he asked, clearly concerned by her expression.

Rey felt all the color drain out of her face. "General Organa can only spare a small force for the diversion. A couple X-wing squadrons, some bombers, and a transport or two. Maybe more if there's volunteers."

For a few moments, Kylo sat perfecty still, although his breathing began to accelerate rapidly. Suddenly he stood, throwing himself away from the table with an inarticulate shout of rage. It was a good thing the Dejarik set was bolted into the floor, otherwise he probably would have thrown it across the room.

"Does she think this is a joke?!" he screamed, more at the room in general than at her. Igniting his lightsaber, he slashed it through one of the storage panels, scattering supplies everywhere.

Rey fought the urge to make herself small and scarce. She'd heard tell of Kylo's temper tantrums, and honestly was surprised that this was the first she had seen. "It's a high-risk mission, and even if we're successful, it won't mean the end of the First Order," she said calmly. "You said yourself that General Hux is poised to take the helm."

"High Risk?!" He shouted, turning to face her. " _She's_ taking a risk? Do you have any idea what could happen to us if we fail?"

"The lives of two people, no matter who they are, cannot possibly outweigh the loss of their ability to fight the First Order," she shouted back, starting to get fed up with his attitude.

"You sound just like her," he hissed. "The lives of two people," he mocked. "As if it wasn't her own damned son--!" He choked on the last word, as if he hadn't meant to say it.

Rey froze, realizing her hand had come to rest on her own lightsaber. Instead, she reached out through their bond.

<Kylo, stop this,> she said softly. <I'm not your enemy.> She could feel a wash of anger and pain through the connection, like a sandstorm raging inside him. But at the touch of her mind, it seemed to still.

Still breathing heavily, Kylo extinquished his lightsaber and collapsed into a seat once more. Scooting around the circular bench, Rey carefully reached out to touch him. He flinched when her hand came to rest on his shoulder, but he turned towards her and wrapped one arm around her waist tightly.

"It's not enough," he whispered hoarsely. "I won't risk losing you on those odds."

Rey gave him a small smile. "I thought you didn't care about the odds. We can make this work."

Pulling back, he gave her an incredulous look. "Listen, sweetheart, even if you were fully trained we couldn't take him on without a _real threat_ engaging his resources. That kind of attack would barely even be a moment's distraction."

She blinked. "Sweetheart?" she asked incredulously.

He froze, and then closed his eyes, and she felt a wave of grief pass over them. "This place is affecting me," he ground out, and with the wave of his hand, the Millenium Falcon faded away into the rich appointments of the stolen lamda-class shuttle.

Rey was sad to see it go, but said nothing. After a moment of silence, a thought occurred to her. "Your grandmother, Padme, was never afraid to go into enemy territory when it was neccessary, and she wasn't even a Jedi," she argued. Not that, from the sound of her stories, Anakin had been particularly happy about it, but that was another thing altogether.

Kylo frowned, perplexed. "How do you know anything about my grandmother?" he asked. "How do you even know her name?"

She stared back at him, equally bemused. "The dreams, of course."

He sat up. "What dreams? We've never discussed her before."

"Not here, but after. The first one, you showed me the secret passageway in the Senate building on Coruscant, through the ventilation shafts, to where you could watch your mother in the New Republic Senate."

Now he turned to face her fully, his frown tugging at the scar across his forehead. "I know the passageway you speak of, but when did I ever show it to you?"

"You don't remember," she realized out loud. "We'd go to your grandmother, and she'd tell us stories, but you were just a child." Waving her hand, she changed their surroundings to the elegantly appointed office.

Kylo stood, now clearly alarmed. "I know this place," he whispered. "But I swear I've never been here..." suddenly he winced, and clutched one hand to his head.

Rey stood as well. "What's wrong?" she went to him, afraid to touch him.

"It hurts," he hissed through clenched teeth. "There's something there," he groaned, collapsing on one of the couches.

Kneeling beside him, Rey pulled his hands away from his head. "Let me look," she said, and put two fingers on the spot he had held, just above his left eye.

Instantly, she found herself in the weightless void of Kylo's mind. Dark colors swirled around her, and pain pierced through her. She fought it, though, and found that there was a blast door before her. There was an access panel, but when she hit the button it flashed red. Locked.

<What's the access code?> she asked Kylo.

<The code to what? I don't know what you're talking about> he replied, from all around her.

Rey took a deep breath, and then prized the access panel open. But there were no wires behind it, it was only a metaphor after all. Standing back, Rey found her lightsaber in her hand, and knew what she had to do.

<This might hurt> she warned.

<Do it. I didn't put that there,> he said, sounding panicked.

Igniting one violet blade, Rey drove it slowly into the duristeel of the blast doors. The pain around her intensified, turning everything a lurid red.

<Keep going!> he shouted.

Taking a tight grip, glad for the extra length of her hilt, Rey began to cut a circle through the metal. It was slow going, and every moment seemed to last an eternity. As the circle came to a close, Rey could hear screaming, but she wasn't sure if it was her or Kylo. With the last of her effort, she used the Force to shove the molten circle into the space beyond.

For a moment, there was nothing, and then a rush of black smoke came shooting out of the hole. With it came an unimaginable tangle of sounds and images. Memories, most of them excruciatingly painful.

Rey raised her hands against the onslaught, but it was too much. She found herself kicked out of his mind, kneeling once more in Padme's office. Next to her, Kylo writhed on the couch, eyes wide and unseeing as he screamed in pain. His back arched, and he tore at his hair.

"Oh, no," Rey breathed. What had she done?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! I don't think anyone really wants to hear the very long list of crappy IRL things that have beset me for the last 7 months, but suffice it to say, I haven't really been writing _anything_ in that time. Even NaNoWriMo was a bust thanks to the election drama. 
> 
> But thanks to the new Ep VIII trailer, May the Fourth, and some really intriguing YouTube theory videos, I am once again inspired to write this story. It occurs to me that I only have another 7 months to finish it, before the next episode comes out and the canon ruins everything lol. But it will be fun while it lasts. 
> 
> If you're unhappy with the cliffhanger, you can blame [ t0bemadeofglass](https://archiveofourown.org/users/t0bemadeofglass) who advised me to split the chapter here so I can slow down and focus on the Really Important Things that happen in the next chapter (she is absolutely the best internet bff and writing buddy I could ask for). So, not to worry, I've already written it, I just need to tweak it a bit before posting. I imagine it should be ready within a week. 
> 
> So a huge thank you to anyone who stuck around for this long and is actually still reading this. You make me feel like I'm not such a crappy writer after all.


	23. Remember

Trying to pull Kylo's hands away from his face, Rey struggled to calm him. Had her intrusion into his mind injured him? It seemed like the right thing at the time, but had she broken him?

A hand touched Kylo's forehead, and he stilled instantly, falling unconscious. Looking up, Rey saw Padme perched on the arm of the couch.

"What have I done to him?" Rey asked, panicked.

"You healed him," Padme reassured her calmly. Her hair was loose, cascading in waves down her back, studded with small white flowers. She wore a flowing gown made of a crushed velvet that looked like running water, which was belted just under the bust. "Sometimes healing is painful. You found the part of his mind that Snoke had locked away. In it are memories of how he was turned to the Dark, and those are what he suffers through now. But also locked in there were his hope, his will to find the Light, and me."

Kylo stirred, opening his eyes. "You," he whispered, blinking up at his grandmother. "I remember the stories now," he murmured, sitting up slowly. One hand went to his forehead, as if checking for blood.  "And so much more..."

Padme smiled. "I am so glad to finally see all of you, Ben."

He looked up sharply, but didn't protest the use of his true name. Rey moved to sit next to him, but hesitated to touch him.

Her smile turned bittersweet. "But I am afraid this is the last time we shall meet. My purpose here is nearly at its end. Before I leave, I will give you something that I think you want very much, although it may not be what you expect." Rising from the couch, she walked to the door which led deeper into her quarters.

Rey remembered that this was the door the Senator had first came through, when she rescued them from the approaching Snoke. She couldn't remember Padme passing through it or any other since. She always appeared from nowhere, or was there to begin with in the strange way of dreams.

Padme laid a hand on the access panel and the door slid open, but beyond its frame there was nothing. Instead of a room, it seemed to open to the empty void of open space. Taking a deep breath, she reached out, sinking her arms into the darkness past the elbows. For a long moment she seemed to be searching for something, her eyes shut tight in concentration. Then she gave a sharp gasp, leaned back, and _pulled_. From within the darkness emerged a vaguely humanoid figure made of blue light. As it resolved into a clearer form, it wrapped itself around Padme, clutching her tightly.

Rey shifted, worried. It almost looked as if it was attacking Padme, but the Senator remained calm, so Rey stayed put.

At last the blue light solidified into the shape of a human man, his face buried in her hair. Gradually the blue faded, revealing dark robes and loose sandy curls.

"I am _so sorry_ ," the man said in a choked, muffled voice.

"I know. I forgive you." Padme's voice shook as well, but she pulled away first. "There's someone here who needs you."

The man straightened, revealing a handsome, scarred face. His eyes were the same piercing blue as Luke's and there was something in the stubborn set of his jaw that reminded Rey of both Kylo and Leia. At his hip hung a very familiar lightsaber.

Beside her, Kylo stood rapidly. "It can't be..." he murmured. "You're... Darth Vader."

"No!" the man shouted, his face contorted with anger and pain. "That name is not mine any more than Kylo Ren is yours! It was forced upon me when I thought I had no choice but to take it." He leaned his forehead against Padme's a moment, as if calming himself.

Kylo shook his head, confused.

Anakin Skywalker turned from Padme to face him fully. "Your name is Ben Solo. My daughter named you well: you carry the names of two great men. One was my brother," his voice cracked on the word, "and one was quite possibly the bravest idiot who ever tried to kill me."

Kylo - Ben - was at a loss for words. "I... I tried to ask you for guidance," he started.

"And I tried to pull you back, as much as I could. It's true that the Jedi had become delusioned in my time, but killing them was not the answer then, and it isn't the answer now. You must let my son find the right path on his own. He is nearly there," Anakin explained.

Rey frowned. What was he talking about, Luke was almost there?

Taking a few steps forward, Anakin put his hands on his grandson's shoulders. It struck Rey that they looked almost the same age. If anything, Anakin looked younger, the scars on his face less severe than Kylo's. But Kylo's eyes were wide, his mouth half-open in shock, his amazement giving him a look of youthful wonder.

"The Dark Side offers great power, Ben, but the price is often too high," Anakin murmured.

"But the light is so weak," Kylo argued.

A pained smile crossed Anakin's face. "It can seem that way, especially when you are afraid. But when you turn to the Dark out of fear, you let it control you. The Force is... complicated," he made a helpless gesture, looking to Padme for support. 

She gave a sad smile. "Like most of life," she agreed. "But I think it is most telling that you speak of _Light_ and _Dark_ , not good and evil. The Light is order, serenity, the birth of new things. But order can stifle, serenity in the face of injustice is unfeeling and callous, and not all things which are born into this world are good. In turn, the Dark is chaos, rage, death. But chaos is part of nature, rage can be for a good cause, and without death, life has no meaning."

Anakin nodded, frowning slightly.  "When Master Qui-gon brought me before the Jedi council, they spoke of a prophecy. They thought I was the chosen one, come to bring balance to the Force. And perhaps I was." He shrugged, as if it was beyond him to say. "They thought this meant I would destroy the Sith, which in the end, I did. But I think maybe when I destroyed the Jedi I was fulfilling the prophecy too. _Balance_ , Ben."

Kylo frowned, perplexed. "I don't understand. You said killing them was wrong...."

"All I wanted was to protect my wife." He gestured back to Padme, and real, visceral pain flashed over his face. Here was a man who had been broken by his decisions, who had seen all that was good in the world and obliterated it. "When the Light couldn't give me enough power to do that, I thought it meant I had to choose the Dark. That I must fully commit myself to rage and chaos or I wouldn't be strong enough to save her. But I ended up losing her anyway, I ended up being the very cause of that loss. The Dark alone wasn't enough either. You see, I have come to believe that to be whole, one must find the path _between_ the Light and the Dark. I have seen there is one who walks it already."

At that, Kylo finally looked away from his grandfather, his head turning unerringly toward Rey. Anakin followed his line of sight, noticing her for the first time.

"This is Rey," Padme explained. "She helped me bring Ben to this place."

"You..." Anakin murmured. "Yes, it is you. But... I know your face..." He turned away from Kylo.

Rey stood up, completely speechless.

"It was so long ago, and she was much younger than you, but she was the spitting image..." Realization dawned on his face, quickly followed by regret. "She must have been your mother. I am sorry."

"You knew my mother? I don't know anything about my parents. Please, tell me," Rey begged.

Anakin shook his head. "The encounter was brief. I... I killed your grandmother. She was a padawan before the Empire. Your mother was only a child."

Rey blinked. Her grandmother had been a Jedi apprentice, and Darth Vader had hunted her down. "What happened to my mother? Please tell me."

Anakin glanced back at Padme, who shifted restlessly. Turning back, he sighed. "My time here grows short. It's not much of a thank you for bringing Ben here, but it's all I have." Reaching up, he pressed a finger to a point in the center of her forehead.

There was a brief flash of light, and Rey felt somehow altered, although she couldn't say how. Anakin smiled briefly, apologetically, and then turned to Kylo, embracing him tightly for a moment. When Kylo didn't seem to know how to reciprocate, Anakin pulled away and clapped him on the back sympathetically before returning to Padme's side.

"Remember, Ben," he said as he turned back to face them. "Power is only valuable as long as you can use it to protect those you love. The Dark Side offers only destruction. The Light demands a release of all attachments. Find the path between, find the balance. Only then will your power have meaning."

In response, Kylo bowed his head deeply, and Rey could tell he had taken the words to heart.

"Thank you, Rey," Padme said. Her voice echoed oddly, and she and Anakin had begun to glow faintly around the edges. "Remember my stories."

"I will," she promised. The glow intensified until it became uncomfortable to look at.

"May the Force be with you both," Anakin told them, and then turned to Padme, drawing her into his arms. In a flash of blinding light, they disappeared.

Gone, too, was the Senate office, and they were once again on Hux's stolen ship. Kylo looked around them, appearing completely lost. He sat on the nearest couch, hard, and put his head in his hands.

Rey sat next to him and put her hand on his back. "Are you okay, Kylo?"

"Don't call me that," he gasped. His voice was rough with emotion.

She bit her lip. "Ben?" she whispered.

Rey felt something crumble between them, some barrier that had been there all along without either of them knowing it. Ben Solo turned to her, tears streaming down his face, and took her into his arms. She kissed him, softly, tasting the salt on his lips. He drew her down to the couch, and for a moment she thought they would make love, but he only held her close and cried.

Somehow, that seemed much more intimate.

After a nameless amount of time had passed, Rey ran her hands through Ben's hair and asked, "What do we do now?"

He took a deep, shaky breath. "We can't fight him, Rey. I can't fight him. I'm not strong enough, and he's much more powerful than I realized."

"Okay," Rey said gently. "But you can't stay, Ben. The first time he looks into your mind, he's going to know everything."

Closing his eyes, he nodded. When he opened them again, his expression was the most vulnerable she had ever seen it. "Please help me get out," he whispered.

"I'll do everything I can. Get ready."

 

* * *

 

When she ducked into Luke's hut, Rey was surprised to find that he was already on the comm with Leia.

"We both... felt something," Luke explained. "A presence I have not felt in many years. What has happened?"

"I'll explain everything," Rey promised, "But we have to hurry."

"We're not nearly ready for the coup," Leia argued.

"We're spacing the coup," Rey said quickly. "We need a straight-up extraction. ASAP."

"For your informant?" Leia guessed, sounding wary.

"For Ben Solo."

There was a pause, and then Leia shouted something off-comm. When she returned, there was an excitement in her voice that communicated itself clearly even over subspace. "Tell me everything you need," she  gushed, "And I'll make it happen."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay folks, I gotta admit that I'm super nervous about whether you like this chapter. This is one of two big events the whole story has been leading up to, and I hope I did it justice. A HUGE thank you to [t0bemadeofglass](http://archiveofourown.org/users/t0bemadeofglass/pseuds/t0bemadeofglass) who was extremely helpful in getting this chapter to have the kind of emotional impact I wanted.
> 
> I am going to *try* to update this story once a week, to make up for how long I was gone. Bear in mind that means that after this story splits in to (which it will do within the next couple chapters) that will mean I will be writing two chapters a week, as I intend to update both alternate endings simultaneously. 
> 
> Let me know what you think! As always, your comments are my greatest motivation.


	24. Heritage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gendered pronouns suck, and I apologize in advance for the first scene. I really couldn't think of a better way to do it.

Rey was up another three standard hours working out a plan with Leia. Much of the information they needed was missing, and she drew up a list of questions to ask Ben, using the new memorization technique to commit it to memory. Even after all that, Chewie was a good six hours out. Luke encouraged her to get some sleep - real sleep, not the dream trance - so she would be rested when he arrived.

Exhausted, she dragged herself back to her hut and collapsed on her pallet. In the last moment of consciousness, she wondered if she would dream of Ben as a child, and then remembered that Padme was gone. Still, she felt a familiar pull and gave into it, to tired to fight.

 

She strode through the corridors of a ship, it looked like it might be a freighter, grimy unpolished duristeel cladding the deck and bulkheads. Her footsteps rang loud, but she felt oddly disconnected from them, as if she couldn't quite feel her feet. Her vision was tinted red, and her breath rang loud in her ears, heavy and unnaturally rhythmic.

There were bodies in the hallways, plain-clothed spacefarers and white clad stormtroopers united in death. She ignored them all, and made her way towards the aft of the ship. At last she came to a bulkhead where two troopers stood ready and a special ops man was tinkering with the access panel. At her arrival, they all turned and snapped to attention.

"I've accessed the panel, but it's not working, milord. They may have welded it shut from the inside," the ops man explained.

Rey had half a second to wonder at the address milord - she must be a man, Rey realized, as if it were completely obvious - before the body she inhabited responded of its own volition. "Stand back." Although she knew the words came from the body she was in, the voice was deep and oddly moderated, almost robotic. Detatching a lightsaber from his hip, he ignited it. Even through the tint of his vision, he could see it was red, and felt the Dark Side thrumming through it.

He drove the lightsaber through the bulkhead, and Rey was strongly reminded of how she had unlocked Ben's mind. But at the same time he knew that whatever was behind this door didn't want to be let out. She realized, with a moment of clarity, that he had come to bring them death, as he had for many, many others.

The bulkhead wasn't blast-shielded, and it took only a few moments' work to breach. He gave an almost effortless push of the Force, and the cut-out door flew back into the compartment. It was a storage hold, full of crates and equipment. Beside him, the stormtroopers raised their blasters, and she felt him scowl, felt the pain and odd tugging on his face it caused. _Clones would have already run in,_ he thought with disdain.

"Wait here," he ordered, and stepped through the breach. Inside it was quiet, but through the Force he could feel the presence of another.  They were terrified. Good.

Before he could pinpoint their location, a figure stepped out between the crates to face him. A human woman, middle aged by her greying hair, she ignited her own lightsaber. It was yellow, and the hilt was simple, a padawan's blade. A distant pain hovered on the edge of his mind, but he pushed it away.

"You cannot hope to defeat me," he said.

The woman shrugged, rolling her shoulder to warm it up. "You will kill me either way," she argued.

He was surprised. His prey hid the terror he could feel well.

The fight was short. It was clear the woman had not fought with a Jedi's weapon in a long time, but she brought a ferocious intensity that that held no hint of the Dark Side, and that surprised him too. But even that was not enough to save her. Many had fallen before him, and they had been far better skilled than she.

Before long, she made a mistake, and it cost her. The end of her hilt was neatly sliced off just below the yllow blade, and then the red plunged into her chest. The body dropped to the deck, lifeless. Rey felt no thrill of victory, only a weariness. How many more? he wondered.

A scream rang out in the hold. "Mama, no!" A small child darted out from the crates and latched onto the body, crying hysterically. This, then, was the true source of the terror he had felt, now made manifest.

This time, the pain could not be stopped. _Another woman, her face bloodied and bruised, her lips chapped and bleeding. "Anakin, I lo-- I lo...." The rage at her loss. The dark, frenzied joy of killing her captors._

Turning his back on the scene before him and the memorkes it evoked, Darth Vader strode through the bulkhead once more. "Inform the High Inquisitor of a potential that needs testing," he ordered, and left.

Rey found that she did not go with the ominous figure, but instead stayed in the hold with the girl and her mother's body.

"Mama, wake up," she sobbed. "Come back!"

It was then that Rey saw the resemblance: the chestnut wavy hair, the tear-filled hazel eyes. She looked very much like the vision she had seen of her own childhood self abandoned on Jakku. And yet, it was not her, she was sure of it. There were subtle differences, her face was too square, her brows too close together.

She stayed until the stormtroopers came in and pried the little girl from her mother's body, dragging her away by the arms. The screaming was too much for her to bear.

* * *

 

"Rey. Rey!"

She felt a shock, perhaps a slap across the face, but it was a distant, phantom pain. Still, she opened her eyes, expecting to find Luke, waking her from the nightmare. It wouldn't surprise her if she'd been crying out in her sleep.

But instead the figure that resolved in front of her was that of Kylo. _No, Ben,_ she reminded herself, just in time. "Ben?" she asked, confused and groggy.

He let out a relieved breath and hugged her, squeezing tightly. "Thank the Force, are you alright? I felt... something, through the bond. Fear, and pain. The Dark Side. I thought something horrible had happened."

Rey ran a hand over his back, soothing him and herself in turn, trying to digest what she had just seen. "Anakin left me a memory of my mother and grandmother," she explained, "and I just relived it. From his perspective."

Ben pulled back, studying her expression. "Whose pain was it that I felt then?"

"The little girl - my mother," she explained. I sort of stayed with her, at the end of the memory. She'd just lost her mother and I think... I guess I just related to her pain a little too much."

He sighed. "Some gift, he wasn't kidding."

She shook her head. "It's still worth a lot to me, Ben. Now I know a little of where I came from."

His expression turned dark, and he turned away from her a little. "Just remember that sometimes, knowing where you come from can be a burden."

Unable to think of a response, Rey studied her surroundings. She was in the little med bay alcove of the Milennium Falcon. Everything looked the same as she remembered it, except for Ben. His clothes were different, although they were still all black, he wore tactical gear: cargo pants, a long sleeved shirt that fit him like a glove and covered his neck, a black tactical vest. The only thing unchanged was the lightsaber that hung now from a utility belt.

Reaching out, she touched it lightly. She remembered something from Luke's lectures on the Jedi Weapon. _When a Jedi creates his own lightsaber, it is not just a tool. It is an extension of themselves, of their connection with the Force._ There was still darkness in Ben's soul, she knew, and he likely would never be free of it. However, if they were to find Anakin's path between the dark and the light, that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. But right at that moment, looking at the pain on his face, she wished she could burn away all of his darkness with her light.

"I'm coming to get you," she told him.

"I know." He took her hand and held it between both of his. "I'm just not sure if I'm ready."

She frowned. "What do you mean?"

He seemed to struggle for words for a moment, and then just opened his mind to her. It was a tumult, dominated by fear of failure, fear of Rey risking her life for him, and fear of what the future held even if they succeeded. He'd have to go back to being Ben Solo, would have to face his mother and everyone else after killing Han. He was never enough before he turned to the Dark, now he would be even less.

In response, she opened to him, not her mind, but her heart. <I love you,> she told him, with more conviction than she had ever thought possible. <I will love you no matter what. It may not be enough, but...>

Ben put a finger to her lips, as if she had spoken aloud. "It's enough," he said, his voice breaking.

Reaching up, Rey slid her fingers through his dark curls, and then pulled his head down to kiss him. He groaned softly, and with gentle encouragement moved to brace himself above her. He wanted her, she could feel it, but he was afraid. Afraid of himself, of the things he had done to her and how he had enjoyed them. Afraid that he would do them again.

She smiled a little and kissed a trail to his ear. "I enjoyed some of those things, too, you know," she whispered.

He shuddered in her arms.

She went slowly, taking the time to remove his clothes instead of just willing them gone. She unbuckled his vest, helped him pull the tight shirt over his head. She studied the map of his pain, written in scars on his skin, as he sat back to undo her belt. Somehow, the familiar normality of undressing put him at ease, and he became braver, letting his hands wander over her body.

The touch of his skin against hers was little better than a memory, and she longed to be with him in the waking world, to be reassured by the physical reality of him. She felt an echo of her yearning through the bond, and felt a little of his apprehension burn away. Perhaps some risk was worthwhile, if they could at last be together again.

When at last he dove into her, it was with possessive abandon. There was little room for her to move, and she was oddly reminded of the first time. But now she surrendered to him willingly, offering up the comfort of her body. Soon, that wasn't enough for him. He wanted her pleasure, too. Reaching between them, he found her center and stroked it gently, in stark contrast to the ferocity of his thrusts.

Gasping, Rey pressed her head back against the padded foam of the alcove. "Oh, yes, please..." she moaned, digging her fingers into his shoulders. "Please, Ben..."

With a surprised shout, Ben spilled into her, and the echo of his pleasure through their bond sent her over the edge as well. She clung to him tightly, riding out the waves of ecstasy.

When it had passed, Ben eased himself down carefully next to her, and turned her so she was cradled by his body. Rey felt warm and comfortable and loved, and stifled a yawn.

"I should let you sleep," he murmured against her hair.

"Mm, I have to ask you questions," she said sleepily. Pulling down the medbay diagnosis screen, she tapped it and changed the display to the image she had memorized of the specific intel they needed to pull off the extraction.

Ben made an impressed sound and reached over her shoulder to tap the screen a few times as well, until it displayed the answer below each question. She studied the altered image, committing it to memory.

"Got it?" he asked, sounding tired himself.

"Yeah," she said around another yawn.

"Then go to sleep," he said, and in his bossy tone she heard Leia clearly.

Smiling to herself, she did just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never should have said that I would try to update this weekly. The decision was based on the fact that I had a ton of free time on my hands, and that immediately changed - in good ways, mind you. I finally got a job in the publishing industry, which is my dream! I'm finally publishing my book with the company I work for! We're moving to a really nice house!
> 
> Still, I feel bad for letting you guys down. Hopefully this moment of fluff between Ben and Rey will make up for it... enjoy it while you can.
> 
> Thank you guys for being so patient, and always I cherish every single one of your comments, they are 100% what keep me going on this story, even when I'm super busy.


	25. Farewell

When Luke shook her awake, Rey felt as if she hadn't gotten any sleep at all. It was possible she hadn't really, she had no way of knowing how long Anakin's memory and the trance had lasted in waking hours. She groaned, and covered her face with her hands.

"I'm sorry, Rey," Luke said gently. "I let you sleep as long as I could. The Falcon is here."

It was the twinge of sorrow in his voice that made her come fully awake. She sat up, and he handed her a bundle - he'd packed all of her things for her. Rey's heart sank with a sense of foreboding.

_If I fail... this will be goodbye forever,_ she realized. Swallowing a lump in her throat, she saw in his eyes that he knew it too. It was too soon, she wasn't ready, and she felt as if she were about to lose the only family she had ever found. And yet...

_Ben needs me,_ she reminded herself. _And he's something more than family._

Steeling herself, she rose from her pallet, donned her poncho, and followed Luke out into the rain. They made the arduous trek down to the landing pad without speaking - what was there to say? The rocks were slippery with the rain and it took all of her concentration not to go careening off the edge into the waves pounding against the cliff below them anyway. At last they came to the Millenium Falcon, the boarding ramp down but the engines still running so they could leave as soon as possible. Chewie waved enthusiastically to her from the cockpit.

Waving back, Rey turned to face her Master. "Thank you," she said, wishing she had something better to say, "for everything."

Luke smiled sadly, and nodded. "May the Force be with you, Rey."

Rey willed her feet to move her toward the ship. Instead, she closed the distance between her and the Jedi and pulled him into a tight hug. Luke chuckled and returned the embrace warmly.

"The price of emotional attachment is loss," he warned, quoting the old texts.

"Worth it," she said into his grey robe. She let him go, heart full, and then turned to run toward the ship. She paused at the foot of the ramp, looking out at the wonder of Ach-to. Putting her hand out from the overhang of the ship, she felt the rain against her skin. She closed her eyes, locking away the feel of it in her most cherished memories. Here she stood beneath the rain, felt the power of the ocean as it swelled at her feet and then rushed away. Now, this place was a part of her, as much as Master Luke's teachings.

Rey boarded the ship, and felt the engines pull her away before the ramp had even finished closing. Only at that moment did she realize that she had come to think of the watery planet as home.

 

* * *

 

As Rey, Chewie, and C-3P0 disembarked on D'Qar, ground crews immediately ran forward to refuel the Falcon. All around them, the base was abuzz with activity, like a nest of Kryllik Wasps that had been disturbed. People and transport vehicles rushed from one end of the base to the other, prepping ships and loading them with supplies.

Rey had taken the opportunity to send Leia the necessary intel, and it was clear that the General had made good use of the three days it took for them to travel the hyperspace lanes between planets. Fortunately, she'd also had a chance to catch up on sleep, so she felt rested and ready for action. She hadn't been able to contact Ben again, he was too busy holding up the illusion that he was still Kylo Ren, devoting himself to First Order business. It worried her, but she knew it was necessary.

Finn came jogging up to them, his movement still a bit stiff but obviously he was glad to be free of the back brace. He hugged her tightly but briefly, he was infected with the same nervous energy that pervaded the Resistance base.

"Welcome back, Rey. Now that you're here, the General will want to hold a briefing," he explained even as he began to lead them back into the base. "I'll be with you, gunning on the Falcon, since I've had some experience with it," he said quickly.

"Wait... who's gunning for Poe then?" She frowned.

Finn looked away, rubbing the back of his neck. "He's... he's opted out of this mission," he admitted quietly.

"What?!" Rey demanded. "Why?" She tried not to, but couldn't help but feel a little betrayed. Luke's parting advice had come back to bite her sooner than expected, it seemed.

Stopping in his tracks, Finn sighed. "He doesn't think it's worth it. He was willing to go along with the plan when it was a coup, but an extraction... all this, just for him..." he waved a hand in an open gesture that encompassed the ordered chaos of the Resistance base.

Suddenly it clicked for Rey. Poe didn't want to rescue Ben, or more accurately, Kylo Ren - the man who had violated his mind. It was understandable, from a certain point of view, but still. Still!

Rey turned and strode towards the barracks. After a moment, Finn trailed after her.

"The brief--" he huffed.

"The brief can wait," she bit out. Her steps rang beneath her, and she felt an echo of something from Anakin's memory. Taking a deep breath, she pushed the creeping Darkness away. It had it's uses, but this was not the time. She didn't bother with the door chime, simply banged her fist on the duristeel door.

Poe answered quickly - he would have known she had arrived when the base kicked into gear all around him. He said nothing, just glanced at Finn and then stared at her, waiting.

"I understand why this is painful for you," she began, trying to sound sympathetic.

"You understand?" he repeated, his voice deadly quiet.

She held his gaze a long moment. He cursed, looking away first. "I suppose you do. But you don't understand my decision."

"No," she replied.

He rubbed his face with both hands, and stared off into the distance over her shoulder for a moment. "Every time I take off, I risk my life, Rey. For the Rebellion, for the General, it's worth it. But I can't do it for him, even if he is the General's son. What if it's all a trap, and he betrays you?"

"I'm not asking you to do it for him," Rey explained. "I'm asking for me. Maybe it's selfish, but I need you Poe. I need someone to watch my back. And if he does betray me, I need you there to help me get out." Even saying the words felt like a betrayal in itself, but she had to make her case in a way Poe could understand.

Poe sighed heavily. He looked to Finn, as if for help, but Finn just crossed his arms. He and Rey had been each other's first friends, and his loyalty ran deep.

Turning, he rested his forehead against the doorway. "How can you ask me to do this, after what he did to me, Rey? After what he did to both of us."

Rey took a deep, steadying breath, drawing on the Force for wisdom. "Did you ever wonder how he got to be so good at it?" she asked.

The pilot glanced up, clearly not sure he wanted an answer.

"What he did to us, Poe, he's had done to him. Hundreds of times, maybe thousands. Snoke goes digging in his brain _on a regular basis_. And when he found things he didn't like - kindness, mercy, _hope_ \- he locked them away behind a wall Ben didn't even know was there," she told him, tears burning at the corners of her eyes as she remembered.

Poe's eyes widened, and he shook his head. "I... I can't, Rey. I can't." Slamming the access panel, he turned away as the door slid shut.

Rey stood before the door inches in front of her face a moment, and then sighed, leaning her forehead against it.

Finn put his hand on her shoulder. "You tried," he said softly.

"Thanks," she turned away from the door, scrubbing at her eyes.

Her friend stood there a moment, thinking. "What you said, about what the Supreme Leader was doing to him... is that really true?"

She nodded. "I found the wall, and I breached it for him. It's like he's a different person. He's scared, Finn. I have to help him."

He raised his eyebrows. "Hard to imagine, him being scared. But I believe you. Let's go get him, Rey," he turned, beckoning her back towards the building where the General awaited them.

Smiling a little at her friend's easy enthusiasm, she followed.

 

* * *

 

Rey sat in the front row of a ring of tiered seats which surrounded a tactical display. General Leia Organa stood before her troops, in her element, outlining the plan she and her advisors had devised. For the most part, it consisted of presenting a series of feinting attacks geared towards sowing confusion and chaos among the First Order's forces.

One of Leia's aides had just started breaking down the individual assignments, when there was a stir at the back of the room. Rey saw the General turn to look and then quickly surpress a satisfied smile. Twisting in her own seat, Rey tried to see what the fuss was about.

"Black Leader, reporting for duty," Poe said confidently as he strode down the steps, fully kitted out in his flight suit. "Sorry I'm late."

Leia didn't look the least bit surprised, but she asked anyway. "Why the change of heart?"

Poe glanced at Rey and Finn, and visibly swallowed his pride. "I need to be there for my friends," he said, and then looked back to the General, straightening his back, "and because it's the right thing to do."

There was a round of cheers. Beside her, Finn stood from his seat and without a moment's hesitation threw himself at Poe, kissing him hard on the mouth, right in front of everyone. The cheers turned to hoots and whistles, and when Finn pulled away, Poe looked well and truly floored.

"I knew you'd come to your senses," Finn gushed.

"Well, if I'd known that was going to be your response, I would have done it a lot sooner!" he laughed.

There were chuckles all around as Leia called the meeting back into order. Poe took a seat between Rey and Finn, draping an arm over either of them, a grin plastered on his face. There was a moment of confusion as the aides worked to rearrange the plans to include Black Leader, but they quickly had their choice of volunteers to man the guns of the fabled Millenium Falcon. 

Before long everyone had their assignments, and they were scrambling to the ships. The three of them paused before Poe's A-wing, and Rey hugged them both quickly.

"Thank you," she told Poe.

He shrugged it off, but she could tell it meant something to him. They turned to go, and she felt an odd twinge watching them.

"May the Force be with you!" she called out.

Finn turned and gave her a crisp stormtrooper salute, while Poe cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted back over the noise of the ship powering up, "You too, Master Jedi!"

Rey laughed at the obvious tease, the foreboding feeling easing. She was just worried about them, that was all. Running for the Falcon, she made a breathless introduction to the two gunners who had been chosen to go with, Ensign Vallory Wu and Lieutenant Reese Cobb. Then they were each rushing to their stations, prepping to leave atmo and the jump to lightspeed.

Buckling into the co-pilot chair next to Chewbacca, she shot him a confident grin and he threw back his head and bellowed a Wookie call to battle.

<We're coming for you, Ben> she thought, unsure if he could even hear her. <Just hang on.>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the feels! And yes, I borrowed some imagery from the Episode VIII trailer.
> 
> Okay folks, the next chapter might take me a bit longer because it's The Big One. That's right, we've almost reached the fork in the road, and you guys will get two stories for the price of one! I'm pretty excited, I feel like it's a chance to kind of experiment with the medium, this is definitely not something you could do with traditional published fiction. I hope you guys like it too! 
> 
> As always, thank you for your lovely comments, they really brighten up my day!


	26. Choices

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not dead! Stay tuned for exciting news after the chapter!

When they came out of hyperspace, the battle was already underway. Leia's plan had called for chaos - better to confuse the First Order than try to face them head on - and that was what she got. All around them, Resistance ships attacked the _Finalizer_ from every vector imaginable.

Rey felt a momentary sense of disorientation - even though she knew there was really no up or down in space, and the simulations she'd practiced in had taken that into account, it was her first real space battle. Her brain struggled to keep up with what her eyes saw, the traces of lasers shooting from every direction, ships and the debris of exploded ships whirling around them.

Chewie roared at her to get her head out of the clouds, and she shook herself. Rather than try to comprehend the mess around her, Rey focused on the Force and what was right in front of her. The Millenium Falcon wove and twisted its way through the X-Wings and TIE Interceptors that swarmed around the _Finalizer_ and the handful of Resistance capital ships like a swarm of metallic insects.

It occurred to her to look out for Poe's A-wing, but she didn't have the time, she was too busy trying to evade the unit of TIEs that had attached themselves to the Falcon's tail. Vallory and Reese did their best to pick them off, but the highly maneuverable crafts had no trouble evading shots from in front of them.

Suddenly the ships chasing them began to explode, one after the other in quick succession.

"What the..." Reese said over the comm.

"Wasn't me!" Vallory shouted back.

When the last one blew up, the Falcon was hailed and at first, the message was only the sound of two cheers of victory. Rey's scanners picked up what had been behind the TIEs - a single A-wing. "Poe! Finn!" she shouted. "You really saved our butts!"

"Damn right," Poe yelled back.

"We've got Black Squadron on you, Falcon. We'll keep the way clear for you!" Finn explained.

"You guys are the best!" Rey shouted back. As the _Finalizer loo_ med up before them, she scanned the hull for an airlock attachment. They'd never make it into a hangar, but by attaching at one of the emergency hatches, they could stand a better chance, although it did leave the Falcon somewhat vulnerable if they were spotted. Both Leia and Chewie had reassured her that this tactic had worked several times in the past, though, so she trusted them.

"There!" Rey pointed out the viewscreen, at a small circle on the underside of the Resurgence-class star destroyer.

Chewie maneuvered the Falcon into position, and Rey unbuckled her crash webbing. "If I can't make it back here, don't stick around," she told Chewie. "I'll find another way off the ship."

The wookie barked back a negative. He would stay there, he told her, until she got back.

Rey balked. "But it's too dangerous," she protested. "You could get killed."

There was a moment of silence aboard the ship, broken only by the sound of the Falcon's docking mechanism engaging the escape port.

It was Reese's voice over the comm that broke it. "Honey, did nobody tell you this is a suicide mission?"

Rey felt the blood drain from her face. "What? No..."

Vallory chimed in. "The General was clear. Volunteer only, and she wouldn't accept any family types."

She glanced at Chewie. She knew he had a son, fully grown, but still. He seemed to sense what she was thinking and growled that the family that needed him was _here_. A wash of guilt rolled off of the wookie, and it clicked for Rey.

 _Ben. Of course._ Rey nodded her understanding and dashed for the central ladder. She didn't bother with the rungs, merely dropped down the shaft and used the Force to soften her landing. She slammed the control to open the airlock and was met with the sealed port of the Finalizer. She didn't even bother with the access panel, she knew she'd never hack it in time.

Instead, she unsheathed her lightsaber and drove it into the duristeel. She'd done this in Ben's mind, and in Anakin's memory, but somehow neither instance had prepared her for the heat that rose up from the melting metal. It scalded the inside of her nose, and she struggled to breathe carefully through her mouth. She was drenched with sweat before she'd gotten halfway around the circle.

There wasn't much room to stand beside the hatch, so Rey took a risk and stepped onto the circle she was cutting out just as the circle was complete. She pushed down with the Force and dropped with the thick metal disk.

She had forgotten for a moment that she was coming up from the bottom of the Finalizer. No longer under the influence of the Falcon's gravimetric drive, Rey was suddenly falling upward through the hatch.

Fortunately, the other end of the escape hatch was open, allowing her to pass all the way through. She used another push of the Force to get out from under the huge disk of metal before it crashed to the deck.

Before she even stood, Rey ignited the other end of her lightsaber and came up swinging, twirling the blades in a complex pattern that would open up some space around her. That move completed, she realized there was no one else in the corridor.

Feeling a bit sheepish, she extinguished the lightsaber and reached out with the Force, but the whole section of the ship seemed deserted.

<Rey?> came the tentative call.

<Ben! I'm on board, but there's no one here, what's going on?>

<When the hull breach was reported I recognized the Falcon on the scanners. I managed to scramble the data and then locked the other end of the access hatch open. Since a hull breach was imminent, the deck was cleared before it could depressurize.>

Rey grinned. <Good idea. Where are you?> She looked around the empty hallway as if he would appear.

<I'm making my way there, but I'll need your help. To override the blast doors, they need to be accessed on both sides. There should be a bulkhead near you.>

Rey turned, and saw the aforementioned bulkhead behind her <Got it.>

<Go that way until you come to the sealed blast doors.>

She could see a very long way down the corridor, but only took a deep breath and began running as fast as she could. Before long, she caught sight of the blast doors ahead of her, but they seemed an eternity away. It was like one of those nightmares where she kept running and running but never got any closer to whatever it was she chased.

<Are you there yet?> Ben asked.

<Almost!> Rey replied, glad she didn't have to spare breath for her response. At last, she skidded to a stop in front of the access panel. <Okay, what now?>

<Under the access panel is a door, open it up.>

Rey wrenched it open and found a large red handle inside.

<We have to pull it at the same time, it pulls out and then twists to the right.>

<Got it.> She grabbed the handle. <Ready?>

The wordless affirmative came across their bond, and along with the sense of when to start pulling. The handle was surprisingly stiff, and Rey had to brace herself against the panels beside to get enough leverage. When she could pull no more, she twisted it to the right, and it clicked into place.

With a hiss, the blast doors opened, but they parted less than a meter. Rey stared at the gap, and then Kylo Ren stepped through the doors, mask and all. The sight of the mask made her hesitate a fraction of a second, but then she threw herself at him.

He wrapped his arms around her so tightly that he lifted her right off the ground. She wanted to kiss him so badly but his stupid mask got in the way. He set her down, and practically tore the helmet off his head, throwing it away with a loud clank. Grabbing the sides of her face with his gloved hands, he kissed her so hard their teeth clicked together.

Rey didn't care. She wanted to lose herself in the kiss, to dissolve into him, to strip him naked and make love to him right there on the deck. It felt so good, so _right_ to be back in his arms, and the bond between them flared with their mutual rush of joy.

The moment was broken when the deck beneath them shuddered, reminding them of the battle raging outside. Their reunion would have to wait, it seemed.

"Come on, we haven't much time," Rey gasped, and taking his hand, she began to run back down the corridor.

* * *

General Armitage Hux stood on the bridge before the wide view screens and watched the skirmish outside, listening as his subordinates called out reports and replying with orders as necessary. There was no organization to the Resistance force, but he wasn't tempted to let his guard down. The absolute chaos was more than a disorganized attack, it was a deliberate ploy.

And not a very good one.

It made Hux suspicious. The Resistance had a number of talented tacticians at their disposal, they knew what they were doing. This sort of attack was only effective for short periods of time. Soon the chaos would put them at a disadvantage as well, as they risked firing on their own ships. Clearly, they were not interested in the sort of protracted battle that would be necessary to bring the _Finalizer_ down.

So what was the mission?

"Sir, the blast doors between Deck 216 and Deck 217 have been opened with the emergency override," came a shouted report.

Hux frowned. He'd ordered 217 evacuated when a hull breach had been detected on one of the escape hatches and the other end had jammed open.

"Has deck 216 depressurized?" he asked.

"No, sir. Neither has 217."

The frown became a scowl. He strode over to the lieutenant's station. "Get me visuals," he ordered.

"Yes, sir." The young woman was trained well, she did not quake in fear at his approach, only keyed up the security cameras and stepped neatly back to allow him access.

Crouching on the edge of the station's swivel seat, Hux flipped rapidly through the feeds. Within moments, he came across what he was looking for - two figures running down the main corridor, towards the hull breach. The first he recognized as Kylo Ren, but the smaller person chasing after him was less familiar. As she passed the camera he looked through, he recognized her distinctive hairstyle, and it clicked.

_The scavenger Ren was obsessed with. Come back for revenge?_

Her motivations didn't matter. He flipped to the next camera in their path, and quickly qued up an order on the console. His finger hovered over the button to execute it, waiting for the right moment....  
Hide quoted text

* * *

With his long legs, Ben had quickly pulled ahead of Rey. She pulled deeply on the Force to strengthen her legs, pushing herself harder than she ever had in training. They were so close, she could see the section of airlock she had cut away and the open hatchway next to it.

Suddenly, her body exploded with pain, and she fell back onto the deck. Her head reeled, it felt as if she'd run smack into a wall at full speed. Groaning, she reached up to touch her face, which felt like it was on fire. Her fingers came away bloody.

"No!" Ben shouted above her. His voice was oddly muffled. When her eyes cleared enough to focus on him, she could see bands of light passing between them, his hands pressed against a nearly invisible barrier.

A ray shield, she realized. The cone of it surrounded her. _Trapped like a muaddi rat_ , she thought, and stifled a wave of panic. She stood carefully, assessing her body. Nothing was broken, although her nose throbbed in time with her rapid heartbeat.

<Can you lift it?> she asked. Her face hurt too bad to bother with yelling.

<They're controlled from the bridge!> he answered in a panic. He ran his hands through his hair, pacing back and forth. Then he froze, looking past her. The ray shield blocked most of the sound, but the clank of stormtrooper boots on duristeel was unmistakable. And there were a _lot_ of them.

Dread filled her with a grim, quiet calm. She turned back to Ben, the sense of deja vu almost overwhelming. <You have to go,> she told him.

<What? No! I can't leave you!>

<You have to!> she argued.

Ben stood, frozen with indecision, his gaze torn between her and the rapidly approaching stormtroopers.

Rey finally recognized the surreal sense of familiarity. She had seen a vision of this moment. It was almost as if she were watching herself now.

<Go, Ben! Run!> she yelled into his mind, startling him out of his paralysis.

The galaxy hung frozen as she waited to see which version of her premonition would come true....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you think Ben should listen to Rey and run, go to: http://archiveofourown.org/works/12702165/chapters/28964652  
> If you think Ben should stay and protect her, go to: http://archiveofourown.org/works/12702354/chapters/28965261
> 
>  
> 
> So I've decided to do the two divergent sequels to this story, "The High Road" and "The Low Road" fon NaNoWriMo this year! I've had this last chapter written for a while, but I didn't want to post it until I had the first two chapters of the sequels ready, since it's a horrible cliffhanger. 
> 
> I definitely want to get this story done before Episode VIII comes out and we have new canon to work around - or with, as things look pretty promising for Reylo!
> 
> But I've also benn super busy because I just published my first original novel! It's called "Vampire, Hunter" and you can currently find the print and eBook here: https://diy.bampublish.com/users/mariaarnt and on Books-A-Million's website, but the eBook should be available for Kindle and Nook any day now (you can get .epub and .mobi versions at the first link, even though it just says PDF eBook). Same author name, Maria Arnt, which might be easier to search by thanks to the unique spelling of my last name.
> 
> If you like Reylo, you'll probably like the book. Tanya is very independent and self-sufficient like Rey, although she's a bit sassier. Seth struggles with a violent temper and an unhealthy obsession with Tanya, but he's got it together a lot more than Kylo does. Due to some lack of thought on Seth's part, they end up in a relationship in which Tanya is a slightly less-than-voluntary participant, but she's willing to work with him towards a common goal - killing vampires. Doesn't mean she's not going to give him hell the whole way though! 
> 
> Anyway, it's done and out, and I don't plan on starting the sequel until January, so aside from promotional work this story is now priority #1! I hope you guys enjoy my little experiment in parallel storytelling!


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